We have a very unique and special adoption situation. My husband and I adopted my youngest sister’s baby. She decided early in her pregnancy that she was too young, and felt that she would not be able to provide for her baby in the way she would like to.
When my parents told us that she wanted to place the baby for adoption, we immediately said we would adopt him! We have one six-year-old biological child, and had been talking about having another baby soon. Without knowing about our offer, she asked my parents if they thought we might be interested in adopting the baby, and so the plans were set.
My sister and I are very close, even though there is a 13 year age gap between us. We talked about our feelings, and the future, and how we would handle situations that come up in the future. I went with her to her doctor appointments. My husband, daughter, and I rushed to the hospital to be there for the delivery when she went into labor! It was beautiful. She asked me if she could breastfeed him at the hospital—this was her way to help contribute to his healthy start. I knew it would make it hard for her to part with him, but she showed the most courage and strength I have ever seen someone have!
The day we brought him home was really emotional. I felt as thought I was stealing this perfect child, but she told us “he is a gift.” And she is right! We have an open adoption. She and the birth father visit three or four times a month. In fact we all spent Christmas together, including his biological grandmother (birth father’s mother). We have also met his biological great-grandmother. It is like a really neat extended family.
I cannot predict the future, but so far this has been wonderful. I think the key to a successful open adoption is keeping in mind what is the best for the child.
To all birth mothers, I commend you for having the courage to choose a life for your child that you cannot provide at a given moment. It is with the utmost love and unselfishness that such a decision is made. Our son will never have to question where he came from, or if his birth parents loved him! He will always know!
