As fathers, you do have a role in the adoption plan. Even though more emphasis is placed on the mothers, you have equal parental rights as well. This is important to remember throughout the placement process. Below is a smaller breakdown of your role in the adoption plan:
Parental Rights: You have them. You have them until you sign them over or a judge takes them away. Your parental rights are crucial during the adoption plan. Without your parental rights, you can’t make the tough decisions. This gives you that needed authority to progress through the process.
Speak Your Mind: Share your opinion with your partner. Let her know what is on your mind and what you would prefer to do in your current situation. She will never know what you need unless you tell her. This is where the discussion should begin—-after you’ve shared your thoughts on the matter, and after you have listened to her thoughts.
Study Your Options: Remember that you do have options. You may find that some people will try to pressure you to make the decision that they want you to make. You can’t make your decision this way. You have to put in the time and effort to learning about and studying all your options. It’s the only way to make an informed decision—-a decision with which you can live with for the rest of your life.
Come to a Decision Together: With your partner, come to a decision. When you come to a decision together, it creates harmony and trust within a relationship. This gives both the opportunity to have a say in the matter, and it helps guard against bitterness and resentment towards each other. This is important for any worthwhile relationship.
Support Each Other: After you’ve both made the decision, you should support each other. Sometimes-—especially when you don’t make the choice that others want you to make—-the necessary support isn’t available. If you need additional support, consider visiting a professional counselor or therapist or an organized support group. You have many resources and options when it comes to getting the right support. Take advantage of them.
Remember that your fatherly role is vital in the adoption plan—-or any other option you choose that is best for you, your partner, and your child. Be an active participant throughout the entire process. It is something you’ll never regret.