How to Become a Foster Parent: Your Step-by-Step Guide

You are compassionate, courageous, and ready to begin a new phase of life as a foster parent. We applaud you! We are also happy to help you move through the next stages of your exciting journey with as much ease as possible.

Recognizing that you want to foster children is an important step, but it’s very different from actually putting in the effort needed to begin fostering children. Moving from ideas to action may feel overwhelming at first, but we’ve broken it down into manageable steps for you. 

From considering key qualities of great foster parents to preparing for your first placement, we have created a roadmap to walk you through how to become a foster parent, one step at a time.

Before You Begin: Key Qualities of a Great Foster Parent

Fostering children is a deeply rewarding experience, but it also presents unique challenges. Cultivating a specific set of qualities and skills can help you become a great foster parent.

Are You Flexible and Patient?

Flexibility and patience are key to adapting to new situations that foster parenting may bring. Children may struggle at first as they adjust to a new home and school, and a child’s struggle is also the foster parent’s struggle. You’ll be better able to move through challenges and support your foster child if you have a knack for maintaining a calm demeanor, keeping an eye on the big picture, and recognizing that ups and downs are a normal part of progress.

Are You a Team Player?

Foster parenting requires openness and good communication skills, since it involves collaborating with multiple people. Having the mentality of a team player is very important as you consult with others along your foster parenting path. For example, you may have regular communication and meetings with social workers, therapists, teachers, and biological family members about your foster children.

Are You Stable and Supportive?

Maintaining stability through the ups and downs while collaborating with others will make your foster parenting journey easier. Financial stability will help you provide for your foster child’s material needs, and emotional stability will help create a safe space for them. Maintaining a strong support system you can turn to is also helpful and positions you to be a strong source of support to your foster children.

Can You Love and Let Go?

While some parents end up adopting foster children, the reality is that the ultimate goal of fostering is usually for children to reunite with their birth parents if or when it is safe to do so. Having foster children reunite with their birth parents can be difficult for foster parents, but is an event you’ll want to be ready to face, accept, and support foster children through.

The 5 Steps to Becoming a Foster Parent

Once you’ve firmly decided you’re ready to foster, it’s time to take concrete steps forward. We’ve broken down foster parent requirements into five specific steps to make the process feel more manageable and less overwhelming. Read through them to understand what to expect.

Step 1: Research and Initial Inquiry

The first step toward becoming a foster parent is an easy, low-pressure action. You want to begin gathering information by conducting light research and reaching out to one or more agencies for more detail. You can reach out to agencies by calling during business hours, filling out an online form, or emailing an email address listed on their website.

Begin by searching online for both public and private foster care agencies in your state. Public foster care agencies are usually state-level government departments that manage the state’s foster care system. Private agencies are for-profit or non-profit organizations that the state government partners with to help with caring for foster children.

Both public and private foster agencies match foster parents with children in need of fostering, placing children in the homes that best suit their needs. They may also train foster parents, offer resources and training, provide ongoing support, help foster families navigate the legal system, and assist with a permanent arrangement, whether that is reunification with birth parents or adoption by foster parents.

Step 2: Attend an Orientation Session

Once you've identified a foster care agency and reached out to gather more information, the next step is to attend an orientation session. Orientations are introductory meetings designed to educate prospective foster parents on how fostering works. These sessions may be in-person or virtual, and they provide the opportunity for you to clarify if you're ready for foster parenting at this time.

Foster parenting orientation sessions commonly cover a wide variety of topics. Foster agency employees may provide details about their agency's mission, the roles of a foster parent, emotional aspects of fostering, specific requirements for becoming a foster parent, and the role of culture when a child's birth culture differs from their foster culture. 

Often, orientation sessions also allow prospective parents to speak directly with current or past foster parents. These Q and A opportunities give you the chance to express hopes or worries, learn about real-world fostering experiences, and better determine your own next steps.

Step 3: Complete the Application and Training

After attending an orientation session, it's time to begin the formal foster parent application process and attend a pre-service training.

The foster parent application primarily involves filling out paperwork. This paperwork is usually available either as a hard copy or as an online application. The application ensures that you meet the various foster parent basic requirements, such as being a certain age, living in a stable home, earning a steady income, and maintaining physical and mental health.

Pre-service training prepares you for the responsibilities of being a foster parent. The training also educates you on specific needs and challenges foster children often have. Pre-service trainings are meant to empower you to succeed at fostering, not test your parenting ability. 

Popular pre-service training program models include Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting (MAPP), Trauma-Informed Partnering for Safety and Permanence (TIPS), and Parent Resources for Information, Development, and Education (PRIDE). Many pre-service training programs combine one or more of these approaches in their curriculum.

Step 4: The Home Study and Background Checks

After the formal application and pre-service training, you'll undergo background checks and a home study for foster care. This stage worries some people, but rest assured that it's a collaborative process. The agency's purpose is to ensure foster children are placed in safe homes, not to intrude or be hyper-critical about details of your life or living space.

The home study usually involves a social worker coming to your home to look around. They may also ask you questions and have conversations with all of the household members. There are specific steps you can take to prepare for the home study.

Background checks are often as simple as filling out paperwork and waiting for results. The purpose of a background check is to ensure foster children's safety. Background checks usually screen for state and federal criminal records, as well as sex offender status. Disqualifying convictions differ from state to state, but are commonly those related to abuse, neglect, assault, battery, child pornography, violence, and felony drug offenses.

Step 5: Licensing and Awaiting Placement

After completing steps one through four and receiving approval from the agency you're working with, you will receive official foster care licensing. This license indicates that you have a safe home, are financially stable, are in good physical and mental health, do not have any disqualifying criminal records, and have completed any required training sessions.

Once you have your foster parent license, you will be added to a list of available homes in your area. Then, you will wait until your agency matches you with a child or multiple children. Agencies work hard to arrange placements that are a good fit, because when a placement doesn't work out, the experience can be difficult for both the child and foster family.

Sometimes foster placements take several months, so it's important to stay both patient and ready. You could receive a placement at any time, so you want your home to be prepared in advance. Maintaining regular communication with your contact at the agency and keeping your profile accurate and up-to-date may help you receive a placement when a good fit comes up.

How Long Does the Process Take?

The foster parenting process can be thought of as having two distinct phases. In the first phase, you are working toward becoming a licensed foster parent. In the second phase, you are officially licensed and waiting to receive your first foster child or children to care for. 

Understanding the typical foster parenting timeline in advance can help keep you from worrying or becoming impatient. Generally, you can expect licensing to take between three and six months. That said, the process varies from state to state and from agency to agency, so ask the agency you're working with for their projected timeline upfront. 

The licensing phase entails everything discussed previously, from attending an informational session to undergoing a home study. Prospective foster parents may wish to speed this process up, because they are eager to begin caring for a child, but the process takes time for a reason. The purpose of licensing is to ensure foster children are put in stable homes with safe, healthy people. 

After licensing is complete, the placement process can last anywhere from a few days to several months. Different foster children have different histories, needs, and limitations. For this reason, some homes are better fits for certain children than others. Placement can take a while as the agency receives different cases and identifies a child with needs that make them a good fit for your home.

Preparing for Your First Placement

Even if you've been waiting for a placement for weeks or months, receiving your first call can feel sudden. Preparing in advance may help you move through your initial placement process with confidence, rather than in an anxious scramble. Here are tips to prepare you for your first foster child placement:

• Organize and secure your home so it isn't cluttered and a child wouldn't be able to access unsafe items, like weapons or hazardous chemicals.
• Set up a gender-neutral bedroom for a foster child that contains furniture like a bed, dresser, chair, and desk, as well as some books and toys.
• Create a pack of essential supplies a foster child might need, including a toothbrush and toothpaste, towels, shampoo and conditioner, a hairbrush, and pajamas.
• Once the child arrives, establish a routine right away in terms of sleep and wake times, meals, and getting ready for school each morning and bed each evening.
• Keep emergency information on hand, such as the child's doctor and hospital, illnesses or allergies, and a list of biological family members and other emergency contacts.
• Free up your schedule for the first couple of weeks, so you can spend ample time with your new foster child, getting to know them and engaging in relaxed leisure time together.

Your Next Step Is Simple

Now that we've demystified the process of becoming a foster parent, we hope you'll take your next step along the path. There are many foster children out there waiting for safe, supportive foster parents like yourself. 

You don't have to figure out the entire fostering process in one day. Instead, keep things simple by just taking the very next step. Once that's complete, you can take the next step after it, and so on, until you are caring for a foster child yourself.

For most people, connecting with local agencies and resources is the most important action to take.

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Reading more about fostering and learning from other foster parents can also help you along the way. Explore adoption stories, or consider reaching out to local foster support groups in your area.