When you are building your family through adoption, there is an unlimited number of things you can worry about. I am very type A and love to worry and plan and worry some more. I have found out after being in the world for a few years now, that there are some things that really aren’t worth the worry.
1. A healthy child
Everyone wants a healthy child. Adoption is no different. In adoption, however, you have no control over how your child is cared for before you meet them. There are also all types of misconceptions about children who have been adopted. I will let you in on a secret: More time than not, if an expectant woman is considering adoption, she is doing everything she can to give her unborn child the best shot at life. That’s why she is looking at your profile. Here’s one more secret. Even if everything is done “right,” a child may still have health problems. Even biological children can have life-threatening ailments and a really overwhelming diagnosis. Your child is perfect for you.
2. Birth parents
Birth parents are a part of your child. To love your child is to respect his or her birth parents. You love every inch, inside and out, of your child. Your insides can feel when they hurt or when they need you. You have an unbreakable bond. It can also take time to fully grasp the fact that someone else loves your child in a very powerful way, too. It’s in a different, but similar way. It can be scary and intimidating. Your child’s birth parents did something for your child that you couldn’t do. Your child’s birth parents also want what’s best for their child. They broke their own hearts for you child. You did too.
3. Adoption language and ignorant adoption questions.
Educate yourself. Provide resources for the people who matter. Then, let. it. go.
It’s going to happen. People are going to say dumb things. They are going to corner you at Kroger and assault you with their ignorant curiosity. Then, they’ll waltz away thinking good thoughts about themselves, and you will cry in the produce aisle. Sometimes, you will be able to respond well and quick like the rock star that you are. Other times, you will be completely caught off guard and fumble and mumble your way out of the situation. It means nothing about your devotion to your child. It means nothing about your scholarly adoption education. The only thing it means is that adoption is misunderstood in our society. And solving that issue is bigger than all the aisles at Kroger.
4. You will live to tell the tale
When you are in ‘The Wait’ (whatever wait that is for your situation), you will live to tell about it. It is so very, very hard. It can also be so very long and unpredictable. It’s complicated and you will break down, break out, and break apart. But, you will live. Do not worry about ‘if’ you will get through it. You will get through it. It will be worth it. You are worth it.
Adoption is hard. There are things you can worry about at every turn. I hope this helped. I hope that I can take some of your worry away.
What have you learned wasn’t worth the worry?
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