Today I am attending the Team Decision Meeting for Little D (has been with us almost 3 weeks). We have met biomom for 1 visit and Aunt has had two visits. Biomom is a mess and just doesn't seem interested in getting custody of her son. The aunt actually seems pretty normal and we actually kind of like her. However, I suspect they BOTH are into smoking marijuana. We saw some tattoos that give this notion away.
I think this Aunt we met is the most likely person they will place Little D with. Does anyone know if the agency drug tests family members before they place with them? This family has a history with CPS...a history that includes drug abuse.
Again, we like this aunt, but we just get that gut feeling she has an "extracarricular" lifestyle.
I would think they would do a home study and if there were any signs of use that may exclude them. My FD's grandparents were excluded because of signs of drug use during the homestudy but they were never tested.
I was surprised that we didn't need to take a drug test when we were in the process of getting licensed. I think fp should be tested.
I am pretty sure that the background checks around here are not the extensive ones that we had to have as fp. I was surprised on how things went down with baby A in such a short time.
They probably will not test. Our kids just went back to a distant "relative" in which the entire family has a long drug history. This woman was never tested. She was even as bold as to smoke in the house on visits with the kids there and the baby has breathing problems and got sick. When I reported it the CW said it can't be true because she told us that she doesn't smoke anything anymore or drink and she was even willing to post a no smoking sign we gave her on her door. Smell the kids and you can tell what the person is smoking. CW says I can't tell what that is and even if I could you can't prove who it is from.
BoysParent
Does anyone know if the agency drug tests family members before they place with them?
I was VERY surprised that hubby and myself were not tested when Nephew was placed with us. I thought maybe they'd test us when we finished getting our license, but they never did. We do NOT do drugs nor have any history of it, but it seemed odd to me for them to remove him from the home of a drug user then place him in another home without even testing.
BoysParent
Today I am attending the Team Decision Meeting for Little D (has been with us almost 3 weeks). We have met biomom for 1 visit and Aunt has had two visits. Biomom is a mess and just doesn't seem interested in getting custody of her son. The aunt actually seems pretty normal and we actually kind of like her. However, I suspect they BOTH are into smoking marijuana. We saw some tattoos that give this notion away.
I think this Aunt we met is the most likely person they will place Little D with. Does anyone know if the agency drug tests family members before they place with them? This family has a history with CPS...a history that includes drug abuse.
Again, we like this aunt, but we just get that gut feeling she has an "extracarricular" lifestyle.
They don't test here, heck, they barely background check relatives here. And I know you go on to say that you aren't usual to judge, so don't. I am not an advocate of smoking marijuana because i fully believe in following the law. That doesn't mean I agree that it should be illegal. I don't. I think it is a bunch of hooey. Alcohol has been proven in so many research projects to be far more damaging than recreational usage of marijuana, and it is completely legal. But I digress, that is not a debate for here.
There are probably far more recreational drug users in your everyday world than you would ever guess. I was chatting with some colleagues some time ago and told about how they went on this annual trip that the "voted elite" got to go to a tropical locale. And she was offered up not only marijuana but cocaine by high level management. I was flabbergasted. And my company does drug testing and you have to consent to random drug testing.
The point being, whether legal or illegal, there are hundreds of thousands of parents out there using drugs on a consistent basis and still able to "parent" successfully. So, if she smokes a joint, or whatever they call it today, after the kids are in bed, who cares, as long as the kids are being taken care of properly. If she is doing it in front of them, that is an entirely different story.
There will be sooo many more things for you to be concerned about in this foster care world. Now, having said all of that and defended this person whom I do not know, I have yet to meet someone who does recreational drugs and does do a great job of parenting. I know that FFDs auntie does pot, but not around her kids and she abstained when pregnant, but is she a great parent, no, does she meet more than their basic needs and love her kids, yah.
Seriously, just because family members do drugs does not automatically mean relative caregivers do drugs. We should not be tested unless all foster parents are tested. Of course, family members should not be considered if there is recent drug/alcohol problems. I would not think some of my family members would be appropriate as foster parents, but a background check would reveal that in their case.
As an aside, I live in California. I was taken aback recently when a young mother I know posted a pic of FB of her smoking weed. Someone admonished her saying think of your babies. She commented that CPS had already visited her and everything was hunky-dory because she had a medical marijuana card. :eek:
Temporary Mom: I could have written the same exact opinion on Marijuana. I do not use it, but should it be illegal? no. Its a joke here in CA. People get medical marijuana cards for hangnails here. Most of these folks just like to smoke weed. Its rediculous!
luvbeingamom
Temporary Mom: I could have written the same exact opinion on Marijuana. I do not use it, but should it be illegal? no. Its a joke here in CA. People get medical marijuana cards for hangnails here. Most of these folks just like to smoke weed. Its rediculous!
One of my neighbors is in the last stage of breast cancer. It's in all of her bones, her lungs, and we suspect in her brain. Medical marijuana has been a godsend for her. I know several other community members who use marijuana for medicinal purposes, and the drug works well in managing their severe chronic pain. The people I know who use it legitimately all eat it in baked goods, by the way...none of them smoke it.
I think a lot of adults in our country smoke pot, but don't have the guts or integrity to admit it. The one thing that irks me, though, is when the relatives of an addict are automatically assumed to drug-addled weirdos. My brother got strung out on drugs in the 1990s, and I took legal guardianship of his children until he and his wife got their acts together. I was totally clean by the way and hadn't used any type of drug in over 20 years at that point. Still, it was embarrassing when I'd get asked by strangers if I was related to my brother (we share an unusual surname.) One day I was checking books out at the library and the librarian asked me if I was related to "so-and-so." I looked at her and asked her why she wanted to know...and then I asked her what my brother had done now.
Quilter006
I was surprised that we didn't need to take a drug test when we were in the process of getting licensed. I think fp should be tested.
I don't do drugs. I never have done drugs. I never WILL do drugs. At social events where drinking is the norm, I've learned to carry at least a partly full glass, and pretend to drink. That way people don't ask why I"m not drinking. Or I order a no-alcohol version of a drink.
I am an honest person. When I told the state that drugs aren't an issue with me, it's time for them to believe me. I've done nothing wrong, I don't deserve to be treated as tho I might be doing something wrong, or might be lying.
When it was suggested that in my state FPs would start having to be drug-tested monthly, I wrote someone in position of relative influence, and said I thought it was a good idea... if they wanted probably 20-30-50% of the FPs they have to quit at the same time.
This "volunteer" "job" already has far too many things about it that are demeaning. That push disrespect at FPs. We're already treated like glorified babysitters. We have responsibility but no authority. Pay is late, programs to help the children are late or never come through, foster children are assigned beginning (translate: unqualified) counselors, our opinions are laughed at and not brought to the table... and JMO, if they add "pee test monthly" at some lab... I think LOTS of FPs will find it to be the final straw.
IF and only IF a person has *ever* been in trouble over drugs, then it might be reasonable to test for them. Until then, leave the rest of us, who're living normal, drug-free lives, alone.
I'll let you know if I get an opinion about this... laughing at self. But really, willy-nilly drug-testing is ridiculous, pointless, demeaning, and a waste of resources. (Some of which might go to buy shoes for foster and at-risk children.)
Alys, I don't agree with mandatory drug testing of anybody, much less foster parents. I have a chemistry degree, and I know for a fact how often the drug tests come back with a false positive. They'll also come back positive if you've been around anybody who's smoking pot.
I was a foster kid when I was a teenager...and my foster mother was a serious drunk. She passed out on the couch every single night after drinking two bottles of Cold Duck. She neglected her own kids, and I won't even go into how I was neglected. I don't know what the answer is...except I do wish that caseworkers would listen to kids who tell them about drunken or stoned FPs.
Alcohol is legal in this country, and it causes more morbidity and mortality than all other drugs combined. I wonder if and when the morality police will start testing citizens for alcohol usage. Because from what I've witnessed, alcoholism does just as much emotional damage to children that illegal substances and prescription narcotics do.
luvbeingamom
As an aside, I live in California. I was taken aback recently when a young mother I know posted a pic of FB of her smoking weed. Someone admonished her saying think of your babies. She commented that CPS had already visited her and everything was hunky-dory because she had a medical marijuana card. :eek:
Kinda off topic about the testing part but I always think the marijuana topic is so strange. If one does have a medical card and it is legal for them to be smoking it then yup, its legal for them to smoke it while having kids. Just like it is legal to drink and have your kids. And do prescription pain killers for chronic pain issues and still have your kids. As long as they are providing proper care for their child or providing an alternate care giver for when they are incapacitated (sleeping at grandparents when you go for a night out ect) then we really have nothing to complain about. I know parents who drink weekend nights. They have parties and picnics at their house and after the kids are in bed they let loose a little. Its weird because I feel like if CPS showed up at one of those moments they would have cause to take the kids because who is in control in the case of an emergency or even if a child were to wake up and need something? Just kinda thinking out lout here and wondering where most people think the line is drawn.
I actually think it would be a good idea for my father who has terminal lung cancer and is having trouble keeping up his weight to use medical marijuana. I think it would help him. I have a brother-in-law who has problems with the pressure in his eyes. Marijuana would do him good. Neither man will get a prescription because they are in recovery and are too nervous to. My father won't even use his Norco for his tremendous pain. I have considered baking him some brownies...I won't because I'm going to respect his wishes. My problem with the medical marijuana is all the people I know who have a card for frivolous reasons. We should legalize it, it is hypocritical how things are being done now. I know many young people who have cards. They are NOT ill.
I don't agree with drug testing all foster parents, just saying that if relative placements are tested, everyone should be tested. I guess I get a little sensitive reading peoples opinions on "relatives" "coming out of the woodwork" "going back to the same environment" etc, etc, etc. I am NOT doing this for the money. I am NOT an addict, I am NOT going to give the kids back to their parents. My home and family are very well respected in our community. Just because some relatives of foster kids are inappropriate to send the kids to does not mean automatically all of us are.
My first foster baby was a one month old who was removed from her kinship placement because of marijuana use. The CW said "We can't hold parents to one standard and then the relatives to another". Biomom had a drug habit. So, the baby was placed with me. I have no idea how the cw knew the kinship parents (who were friends of biomom) were using drugs. These kinship folks were allowed to visit after the baby was removed until biomom said she didn't want them around the baby (about 1 month later). From the way they talked, I think kinship parents thought they were getting baby back. And on baby's medical records, kinship mom listed herself as adoptive mother.
RavenSong
Alcohol is legal in this country, and it causes more morbidity and mortality than all other drugs combined. I wonder if and when the morality police will start testing citizens for alcohol usage. Because from what I've witnessed, alcoholism does just as much emotional damage to children that illegal substances and prescription narcotics do.
I agree. And it seems that more kids are left in homes with alcoholics as if it's not as big of a deal.
As a New Yorker, I'm shocked at the article about kids being removed from homes where Biological parents had pot. In MAPP class, the trainer said if there was no neglect, drug or alcohol use by themselves wouldn't lead to a kid being removed.