Everyone in the adoption triad has hard days. For a birth mom, those days sometimes come around more often than we’d like them to. Finalization day, rolling over, first food, birthdays, baptisms . . . the list could go on forever. When I am having a hard day I turn to quotes and poems that are mostly written by fellow birth mothers. These women know exactly what my pain is and how to say exactly what needs to be said to get through my trial. Here are a few of my favorite:

“Had I loved him any less – one ounce less – he would be with me now! My love for him was the only thing that could enable me to break my own heart.” – Tamara Dawn Hyde

“He is mine in a way that he will never be hers, he is hers in a way that he will never be mine, and together, we are motherhood.” – Desha Wood

“Open adoption is not the loss of my child, but the gaining of a family!” – Laura Gladden Butler


“Adoption is not a birth mother’s rejection but an unconditional love that inspires her to put herself last and do all she can for her baby.” – Author unknown

“Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good.” – C.S. Lewis

And of course, I live by the words of Brene Brown. I think she might be my spirit animal.

“You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.” – Brene Brown

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“Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” – Brene Brown

That last quote from Ms. Brown is how I find my center and how I continue on through my story. There are so many that get me right in my feelings that I could go on for days and days. We all have painful moments in our lives. Being a birth mother just increases those moments. It is how we perceive these lessons and how we decide to move forward with those days that makes the difference.

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