Hi there, I am at the very beginning of the adoption process and hope to adopt a newborn this year or next year. I am thinking about good ways to bond with my baby once I have him or her :)
I plan to induce lactation which should obviously help. All I have heard so far is for the adoptive parents to do all the care taking, diapers, baths, etc. Also to do skin to skin kangaroo care.
Anything else? Suggested reading?
While it may not be really popular to some, our family is a firm believer in putting the baby in the same room as the parents. A bassinet or small porta-crib will fit in just about any room and allows for the newborn to be aware at all times that momma is there for them. A co-sleeper (one that fits right next to the bed) is even better. I know they're expensive, but sometimes you can find one reasonably priced in a resale shop.
Additionally, if you have a bassinet, keep the baby in the same room with you during the day---even if they're sleeping. The baby can then learn/smell all of the goings-on of the house....what sounds are normal, etc.....
Can't stress enough too, the purchase of the CD/book "The Happiest Baby on the Block".......which gives insight into how babies operate with sounds, soothings, etc.......The series is from Dr. Karp and can be found on his website.
I say just look for the babies comfort cues. Do what they respond well to. Some babies love to be swaddled tightly and some hate it. Keep the baby in a bassinet in your room for the first few months. Don't overthink. Sometimes new moms stress out over every little thing and the baby feels that stress. Enjoy those baby days. They are gone in a hurry!!
Myforever - Dont over think is a good one! That one goes for all new parents, bio and adopted!!!!
Ummmm I will tell you that I have had 2 bios, 1 older adopted and 1 newborn adopted. The newborn adopted was absolutly, positivly the same bonding as my bios. NO DIFFERENCE. I actually struggled to remember that I was not pregnant for the 9 month prior to getting her. Of course the bonding is almost non existent with my older adopted DD.
If you are going for newborn then I would not even go there with the whole worring about bonding with a child you did not carry for 9 months. Its awesome!!! An experience that I am so glad that I did not miss in my lifetime.
So just love her or him. Enjoy every special minute. And go with the flow.
One more thing. With my bios I breast fed for a year each. When my adopted baby came I wanted to do the same thing because I am ALL about the breast feeding, I love it .....BUT it was quite a bit harder to get lactating and when it seemed that the effort was becoming a bit of a burden then I decided that it was just fine to just go with the formular. I guess it was more relaxing and enjoyable to pop a bottle into her mouth rather than spend what seemed like hours pumping and taking pills and herbal teas etc. Remember - dont over think it.
YAY so excited for you!!!!
I was searching the bonding techniques and find this years old thread. You guys are amazing make my work easier I also came to know about a course on newborn care guidelines( from the other forum. Looks like I am done with my research. Thanks