6 Things I Want to Say to Everyone Adopting Children

From my adoptive momma’s heart to yours.

Shelley Skuster July 05, 2015
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So you’ve taken the plunge to grow your family through adoption? Congratulations, and welcome to the club!

While we’re all unique and the paths that led us to adopting a child may be different, I believe many of us have similar hearts.

Here are six things I want to say to you—from my adoptive momma’s heart to yours:

1. You can do this. 

Whether you’re sifting through paperwork on a cluttered dining room table preparing for your home study, or you’re doubting your parenting skills when your rebellious teen shows up 15 minutes after curfew, you’re not alone. You can do this parenting thing. As adoptive parents, we can do hard things.

2. You are strong. 

Saying “Yes” to a child who may come from a hard place, or whose medical history may be different than your own familial history—even unknown—isn’t always easy. At times, it’s terrifying. On those hard days when worries creep deep into your heart, just remember—you are not alone. And you are stronger than you think you are.

3. You are enough. 

As adoptive parents, our lives can feel like they’re under a microscope. Our bank accounts are scrutinized, our friends and family members are interviewed about our parenting qualifications, and we have to prove we are safe and responsible and good enough to love, nurture and raise a child. When the going gets tough in the adoption process—when it feels like your pitfalls and shortcomings are the only things noticed—know this: You are enough. You are more than enough.

4. You’re right where you’re supposed to be. 

God doesn’t place children in the wrong family. You aren’t your child’s parent by accident. In fact, a lot of things had to fall into place to make your family a reality. But that doesn’t mean once your child’s adoption is finalized that life is all rainbows and unicorns. Life is hard. Adoption can be messy. The process can be exhausting and consuming. When you feel an inkling of doubt in how you’ve chosen to grow your family, remember this:  You (and your child) are right where you’re supposed to be.

5. You are prayed for. 

There are many families like your own—families who celebrate healthy open adoptions, who struggle with waiting to be chosen as parents for a precious child, who say “yes” to loving and nurturing and guiding children from hard places. Families like mine? We’re praying for families like yours. We’re praying for your hearts to mend as you grieve the loss of your child’s birth family; we’re praying for strength to surpass worry about being a good enough parent for your child; and we’re praying for your child to grow up knowing how much he or she is loved and cared for.

6. You’re doing a great job. 

Whether you’re an expectant parent waiting patiently for your home study to be complete or have four young foster kiddos with a teen in tow, I’m in your corner. I’m rooting for you. And you’re doing a great job.

Are you considering growing your family through adoption? For a free and confidential consultation with an adoption professional, click here.

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Shelley Skuster

Shelley is a former award-winning television journalist who traded in suit coats and red lipstick for a messy bun and yoga pants. She's a freelance writer who stays at home with her three daughters who are all ((gasp)) under the age of three and came to her via adoption and birth. She's the woman behind the blog Shelley Writes, and she can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.

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