The adoption process, like anything else in life, has not only its rewards but also its challenges. However, these simple tools can help you to move past these sticky, sometimes messy, moments and see the real worth in every potential frustration you encounter. See what works for you and adapt and evolve as you need to!
1. Your resources for your adoption are the same resources that are there for you during times of trouble.
Nobody expects smooth sailing with anything worth having, so utilize them! Your agency, lawyer, support system (family, friends, and/or actual support group), church, other adoptive families . . . They can’t offer their own words of experience and wisdom if they don’t know what you’re going through. Tell them and ask them what they might view as good coming from the challenge you’re facing if you can’t find it on your own.
2. Actively look for an upside to whatever difficulty you are experiencing.
See it through a spiritual lens, whatever spirituality may mean to you. Fit the situation into your philosophy of life, and see if you think you are just meant to endure the moment and keep plugging away at the goal, or if you’re meant to learn from it, or even if you are supposed to inspire others yourself. Find what works and hold onto that!
3. View your challenge(s) selflessly for a moment, and see what reveals itself to you.
If nothing does, that’s okay. -Simply recognize that and keep going with the determination to always identify what the moment may be showing you. If, however, something does “show up” while you are least looking for it, examine its potential up-sides and choose a positive aspect to focus on.
4. Always choose the positive.
If you have several different ways of perceiving a situation, go with the most positive as your truth. This isn’t denial; it’s merely making reality “doable” and bearable. Resolve to take every possible negative outcome and turn it into a positive.
5. Ask yourself if your challenge could be used for a greater good.
Could you be using it to write an article to help others? A book? How could your problem be of use to another family going through the same thing. Get creative.