Is Adoption a Good Idea?

Susan Kuligowski April 25, 2023

Adoption is a personal decision. You can count on it to change the lives of birth parents, adoptive parents, and the child being adopted. It’s a decision that should only be made after careful consideration and with a clear understanding of the potential benefits and the challenges that come along with it.

So, is adoption a good idea? The answer is not a simple one. It really depends on many things, including the motivations behind adoption, the resources available to both the birth parents and the adoptive parents, as well as the needs and well-being of the child.

While adoption is often equated with the picture of a child finding a forever family—it’s not as simple as that. In truth, adoption is a complex and emotional process for everyone involved.

Benefits of Adoption

One of the biggest benefits of adoption is that it can give a loving and stable home to a child who may not have had one otherwise. Not only does adoption provide a child with a safe and nurturing environment, a sense of belonging, and a chance for a better life, but adoptive parents can offer a child stability and consistency that may not have been present (or possibility) in the child’s previous living situation.

As it does for any potential parent, biological or adoptive, it offers the opportunity for personal growth and fulfillment. Many adoptive parents find the experience of adoption brings great joy and a sense of purpose. It can also be a way to expand their family.

The decision to place a child for adoption is not an easy one. Just like the decision to adopt should be taken very seriously, so should the decision to make an adoption plan for a child. It is something that should be done carefully and with support from trusted professionals and loved ones. It is not a choice to be made easily or quickly, and it is important to know that it is different for every expectant parent and every situation.

While adoption can be a positive and life-changing experience for a child, it does not come without great loss. No matter the situation, it’s important to remember that adoption is a lifelong process that will evolve as your child grows. Making sure they are supported every step of the way falls on the shoulders of the adoptive parents and in some cases the birth family (if they choose to be involved through an open adoption). With the right amount of understanding and support, many children who are adopted thrive in their new families and go on to lead happy and healthy lives.

Challenges of Adoption

The first thing to consider when deciding if adoption is a good idea is the potential impact on the child being adopted. Adoption can absolutely be a positive experience for the child providing them with a stable and loving home. However, adoption can also be traumatic for some children, particularly if they have experienced abuse or neglect in their previous living situation. Even if they have not, adoption is the result of familial loss. It would be naïve to think that an adopted child will not experience feelings of confusion, sadness, or loss during their lifetime.

Adoptive parents need to be ready to provide support and care for their children whether or not they experience outward signs of trauma or loss. This may look like reading books or watching movies together that accurately depict adoption. It may involve casual conversations on the way to and from soccer practice. It may include counseling or therapy to help the child process their emotions and adjust to their new living situation. Adoptive parents also need to be willing and able to provide for the child’s physical, emotional, and developmental needs.

In addition, adoptive parents need to be aware of the potential impact of adoption on the child’s identity and sense of self. Adopted children may struggle with questions about their biological parents and their own identity. It is important for adoptive parents to be open and honest with their child about their story and to provide support as the child navigates these complex emotions.

For some children, adoption can be a difficult and traumatic experience that can lead to feelings of loss, grief, and confusion. This can be especially true for older children who may have memories of their birth family or have experienced problems in previous living situations like foster care. Children who have experienced trauma or neglect before being adopted are also more vulnerable to experiencing difficulty adjusting to their new family.

Hopeful adoptive parents need to realize the process to adopt has a reputation for being complex and time-consuming, involving exhausting legal, financial, and emotional issues. You may encounter unexpected setbacks along the way, including lengthy waiting periods, legal issues, and unexpected costs.

Adoptive parents also need to be prepared for the emotional challenges that come with adopting. Adopting a child can be an emotional rollercoaster. You can expect highs and lows as well as a lot of uncertainty and anxiety. This is why it’s important for you to have a support system in place to help navigate your journey.

What to Consider

Your decision to adopt should also consider the resources available to you. Let’s talk about the money involved in most adoptions. As it can be expensive, it’s important for adoptive parents to be prepared for the financial costs involved. Costs and fees can vary widely depending on the type of adoption you choose, the adoption agency or attorney you select, and the country of origin if adopting internationally.

Adoptive parents should plan to cover the costs of the adoption as well as the ongoing expenses of raising a child. Remember that adoption begins they day you bring your child home.

The decision of whether adoption is a good idea is a complex and deeply personal one that should be made after careful consideration. While it can be a positive experience for everyone involved, it also can prove challenging in all the ways we’ve discussed. For these reasons, it’s important that you are aware of and prepared for the ups as well as the downs that may occur along your adoption journey.