“Star Wars” Couple Opens Up About Adoption: She’s a Birth Mom, He’s Adopting

This family is passionate about each other, Star Wars, and . . . adoption.

Denalee Chapman May 04, 2016

Victor Sine and Julianne Payne are getting married. And Victor is in the process of adopting Julianne’s darling daughter, Addie. Normally this wouldn’t be big news, but this darling family is passionate—not only about each other, but also about Star Wars. So passionate, in fact, that their family outings lately have consisted of donning costumes and taking pictures. Many of these photos have gone viral, which is a blessing in many ways:  Since they became known as “The Real Finn and Rey,” Vic & Julianne’s GoFundMe page is getting more hits and they’re coming closer to reaching their fundraising goals to cover the costs of adoption. Additionally, more people are paying attention to stepparent adoption and to the importance of family stability. As we follow this adorable family, we come to know even more about their connection to adoption.

Being a Birth Mother is a Privilege
1. Being a Birth Mother is a Privilege

Julianne is a birth mother. And she’s a strong believer in getting rid of the stigma sometimes associated with birth parents. Being a birth parent and placing your child for adoption doesn’t mean you would have been a bad parent, or you’re too poor to provide, or any other number of negative notions. “Being a birth mother is a privilege,” says Julianne. “It’s a sacrifice and it’s a beautiful thing. It means you loved your child enough to give him life and to give him a loving family. Yes, it’s hard to let go, but it’s beautiful to see him grow and thrive.” When Julianne gave birth to her little boy she wasn’t in a position to care for him, nor was his birth father. “Now he has two loving parents, five siblings with another on the way, and everything he could ever hope and want.”

To Adoptive Parents
2. To Adoptive Parents

“The first few months as a birth mother are the hardest,” Julianne shares. And to adoptive parents she adds, “Don’t shut birth mothers out. I know some want to. Some are threatened and want that precious baby all to themselves. But try to remember that the baby’s birth parents gave you a priceless gift. Thank the birth mother, love her, build trust with her. Teach your child where he/she came from so there’s never a scary moment about adoption. Allow your child access to his/her birth mother so there’s never a time when they have to search.”

Unplanned Pregnancies
3. Unplanned Pregnancies

And to women who find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy, Julianne offers these words: “I feel you. I know. I know everything you’re going through and I feel your pain. Most women are torn between terminating their baby or parenting. That’s a huge black and white. What about the gray area? You can do what’s best for your baby, bless a deserving family, and show your love to your baby by giving him a life. Because you didn’t abort and you placed your child, you have given him his best chance in life. It’s the best of both worlds, really. Sure, you have to sacrifice your body for 9 months. But that’s it! Once you see that sweet face and see the happiness in his family’s faces, it will all be worth it. You can hold me to that.”

Open Adoptions
4. Open Adoptions

To all in the adoption world, Julianne says: “Closed adoptions are the old-fashioned way of doing things. This new wave of open, in-touch adoption is the best thing for everyone. I’m excited to be a part of it. I hope to be able to help normalize this type of adoption and facilitate many open adoption relationships like mine in the future.”

Marrying a Birth Mother
5. Marrying a Birth Mother

But how did Victor feel about Julianne being a birth mother? “When she told me about her previous pregnancy and birth, I was confused because I didn’t know all the details. But it was a great learning experience. I understand tremendously now the great blessing adoption is for the birth mum and for the adoptive family. It’s been a gradual learning process, but I understand more now that God chose Jules to deliver that beautiful baby boy to Earth for the family that adopted him. It’s really beautiful.”

Marrying a Single Mother
6. Marrying a Single Mother

Not only had Julianne placed a baby for adoption, but she was also parenting a very young child when the couple met each other. Vic tells us, “I knew right away that Jules had Addie. I love children and I’ve dated single mums before, so I wasn’t deterred and I definitely didn’t judge.” It didn’t take long for Addie to steal Victor’s heart!

Seeing Adoption From Both Sides
7. Seeing Adoption From Both Sides

Now Julianne is experiencing another angle of the adoption triad. First a birth mother, and now working tirelessly to secure Addie’s adoption to Victor. “Being on both ends is eye-opening for me. I thought just the birth mothers had it hard. But it’s nerve-wracking for the adoptive parents as well. Adoption is scary. That’s just how it is. It’s scary like a pool that you don’t know how deep or cold it is. But you have to take that leap of faith and then you find that it’s nice and warm and shallow enough to kick back and enjoy!”

Instant Family
9. Instant Family

With the engaged couple anticipating their upcoming marriage as well as a finalized adoption, Victor is getting an instant family. “I’m super excited about! Really! That’s how I authentically feel. I’ve been slowly prepared for this sort of instant responsibility over the years. I’ve never been opposed to dating single mothers and I think my dating experience prepared me well for my life with Jules and Addie. It feels like a great blessing to know I’m going to be a dad. I’m learning, already, so much about love, patience and responsibility.”

Meant to Be
10. Meant to Be

Julianne and Victor fit perfectly together. Not just as The Real Finn & Rey, but as The Real Vic and Jules. “There are too many coincidences to deny that we are meant to be together,” said Julianne. “It’s loud and clear that God led us to each other.” And Victor agrees: “I believe our lives led us towards each other. It was a combination of our own choices as well as guided choices that kept us on the path toward each other. Jules and I fit so well together. But, interestingly, if we had met at any other time in our pasts, it would not have worked. I’m thrilled to be a part of Jules’ and Addie’s lives.”

What's Next?
11. What's Next?

What’s next for the Star Wars Family? Well, marriage and adoption are priority #1. And they’ll continue to take super-cool Finn, Rey, and BB8 photos. Then . . . DC Comics photo shoots. But that’s not all! They also want to tackle The Hunger Games. So keep your eyes on Victor, Julianne and Addie. They’ll keep making you smile.

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Denalee Chapman

Denalee is an adoptive mother, a motivational speaker, a writer, and a lover of life. She and her husband have adventured through the hills and valleys of life to find that the highest highs and the lowest lows are equally fulfilling. Book Denalee to speak to your group, or find Denalee's writings, including her books on her website at DenaleeChapman.com.

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