Adopting a Teenager

For many prospective parents, the idea of adopting a teen from foster care is daunting. Unlike infants, teenagers and older kids come with histories, memories, and sometimes, trauma. However, that doesn’t mean they can’t benefit from a stable, loving home. Teens need parental support just as much as small children. By adopting a teenager, you can change a life for the better.

Why Adopt a Teenager?

The Reality of Aging Out

More than 15,000 teens aged out of foster care in 2024, entering the adult world without biological parents or an adoptive family to lean on. For many youth who are preparing to age out of the system, foster care represents the last time they will experience stability or a safe, nurturing environment.

One of the greatest challenges former foster kids face is homelessness. Up to 30% of youths who age out will become homeless at some point during their adult lives, in contrast with 4% of the general population.

In addition to housing insecurity, former foster youth struggle with a host of other challenges. Without adequate support, they often have difficulty meeting educational and employment goals. They are less likely to hold a high school diploma and far less likely to earn a college degree or certification than individuals who have not spent time in foster care.

Many teens who age out find themselves involved with the legal system. An astonishing 40% of former foster kids will be incarcerated by the time they are 20. Many will face employment and housing difficulties later due to their legal histories.

The Need for Belonging

Teenagers need love, security, and a sense of belonging just as young children do. While they may not need someone to teach them the ABCs or basic skills, teens benefit immensely from the loving guidance of an adoptive parent. From learning to drive to prom and job hunting, teenagers’ unique experiences and challenges are what memories are made of.

The Unique Process of Teen Adoption

Consent is Key

Unlike babies, older children and teenagers must consent to being adopted. Unlike in an infant adoption, both the prospective parents and the adoptee must agree to the adoption. In many states, the age of consent is 12 or 14, while in some it is as young as 10.

The teen adoption process consists of more than just paperwork. The adoptee must make a voluntary choice, and the adoption must be built on a caring partnership between the teen and the prospective parents. As a result, many older child adoptions begin with a preexisting relationship.

The “No-Pressure” Approach

The teen adoption process is also unique in that it can’t be rushed. Some older child adoptions begin as relationships between a teen and their mentor, sponsor, or advocate. Other parents who end up adopting a teenager often do so after fostering the youth for months or even years. Over time, the parents and foster youth develop a strong bond and a genuine connection. If the teen’s biological parents’ rights are terminated, the natural next step is for the foster parents to pursue legal adoption.

Parenting a Teen with Trauma

Understanding Survival Behaviors

Many teens in the foster care system come from traumatic backgrounds, with histories of neglect and abuse. While a loving adoptive home gives them the best chance at success in life, parenting a teenager with trauma can be challenging for everyone involved.

Some teens demonstrate survival behaviors that may seem bewildering to parents. Defiance, detachment, and hostility can strain the limits of an already complex relationship. However, many of these behaviors stem from fear of loss or rejection. A teen may test you to see if you’re going to abandon them as others have done in the past.

Fortunately, the right parenting techniques can help you build the trust and security any family needs to succeed.

Building Trust Over Time

Trust can’t be taken for granted when you’re adopting a teen from foster care. For young people who have experienced trauma and loss, building trust takes time, and a great deal of patience on the parent’s part. Trauma-informed parenting techniques emphasize collaboration and understanding, and they’re often part of mandatory foster parent training.

Resources and Support for Teen Adoption

Financial Assistance for College

There are a variety of federal and state resources for former foster youth who are interested in higher education. One option is the Education and Training Voucher (ETV) program, which serves teens who were adopted from foster care at or over the age of 16. The ETV program provides up to $5,000 a year toward college tuition or vocational training.

Former foster kids who were adopted after turning 13 are eligible to claim independent status on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). This means that they do not need to provide their family’s income status, and are more likely to receive federal financial aid.

In addition, many state colleges and universities offer tuition waivers and scholarships for applicants who were adopted from foster care. These differ among states and individual institutions.

Medicaid and Counseling

While specifics vary from state to state, foster youth often continue receiving Medicare benefits and adoption subsidies until they are 18 or 21. An adoption subsidy is a monthly payment meant to help cover the costs of caring for children with special needs, such as therapy and medical equipment. Some states categorize all foster teens as special needs, simply because they are harder to place for adoption than younger children.

Adopting a teenager is a challenging yet rewarding path that allows you to make a direct, positive impact on a young person’s life. For many teens in foster care, safety, security, and the love of a supportive family can be the ticket to a successful adult life. By adopting an older child or teenager, you can change a life and elevate a future.

Sources

Accessed on April 2, 2026. https://adoptioncouncil.org/article/foster-care-and-adoption-statistics/
Accessed on April 2, 2026. https://www.aecf.org/blog/what-happens-to-youth-aging-out-of-foster-care
Accessed on April 4, 2026. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S019074092400392X