7 Crappy Excuses For Closing an Adoption

There are very few good reasons for closing an open adoption, but there seem to be a myriad of awful ones. Here are a few of my (least) favorites:

Karen White September 03, 2016
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There are very few good reasons for closing an open adoption, but there seem to be a myriad of awful ones. Here are a few of my (least) favorites:

1. I never wanted an open adoption anyways. 

Wait what? I can’t even . . . so you are saying that you LIED about wanting an open adoption but really didn’t? Shame on you. Just remember your good friend Karma will always be there for you.

2. I don’t like my child’s birth family.  

Do you like all of your biological family? I mean honestly, EVERY SINGLE ONE? Chances are no. And even so, life is full of people we don’t like. Getting along with those we don’t care for is a life lesson your child will need to learn. Set the example for them.

3. I don’t like my child’s birth parent’s new boy/girlfriend. 

And what are you going to do when you don’t like your child’s boyfriend or girlfriend? Cut them off? As long as the person isn’t a danger or downright disrespectful, refer to #2.

4. We (or they) are moving far away. 

There are these great inventions called email, snail mail, phone calls, Facetime . . . should I keep going? Chances are you are reading this article on your smart phone or through Facebook as it is. Visits do become more difficult when there is a distance, but that is no excuse to cut contact.

5.The birth parents have had more kids. 

More children means more love. Your child deserves to know his or her half siblings. And you didn’t deserve to get to automatically adopt them regardless of the circumstances.

6. My other child’s adoption isn’t open. 

It is always a tough situation when one child has more openness than another. But you can’t always make things “equal” for your kids. One will be the better reader, one will be a better athlete. All you can do is include both children and discuss the positive of their personal stories. Don’t take away the benefits of openness from one child because of the other.

7. We have different lifestyles. 

And this surprises you? Did you think your child’s birth family was going to look exactly like yours? Is your neighbor’s lifestyle exactly like yours? Everyone makes different choices and people change over time. When your child makes choices you don’t like (and it WILL happen), you won’t cut them off. Teach you children that differences make the world what it is. Good and bad.

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Karen White

Karen White is the self-proclaimed leading authority on being "that mom." You know the one. The PTO Vice President, room mom, baseball team mom, AND leader of well-behaved kids (OK, the well-behaved part may be stretching it . . . like really stretching . . .) When she isn’t threatening to tackle one of her boys on the ball field if they don’t run faster, or convincing her 4-year-old daughter that everything doesn’t HAVE to sparkle, she is also a wife and stay-at-home mom of three. One of the three happens to have been adopted, but good luck figuring out which one it is, since they all have pasty white skin, blond hair, and blue eyes.


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