Adopting Again

Questions to consider when preparing for another adoption.

Sonia Billadeau July 29, 2014
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About a year after we adopted our son I was ready to adopt again. We had had a wonderful experience with our first adoption. Since the adoption process can take one to two years, we decided to get started. There was only one problem: We did not have the money saved up. That was the first obstacle we had to jump over.

As I began to talk to my husband about adopting again, several issues arose. Were we ready to add another child to our family? How were we going to get the money? What agency were we going to use? How was this going to affect our son? Did we want an open or closed adoption? Could I handle two kids? Could I handle it emotionally?

Maybe we weren’t ready to adopt again! I hadn’t put too much thought into how it was going to affect our family; the good and the ugly. We were worried that a birth family would not pick us because we already had a child. I looked at my son and realized he was settled into our home. He had a routine. He loved all the attention he was getting. A new baby was going to rock his world. Ours too!

When I started to really look at my son and think about how adding another child would affect his life, I began to have second thoughts. My husband would always tell me that there wasn’t going to be a “perfect time.” I was in a hurry to have another child. Maybe it was because we had hoped for a child for so long. Maybe it was because I loved my son so much and I wanted to continue to share my love.

Whenever you decide to add another child to your family, it is a very personal decision. For some it is a very easy decision. For others it takes a little more time to decide.

The biggest factors for us were money and the type of adoption we wanted. Saving for a private adoption is not easy. Out of all the adoption obstacles, money was the most frustrating. It makes me furious when I think about how much it is to adopt a child. Thanks to our second adoption, I finally understand where all the money goes. For our first agency, the money was used for advertising to the birth families and adopting families. The money also went to providing care for the birth mothers and counseling for the birth families.

The other deciding factor for us was if we wanted a closed or open adoption. We have a semi-closed adoption with our son’s birth mother. If we chose to have an open adoption with our second child, how was this going to affect our son? When it comes to adopting a sibling, I do believe you need to take all of this into consideration.

Having another child can change your family dynamics dramatically. It would take four more years for us to adopt another child. I can tell you from our own experience, having a second child was an easy decision once we had the money. My daughter is one of the best things that happened to our family. Yes, it was hard to go from one child to two, but it was all worth it. Our daughter is a blessing. She completes our family.

 

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Sonia Billadeau


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