My twin sister and I were very fortunate to be adopted together. My biological mother struggled with addiction and she knew she couldn’t care for us when we were born, so we were placed with an amazing foster family for 4 years before getting adopted before our 5th birthday. My twin and I were almost split up because my sister had autism and some potential adoptive parents didn’t feel ready to care for a child with special needs. Thankfully, my twin and I were adopted together and I could never picture a life without her in it! Raising twins can be twice the challenge, but also twice the blessing. Perhaps you’re thinking about adopting twins or have questions about it. What do you need to consider when adopting a set of twins?
The Odds of Adopting a Set of Twins
Twin births are rare and even more so when it comes to adopting a set of twins from an adoption agency—and even more so when it comes to domestic infant adoption. With every 3 of 100 births being twins, the odds of adopting twins are slim but not impossible! The odds of adopting identical twins are even more rare; you have a higher chance of adopting twins through foster care.
Double the Finances
Your financial situation and income will also be determining factors when adopting twins. You need to prove that you have stable employment or a stable income and prove that you’re capable of providing everything that the children will need like food, clothing, shelter, and transportation. It’s a must to look at your finances fully and see if you can take on the financial challenges before considering adopting twins. Another thing to consider is the court proceedings and paperwork filing.
Twice the Paperwork
Children waiting to be adopted are seen individually, and this is no different when it comes to adopting twins. The paperwork that you need to consider is the adoption request forms, the home study, background checks for each member of your household, court fees, the agency paperwork if you’re going through an adoption agency, the post-adoption paperwork, and childcare paperwork if you need childcare while you’re at work.
Double the Childcare
Caring for twins can be a challenge in itself, so considering the possibility of childcare is something important to consider. Whether you’re thinking about being a stay-at-home parent, asking family members to babysit, hiring a nanny, or enrolling twins in daycare, you have to think about what will be manageable for your family. Parenting twins can take a lot of energy, so make sure you take time to care for yourself and have the resources and space to do so.
Double the Space
Depending on your state’s laws, the age, and the gender of your children, you may have separate rooms or have them share a room. During the home study, the adoption social worker will examine your home for safety; you can always talk to the social worker about what to expect for the home visit. If you decide that the children share a room, they’ll need their beds, sheets, blankets, and space for their belongings. It also helps to keep in mind when the children get older. They might ask for a separate room in case conflict arises like fighting over belongings, keeping a messy room tidy, sleep disturbances, intrusion from the other twin, and loud or quiet activities. There are positives to the children sharing a room like the feeling close and secure to one another in a new home, bonding and cooperating in a shared space, and showing respect for one another’s belongings.
If you decide the children have a separate room, the twin’s room should have the same amount of space if possible. The positives having their own room are that they have their own privacy, a space they can call their own, not have to worry about interrupting their twin’s space, and they can learn independent skills. The possible downside to the twins having their own room could be that they’ll feel alienated, have night terrors from being separated, and they might feel like their twin doesn’t want to have them around.
You can make sure the twins have a close bond by having them share space in the family areas where they can play together, in the kitchen where they can sit and eat beside each other, in the backyard where they can explore and run around with each other, and have a bedtime routine that they can enjoy together.
Double the Blessings
While it’s twice the work with twins, there’s also twice the blessings! You get to see firsthand the close relationship that the children have with one another, experience twice the love, and support them in strengthening the twin bond by opening your home and heart to adopting them together. While they are twins, you must treat them as individuals and praise their individuality. They’ll feel appreciative that you take the time to get to know them as individual children instead of always being known as “the twins” as they’ll hear that all through their lives from family, teachers, and even friend groups.
As you enter this new and unique chapter of parenthood, you’ll watch your children grow up side by side as they develop their own personalities and identities. You’ll see the twins care for one another and strengthen their sibling bond. Most of all, you’ll feel the comfort of knowing that your children will always have each other in their lives.
