The real adoptive moms project: part 1
At first, we were told that adoption was the only path for us if we ever wanted to have kids. After we had adopted our first, we found out that wasn’t exactly true. However, adoption is what felt right. Our hearts were drawn to it again and again. We particularly found ourselves on the path to domestic adoption of special needs children (in the case of our four children, we adopted them all as infants). It wasn’t something we planned, but once we started, we never looked back, really. We just sort of found ourselves open to so much more than we anticipated. Every situation that came our way was a blessing, whether there were concerns about the child or not. We also had a brief (about three-year time period) that we were foster parents, as well as some other avenues we occasionally attempted. But, we always found our way back to adoption situations that presented as “special needs” because of one thing or another. – Alicia
We choose adoption because we were struggling with infertility. We specifically choose domestic because, at the time, it was what we could afford (we were both students). We weren’t interested in foster care (we really wanted an infant adoption, which is harder through foster care). We did look into international, but while working on our domestic options. – Elise
We chose adoption because of infertility, and we chose infant domestic. – Cherlyn
Initially we chose adoption because infertility led us down that path. It was on our hearts and discussed before we ever knew that, though. But it was because of our infertility that God was assuring that we would take that path at the very time we did because He already had our son chosen for us as our child. Had we gone ahead of His timing or lagged behind, we would’ve missed out on the greatest blessing of our lives: our son and our open adoption relationship with his birth mom. Adoption was our Plan A. And now, even if by some miracle we could conceive biological children, we wouldn’t even try. – Jenny
We chose adoption after eight years of infertility. We chose domestic infant adoption because we wanted to adopt local and adopt a newborn. I wanted to be a mommy to a baby at least once to see all of the firsts. – Angel
We chose adoption because we were told by a reproductive specialist that another pregnancy would endanger my life. Knowing our family was not done growing, we excitedly turned to adoption. We looked into international adoption, but the time requirements for staying in the country were more than we could manage having two small children and no family close by to watch our kids for six to eight weeks. We are now home studied for domestic adoption and are also home studied through foster care in the event that a newborn became available. – Noelle
After finding out my husband is sterile (not sure why) and that I had endometriosis that ended up with a total hysterectomy, it confirmed what we had talked about before marriage—that we were meant to adopt. We chose domestic adoption. – Maren
Our situation was unique. Adoption chose us. Our [child’s] birth mom had placed a child with my sister then two years later found she was expecting again. My sister was not in a place to adopt, and we hadn’t carried a child full-term in four years of trying. When she approached us with the opportunity to adopt, we were excited and scared. Our adoption was private and domestic. – Celeste
We chose adoption due to fertility issues. Domestic infant. – Haley
I knew from my teen years that adoption was how my family would form. My husband and I became licensed foster parents with the hopes to adopt; however, our we adopted our son via private domestic adoption. – Nicole
We chose adoption to grow our family as a result of discovering I had a condition called “diminished ovarian reserve.” Although it’s possible for me to conceive, it’s unlikely. We grieved for 24 hours and quickly came to the decision to meet with an attorney. After the initial consultation, we agreed domestic private was our best chance at a newborn with potential to experience the birth. – Christina
For as long as I can remember, I knew I wanted to adopt someday. I was passionate about the unborn and about walking alongside women facing unplanned pregnancies. When my husband and I were dating, adoption was a topic we discussed early on. We always thought that we would have biological children and adopt but were open to God’s timeline. We were open to adopting internationally or domestically. After being married for a couple of years, we began to wonder if it was possible for us to have children but assumed that stress was interfering. In our third year of marriage, an adoption attorney I knew asked if we were ready to start the adoption process. She had an expectant mom that she was having a hard time matching. We immediately jumped in. That match was disrupted, but we continued on in the adoption journey and brought our daughter home nine months after we started the process. We knew that we were going to adopt again but decided to explore having biological children. We found out that having biological children would take a miracle, so we decided to pursue domestic infant adoption again! – Amanda
We always knew we wanted to adopt. From the time I was little, while my friends were stuffing pillows under their shirts pretending to be pregnant, I was pretending to adopt. Once I grew up and discovered I had PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) I knew it would be difficult to conceive, so adoption felt right. We chose domestic adoption because we really felt open adoption was what was best for our family. – Rebecca
I was told, due to a physical condition, that it would be very unlikely that we would be able to conceive a child and, if we did that, it was also very unlikely I would be able to carry a child to full term. We decided to start the adoption process to Haiti, and almost as soon as we started, I became pregnant. I miscarried at 11 weeks and then soon became pregnant after that, and we had our first son 10 weeks early. Our second son was also born early, and my doctor advised that I not have any more children biologically. Because we had already came to the decision that adoption would be great for our family, it was an easy choice when we decided to add to our family through adoption. This time, we felt like domestic adoption was the right choice for us—at least for a year—and if it didn’t work out, we would look into international or foster care. – Terra
We chose adoption because it finally felt right. After 10 years of infertility treatment, we decided to take a break and just be us. A few short months later, we felt called to adoption. We chose to move forward with domestic infant adoption. The our lives changed forever. – Kelly
I wholeheartedly believe adoption choose us. We had been trying to start a family for several years and were getting down to starting some serious efforts medically to try and increase our chances when it first was a thought.. My husband being the great guy that he is said he would support my decision in not trying IVF and adopting so I didn’t have to endure the toll it puts on your body. I kept thinking about it and it never left my mind but we were already on the path of IVF so I felt like I needed to try it. I remember starting the process and I always had this still small voice telling me “not right now” But I’m pretty stubborn so I ignored it and went on. As we reached the very end of the process I remember the morning we did the transfer, we had 2 great embryos it was all going great. After I awoke I remember that same thought popped into my mind “not right now” We went on with life for the 2 week wait. The day was finally here, we went in for blood work and spent the time waiting walking the temple grounds together. I knew the moment the phone rang what we would hear but I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing my husbands face. We had also told family and close friends so I was dreading the result I knew was coming. Sure enough the call came… And so did the words I knew I was going to hear ” I’m sorry but..” you can fill in the blanks…. I remember crying but inside feeling this weird peace that I wouldn’t understand for about a month after. We went on a family vacation that week and I was set on doing IVF again when we got back. We had amazing chances for it to work so why not? It was about a 2 weeks later when my husband came home after a crazy time getting his car oil changed and told me about a man working at the repair shop who had went through IVF and he and his wife ended up adopting and it was an amazing experience for them. I was so mad.. How could my husband even think that we would just give up… For me adoption was giving up.. It pains me to say that now, it puts a huge pit in my stomach to even type the words but at the time that was my reality. That night I didn’t sleep.. I had a new thought in my head.. “Your baby is coming” I talked to a close friend and told her I have the weirdest feeling. I just know something is about to happen. I thought for sure I would just end up pregnant. Within a weeks time I had several experiences where I truly believe adoption was thrown in my face to humble my strong willed self and that next week we went to orientation at LDSFS. I left that meeting knowing what was about to happen and I have never felt fear and peace together like I did that day. Almost 1 year to the day that we set our minds to research adoption my beautiful daughter was born. I had never experienced what I would see as divine intervention until that day. Our paths were matched at the perfect time for all the perfect reason. Wow long answer but I know without a doubt all of those events had to happen for us to find our daughter and her amazing birth family. – Kenzi
We chose adoption because the old-fashioned way wasn’t working for us, it was more important to have children in our family than having biological children. We did domestic infant adoption. – Chriss
