Jason was extremely sick in an addiction when he became a birth father. When he heard that he would be a father, he was shocked and even in denial. Jason did everything he could to avoid responsibility and to ignore the “problem.” But deep down, he knew it was real. Being emotionally immature, scared, and self-absorbed in his own situation, Jason did what he could to put it all on the back burner.
At some point during the pregnancy, the birth mother approached him about placing the child for adoption. For the first time since hearing the news about the pregnancy, Jason felt some amount of peace. Yes, he was still trying to avoid the problem, but now he turned some of his thoughts to the unborn child. He was in no condition to care for the child himself and he was grateful for the birth mother’s decision, knowing she had the child’s best interest in mind.
Although the birth mother pretty much carried the weight of pregnancy and adoption alone, Jason was given the opportunity to meet the family she chose for the baby. Joining the couple and their 5-year-old adopted daughter for dinner, Jason’s peace multiplied as he watched their interactions and felt of their spirits and characters. This was a family that would be perfect for his son. Jason began to look at life differently. He started to see beyond himself and found a seed of desire to become better.
In an open adoption, Jason has been blessed to watch his son grow and to nurture a relationship with his son’s family. His love and gratitude for all of them continues to deepen. And Jason is essentially a new man. He attributes becoming a birth father with the success he’s had in turning his life around. “As painful as [becoming a birth father] was, it would have been much more painful to not do the right thing for my child,” says Jason to other potential birth fathers. “The birth of my son and placing him for adoption out of love and respect for him was the experience that I needed—the experience that gave me motivation to turn my life around. That beautiful experience was what it took for me.” The night Jason’s son was born became an introspective time for him. He wrote a letter to his son that very night and promised him that he would become the birth father he deserved to have and that he would be an example to him throughout his life. “For the first time, I had a real reason to change.” For Jason, adoption and becoming a birth father has been a sacred experience.
Jason has felt not just a desire, but even a pull to be an advocate for adoption and a voice for birth fathers. He shares his innermost feelings on his blog. Also an advocate for addicts seeking recovery, Jason’s passion is to help their families learn how to influence them and get results. Jason’s book will be another resource for family members suffering with addiction in the home. Register here for news about the book release.
