Are you a teenager who has found herself in a predicament she never thought she would find herself in? Are you a woman who wanted to build her career before starting a family? Are you a woman who could never see herself as a mother, but is at a crossroads due to a recent pregnancy? Do you want to know more about adoption in San Antonio?
This guide will explain the different areas of adoption San Antonio for the expectant mother (birth mother). But first, let’s take a look at some fun facts about San Antonio.
1. San Antonio Fun Facts
- Sea World San Antonio is one of the largest marine parks in the world, spanning over 400 acres. It is also the home of the largest and tallest roller coaster called the Texas Stingray.
- Did you know that Gatorade was invented by San Antonio native Robert Cade who was a professor at the University of Florida in medicine when he discovered it? He researched why the football players did not urinate after a game and concluded that they did not have enough fluid in their systems to produce it. They basically played so hard they became dehydrated and did not replenish the moisture they lost in their bodies.
- Yahoo travel claims that San Antonio is one of the most haunted places to visit with all of the “haunted” houses and hotels there are in the area. If you are into that sort of thing, it could be fun.
- The Fernando Cathedral was founded by several families who came from the Canary Islands in 1731. To know it is still standing today is awesome.
- The dirt that is used at the San Antonio Stock Show and Rodeo is reused every year because if they had to purchase it each time it would be close to $20,000.
- Were you aware that basketball great Shaquille O’Neal got his start in San Antonio? I didn’t know either.
- Did you know that in 1987 Pope John Paul II held a mass in San Antonio that was attended by over 350,000 people? This is said to be one of the biggest events in San Antonio’s history.
- San Antonio holds the largest cowboy boot sculpture which has a height of over 35 feet and was sculpted by Bob Wade in 1980.
- President Lyndon B. Johnson and Lady Bird Johnson got married at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church in downtown San Antonio.
- The first all-digital library called Biotech was created in 2013 in this great city.
2. Options For Expectant Mothers
As an expectant mother in San Antonio, you may be scared, panicked, or even terrified by the idea of being a parent. This was not something you had planned, so what do you do? You are probably wondering what kinds of decisions you really have. Before we delve into the adoption San Antonio process, there are three options that you can look at before making your final decision. These are:
Parenting– You could choose to have your baby and keep him or her. The downfall to that, especially if you are a teenager or college student, is raising a child is hard work and does not stop once they are grown. There is also the financial aspect you want to consider. Raising kids takes a lot of money and most young adults or teenagers do not make enough to care for themselves much less a child. Being a young mother you might still be in school whether it be high school or college and find yourself having to juggle school, working, and raising a baby. If you are one of the lucky few, you might have a support system that assists you when you need it.
Abortion– You might feel that this is your only option especially if the baby’s father wants nothing to do with the baby and you have no support system. You may believe that by terminating your pregnancy, you can continue with your life as if it never happened. This is definitely a difficult decision, and before you take this step make certain it is your decision. You cannot come back from this decision once it is done and other people should not push you to do it or make the decision for you.
Adoption – This might not be an option you have given a lot of thought to. However, it is one of your options if you become pregnant and do not know what to do. According to Merriam-Webster, adoption means “A person or family raises a child or children that are not biologically theirs.“ Again, this is not a choice that should be taken lightly. It will be the most important, selfless, and loving decision you will ever make. Knowing that you are giving your child a better life, something you cannot do, will in some ways fulfill your life as well.
3. Making the Right Decision for You and Your Baby
The first thing you must do when finding yourself pregnant, especially if you are alone, is to decide whether you want to place your baby for adoption. Placing your baby does not make you a bad mother. In fact, if you know in your heart that the baby would thrive better in a household other than the one you can provide, then deciding on adoption is a selfless act that makes you a mother. You are thinking about the needs of the child over your own.
When making such a heart-wrenching decision, listen to what your heart and your gut tell you. They will never steer you in the wrong direction if you take the time to really listen.
4. Finding an Agency
Once you have made your choice to place your baby for adoption San Antonio, your second step would be to find an adoption agency to walk you through the process. What is an adoption agency? As stated on Adoption.org, adoption agencies “are the intermediary in most adoptive journeys. Agencies are organized to facilitate adoptions and be in service of both birth parents and hopeful adoptive parents.” One such agency that is actually based in Texas is The Gladney Center for Adoption. This great agency not only assists expectant mothers in Texas, but they are known to work with other birth mothers and prospective adoptive parents worldwide. You will want to make sure the agency that you choose is a good fit for you because they will be the ones who will answer all your questions, help you find a family to adopt your baby, assist you in obtaining a therapist who will provide you with coping skills when it comes to the emotions you will face, and a myriad of other things associated with adoption.
5. Finding a Family & Meeting Them
The third step on your adoption journey is finding the family or individual you want to raise your baby and give him or her a home. This can be a daunting task for sure as you sift through file after file hoping and praying one leap out at you. Luckily, because of technology, there is a thing called photo listing which allows you to find families via computer instead of having to go through paper files. This is another area using your gut instincts works in your favor because your instincts do not fail. You will find your baby’s forever family with confidence.
After you have found the adoptive family, next comes the meeting. This can be a scary step, but luckily your caseworker will be with you. Possibly, your caseworker has already prepped you on how to begin. Sometimes, asking questions to “break the ice” works. Some you may consider are:
- How did you meet? Was it love at first sight?
- Are there traditions that you will include my baby in?
- Are you going to tell him or her that he or she is adopted? If so, what age?
- If he or she wants to find me, will you allow that?
- What hobbies and family activities do you enjoy?
These types of questions can set the stage for getting to know the chosen family or individual better.
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6. Creating an Adoption and Hospital Plan
Just like most other cities in Texas, San Antonio requires that there be both an adoption and hospital plan put in place. This is step number four in the adoption process. It is one of the many areas that your adoption agency comes in handy as they explain both the adoption and hospital plans to expectant mothers who are considering adoption. An adoption plan gives you, the expectant mother or parents, along with the family you choose the opportunity to decide how much interaction you will have once your child is placed with his or her forever family. There are three types of involvement.
- Closed adoption – Not so long ago, this was the only way adoptions took place. In a closed adoption, once the baby is placed with the agency or prospective adoptive parents the birth mother or parents have no idea where their child is and cannot contact him or her. The challenge with this type of adoption is that there may come a time when the child wants to know who his or her biological parents are. It is difficult because most of the time, closed adoption files are sealed and only a judge can unseal the records.
- Open adoption – Open adoption used to be unheard of, but as people began realizing the importance of heritage and knowing where we come from this one started gaining more and more traction. In this type of adoption, the prospective adoptive parents work with the birth mother or parents on an agreement about how much and/or how little the birth family can interact with their child as he or she grows. This agreement is based on the comfort level of both the adoptive and birth families. The interaction could happen in the form of photos, letters, social media, and/or visitation (this will be set in place once the adoption is finalized by a judge).
- Partially Open/Closed adoption – This type is just the way it sounds. It means that the birth mother or parents get to know certain things regarding the baby placed for adoption, but there will be information kept under wraps. Usually, this type of adoption means that all communication will be handled through an intermediary. This intermediary can be the adoption agency or adoption attorney. Something common to this type of adoption is yearly letters from the adoptive families to the birth family about the adoptee. These letters can include pictures and information on how the child is doing and what they are involved in.
The hospital plan is where you decide who is allowed in the delivery room with you once you are in labor. You may want your support system (mother, friends, or confidante) or you may prefer to share these moments with the baby’s father. Sometimes there are birth mothers who prefer to involve the prospective adoptive parents in the birth experience as much as possible. While creating this plan, one thing you want to make certain to include is that you have a way home from the hospital upon your release.
At this point, after the baby is born you may want to spend as much time as you can to memorize every feature of your baby. Every facial feature can be analyzed to decide whether he or she looks like you or the father. Every tiny little squeak and cry can be committed to memory in hopes you will never forget what your baby looks or sounds like.
There are some young mothers, however, who would rather not see their baby after birth because it would be too hard to see another family adopt him or her. When she is asked, she may opt-out out of it for fear that she will change her mind and want to keep the baby even though she may know that it is not in the baby’s best interest.
7. What Comes After Adoption in San Antonio
The last step you will face is where you go from here. What are your plans now that your options are open? Will you finish school? Get a job? You may find yourself second-guessing your choice. You may deal with depression among many other emotions. These are the kinds of issues that you want to make sure you have a therapist to talk to when needed. A therapist will help you maneuver through the plethora of feelings you will experience both happy and sad and sometimes emotions in between. You will want to have something to keep you busy and to better your future as you move forward in your life. You could look at it as making your baby proud. Now that you have provided your baby with a better life, You should provide yourself with a better life as well.
