Some time ago, I was talking to a very well-intentioned friend about my journey as a birth mother. She praised me, saying that I was wonderful for taking accountability for my mistake and turning my life around. She was right about one thing. Placing my baby for adoption did turn my life around, but she is not a mistake.
The word mistake implies regret. Little R is just the opposite. I regret a lot of things, but she is not one of them. Here are 4 reasons why.
1. She’s a human being.
No human being is a mistake or an accident. Little R is an independent little soul with thoughts and feelings and her own story. She has ten fingers and ten toes and a big cheesy smile. She’ll grow up to be whatever she wants to be. She is a capable of love and sorrow and joy. That’s not a mistake, it’s a miracle.
2. She got me back on track.
Before I got pregnant with my birth daughter, I was in a very dark place. I didn’t know what a healthy relationship felt like. I was angry and I pushed away everyone who cared about me. I was struggling and lost and scared.
But then I had her. I had no choice but to straighten my life out. I had to purge my life of unhealthy relationships because I needed to keep her safe. I had to let in the friends and family I had pushed away, because I couldn’t get through it by myself. I had to pull myself together to be a good role model for her.She showed me my true potential. Without her, I would have continued to sink deeper and deeper. I climbed out for her, and now I’m staying here for me.
3. She blesses lives.
I have never seen more natural, sweet relationships than the ones little R has with her family. She has a big brother who teases and loves her, and a mama and daddy who prayed for her, wanted her, and chose her. She was meant for them, and they were meant for her. Her beautiful adoptive family is no mistake.
It is no coincidence that I am her birth mother. I need her adoptive family too. The friendship I have with them brings so much joy to my life. We have fun, and I look up to her parents so much. I’d like to have a marriage and family like they do some day.
4, She is the cutest, silliest, most beautiful brilliant child that has ever graced this earth.
Need I say more?
Unplanned does not mean a mistake. It means a miracle came at just the right time.
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