We adoptive parents know that there are no words and no gifts that can properly and fully show our love for and gratitude to our children’s birth mothers. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try! For those in any form of an open adoption, opportunities to express gratitude are abundant, beginning at the hospital or at the time when you meet your child and take him home. Following are some suggestions made by a wide array of birth mothers who have been the recipient of great gifts and birth parents who have worked hard to come up with “just the right thing.”
At The Hospital
- A Comfort Pack that include lotion, body scrub, a brush, and other shower essentials
- A Labor and Delivery pack. This could include things like lip balm, fuzzy socks, mints, eye drops, magazines, make-up wipes, etc.
- an Encouragement Pack, which could include focus items for going through labor, like a framed print of her favorite encouraging phrase, essential oil of lavender or other soothing scent, and quiet music.
- Pamper Gift Cards, for things like a mani-pedi, Starbucks, movie tickets, and/or an online photo book.
- Sentimental gifts like the baby’s birthstone necklace, matching stuffed animals for birth mom and baby, a handkerchief with the date embroidered on it, a charm bracelet which will have a new charm added each year when the baby’s birthday picture is sent to birth mom, a photo album with plenty of space to keep the pictures you send to her, matching blankets for baby and birth momma (be sure to follow up with the blanket in pictures you send each month or year), a heartfelt letter to be opened later
- “Cheer up” gifts like nail polish, adult coloring books, a great novel, DVD and popcorn, restaurant gift card, etc.
The idea is to share some of your heartfelt feelings for your child’s birth mother and to show her that you truly have tender thoughts about her and hopes for her healing. Whatever you choose to do, be sure to use your best words to express your feelings as well.