Here I am in a situation I thought I would never be in. I didn’t plan my life this way. I do not know what to do. I don’t know how to feel. I am afraid and guarded. I have hard decisions ahead. I don’t know if I am capable of making the right decisions. I am not sure what the future holds. I am scared the future will not be what I had hoped. I feel alone because I can’t explain or confess my inner thoughts. My decisions will impact others. I do not know who to trust. My life will never be the same. How do I get through this? How will my family and friends react? Where can I find help and hope? How do I cope with an unplanned pregnancy?
Reality Sets In
Sometimes reality is very unforgiving. Finding calm and peace in stressful and life-changing events can be very difficult. Even time feels impossible. Critical thinking, blame, despair, and depression are quick to step in and control our minds and block the path to peace. It is easier to allow those emotions and thoughts to overcome you than fighting, especially if you feel you are fighting alone. Feeling isolated causes panic.
Not the First
At some point in everyone’s life, they have faced these fears and feelings. Do not believe that you are the first. There are countless circumstances that these statements can ring true. Sometimes we find ourselves here by our actions, and sometimes it is under no fault of our own. Either way, going back in time is never an option. We must face our reality. Avoidance just complicates, enlarges, and leaves us unprepared. It is necessary now to educate ourselves and search our hearts to move forward. The inevitable reality is that the emotions from above will likely find their way in your path several times in your life. Remember this: life will never be predictable. The future, no matter how well-planned, can turn out exactly as we want. We find hope when we find peace by letting our life unfold and focusing more on the journey and less on the destination.
An unplanned pregnancy brings lots of emotions. It also brings pressure. For some, it brings feelings of shame due to the standards of the community or parents. It can cause thoughts of inadequacy also. Planned Parenthood reports that 50 percent of all women in the United States experience an unplanned pregnancy in their lifetime. There are going to be many who will judge. There will be those who will offer unsolicited advice and be convinced they know what is best for you and your baby. The truth is, only you can determine what you feel is best. You do not have to face this alone.
Any time there is an important decision, it must be an informed one. What if you do not know all the information? Find a source who does. Years ago, this was difficult to almost impossible. Now, there are many different avenues in which you can explore. Counselors and experts are available to explain all options without any cost. Information and support are immediately available. These compassionate individuals will guide you, not persuade you, and it will be confidential. Again, it is entirely your decision.
Choosing adoption is an option. Adoption.com offers a plethora of access to relatable stories and outcomes as well as counseling and options.
If you choose to explore adoption, there are adoption professionals to guide you through each and every step. They are on your team and anxious to answer all questions. You will be in control and supported through your unplanned pregnancy. Decisions about what type of adoption you feel comfortable with and your preferences about adoptive families will be prioritized. An adoption professional can be your cheerleader, confidant, and compassionate friend. You can feel confident in your choices because you will be fully informed. Understanding the process and experiences of each member of the adoption triad and the expected outcome will give you peace of mind. You can choose not to go it alone. You have a resource to lean on.
Hope and Help
Women choose adoption for many reasons, none more valid than another. No one has the right to judge your motives. Adoption has evolved and so have social opinions. Today, there are so many different types of adoption and circumstances. The Gladney Center for Adoption can help you navigate the details. Adoptions now, unlike in history, are more customizable. You can choose to be as involved as you are comfortable with in your baby’s life. You can also decide between an open and closed adoption. Maybe you are considering kinship adoption. This option keeps your baby in the family. Determining the right actions for you and your unborn child is the top priority.
Having preferences about the adoptive family is natural. Putting your mind at ease and peace is essential. The ability to choose who will love your baby can be a weight lifted from your shoulders. When considering an agency, question the amount of contact you will have with prospective families before deciding. You should be allowed to meet them and ask any questions you might have. Observe their dynamics and interactions before you decide.
Take Care of You
In all options available to you, there will be an emotional and mental impact. Resources are available. There are counselors and support groups available. No one understands what you are going through like another who has walked that same road. Do not sink when there is a lifeboat open. Do not let anyone make you feel ashamed or unworthy. You are beautiful and inside you is another beautiful miracle. You can do this. You can make an informed choice for you and your baby. You are strong. You are brave. You have a future. You have no reason to give up and every reason to live your best life.