How We are Preparing for Adoption
When we announced we were starting our adoption journey, a dear friend of Ashley's gifted us a DVD set from the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development where she used to work. This specific training program called TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) is used all over the world to educate and train hopeful adoptive parents. We were so excited and very blessed to receive this as the training can be very expensive but the information is invaluable.
It is our hope that you will become an extended part of our family and we promise to make our best effort to foster and maintain a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship with you.
We have been going through the DVDs and read both of Dr. Karyn Purvis's books, The Connected Child and The Connected Parent. These books have guided the way we parent our children now and have given us the tools we need to help them through some of the trauma we have been through over the past couple of years including a Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis for our daughter, the Covid-19 pandemic, racial injustices in our country, and the death of one of our beloved dogs Noah. In addition to this TBRI training, we have virtually attended several trainings offered through Gladney Center for Adoption, Woven Together, and Adoption Learning Partners. The trainings have been over a variety of topics including considerations for transracial adoption and how to best support a child of a different race in our home, how to best support expectant parents, and how to educate and inform others about adoption, especially family and friends. We have also found some very informative podcasts about adoption that we subscribe to and really enjoy. Ultimately, we want to be doing the most we can do right now to prepare for our adoption and ensure that we will be able to meet the needs of our child and you. In addition to educating ourselves about adoption specific topics, we realized we needed to educate ourselves a lot more about racial injustices and inequality as well. We have been adding a lot more diverse books to our children's collection and selecting shows for them to watch that support diversity and inclusion. We really love to listen to music in our house and have been choosing playlists by artists of color more as well. Ryan and I have also been reading more to educate ourselves. We both read Be the Bridge by Latasha Morrison and also just attended the BTB 101 virtual course. It was so informative and has changed our hearts forever to be better humans, better parents, and better advocates for the BIPOC community.
We used to have two golden retrievers. Noah was 11 years old and Madeleine is now 9. Noah was extremely friendly and always loved kids. He would actually prefer to play with people, especially kids, rather than other dogs. Unfortunately, he got really sick with cancer and after trying several treatments, things did not get better so we had to say goodbye to him. It was so hard but we are more than grateful and blessed for the 11.5 years we had with him. We got Madeleine a few months before we got married. Noah had always been around other dogs, so we did not want for him to be lonely while we both worked. So, we found Maddie and fell in love with her. She is also extremely sweet, but is also the more protective dog out of the two. Both of the dogs are extremely patient with our kids. Our kids love the dogs and play with them a lot. If the kids have a dog toy or their tails get pulled, the dogs will never bark or snap at the kids. They just wait until the kid lets go of the toy and then go pick it up themselves. Our dogs are big parts of our family and we refer to them as our "fur babies." We have been home a lot lately due to the pandemic so we have been able to love on Maddie extra since we lost Noah, but as the vaccine is being distributed and life starts to get back to normal, we will probably look to rescue another adult aged dog so Maddie will have a companion to be with her during times we are all out of the house.
If you choose to pursue an adoption plan with us, we promise we will love and cherish your child just as we do our biological children. We will support them in their interests and encourage them in their dreams. One of our biggest priorities for your child will be that they grow up knowing how loved and valued they are…not just by us but by you too. We will share with them the great love you have for them and that you made an extremely tough decision to ensure you were providing for them as best as you could. We promise to continue to pray for you and love you as long as we both live.
It is our hope that you will become an extended part of our family and we promise to make our best effort to foster and maintain a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship with you. We know that you have a lot to offer in raising your child and we promise to respect and value that as well. We promise to teach your child about God’s love for all people and that Christ loves them more than anyone else.
We promise to teach them to treat others with kindness and respect and to strive to be Christ-like in everything they say and do. We hope to meet you soon and hear more about what you desire for yourself and your child!
with all our love, Ashley and Ryan