5 Tips for Inviting Birth Parents to be More Open in Adoption

Here are five simple tips for inviting birth parents to be more open in the adoption plan.

Shelley Skuster October 25, 2015
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Meeting your child’s birth family is life-changing.

Whether your child is older or younger, forming a healthy relationship with their birth family can be important.

Here are five simple tips for inviting birth parents to be more open in the adoption plan:

1. Create a safe space

Allow your child’s birth family to feel comfortable sharing their honest, raw feelings and experiences. Make your relationship a compassionate, judgment-free zone where they feel safe to talk to you about what’s going on in their lives. Creating a safe space with healthy boundaries for them to open up will allow for the beginning of what could be a meaningful relationship.

2. Initiate communication

If you haven’t heard from your child’s birth family in a while, consider sending them a note. Let them know they’re on your mind. Don’t be afraid to initiate communication with them, but do so with the understanding that they may not respond right away.

3. Remain trustworthy

Honor the requests and commitments of your child’s birth family. If your child’s birth parents entrust you with private information, respect them and don’t publicize it. If you agree to meet or talk with them at a certain time, don’t change plans unless you have to. Healthy relationships involve a high level of trust between both parties.

4. Let them know they’re valued

Remember your child’s birth family during holidays and important days for your family. Send them a birthday card or a homemade gift with your child’s handprint or footprint, and let them know they’re valued and appreciated.

5. Invite them to participate

Invite your child’s birth family to attend birthday parties, family gatherings, or your child’s extra-curricular activities if your relationship allows. Remind your child’s birth parents it’s okay to be involved in your child’s life. They may not always take you up on the offer, but invitations for involvement can be appreciated.

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Shelley Skuster

Shelley is a former award-winning television journalist who traded in suit coats and red lipstick for a messy bun and yoga pants. She's a freelance writer who stays at home with her three daughters who are all ((gasp)) under the age of three and came to her via adoption and birth. She's the woman behind the blog Shelley Writes, and she can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.


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