So, you’ve decided to adopt and want to share your journey with friends and family (and maybe strangers too) on a blog. I love adoption. And blogging. I’ve written a ton about adoption over the past six years, and have shared parts of both of my adoption journeys on my blog. Here are three things to consider if you are just starting out:
Adoption stories have lots of voices.
Adoptive parents (and hopeful adoptive parents) sometimes seem to shout the loudest on the internet. We share our stories with enthusiasm and joy, sometimes glossing over the tough parts or omitting them completely. It’s important to remember that your story is valid and important, but it is not the only voice in adoption. Consider having adult adoptees and birth family members guest post on your blog to share their perspectives. At the very least, keep in mind (and perhaps remind your readers) that your voice is one of many along the journey to adoption.
Think about your child’s privacy.
Perhaps you haven’t met your child yet. Or maybe she is curled up in the crib beside you as you type away. In your sweet infatuation, you want to share every detail. Take a minute to think twice. Why do you want to share this story? Is it for you to be able to remember every second, every adorable coo? If so, you might want to think about an actual paper journal (or an unshared file on your computer). Go ahead and pour your heart out without wondering whether your child will be ok with this or that detail being shared publicly. Do you want to share every step of your journey with friends and family who live in different places? Consider a shared document or a password protected blog. That way you have a little control over who is accessing your writing.
Still want to write a public blog to chronicle your journey? Go ahead! Just remember that the details of your child’s story are her or his own to share, not yours. Think carefully about how to share your story without exposing details that truly should belong to your child.
The internet is forever.
That adorable infant will grow into a precocious child and then a sassy pre-teen who is concerned about her image (in real life and online). That’s as far as my parenting journey has taken me (I’m buckling up for the ride through adolescence), but it’s far enough to make me glad that I’ve never posted my children’s names or identifying photos online with my story of their adoptions. It’s far enough to make me glad that I sorted carefully through what I believe to be the details of my adoption journey and what I believe to be the details of my children’s stories. I’m sure I didn’t do it perfectly. But I did do it thoughtfully. And hopefully, when my kids stumble across my blog someday, that will count for something.
What would you add? What should adoptive parents consider before starting to blog their adoption journey?