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22 hours ago
I just turned 18. I’m from Philippines, my parents separated when I was 9 and ever since that day I’m always alone. I live with different relatives and trust me I was never welcome. I want a family who will accept and love unconditionally and I will do the same. I’m good with house chores and I can cook. I’m college right now and supposedly going to graduate next year but sadly my mom stopped supporting me and my dad did nothing after their separation. I really want to finish my study, I’m not that bright but I really want to. Pleasee anyone help me. After I graduate and hopefully find a stable job I’m willing to pay back for your support. Our country doesn’t support student loan. At night I pray that someone, a family will take me into their care because I’m living alone right now in a dormitory. I’m looking for a job but since I just turned 18 and undergrad it’s really difficult. Thank you so much.

February 15, 2018
Two years ago I stood in St Peters Square surrounded by one hundred thousand people to witness the canonization of the Saint of the Gutters. The atmosphere was electric, palpable, and as Pope Francis pronounced her a Saint, I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes. It was a very special moment, not just because here we were witnessing something momentous, but because, Mother Teresa has personally touched me and my family. Those ripples she talks about in the quote above, well one of them was me. Let me tell you my story. I must been about six years old when I first met Mother Teresa and visited Sishu Bhavan in Calcutta. Though the memory is now clouded, the visit left a big imprint, so much so that I was drawn back frequently. Initially I would beg my parents to take me back there whenever we transited through Calcutta. As I grew older and we moved around, we always found a Mother Teresa home close by to visit. The habit continued even when I left home to join university. You see, the big attraction was the babies. I was born with an inherent gene that made me hopelessly madly in love with babies. And so I could spend hours there, helping feed them, or carry them or just watch other people feed and carry them and I would be contented. My heart would bleed to think that here were babies who were abandoned and if I thought I could have gotten away with it, I would have happily smuggled some of them home. But of course I knew I couldn’t. Instead I decided that as soon as I could, I would adopt a baby. I must say here though, that yes, initially it was all about the babies, but later it was also about so much more. Mother Teresa’s example of selfless love and service to humanity touched my family to a great extent. My parents themselves were altruistic and we grew up watching, learning and soon practicing ourselves, just how to live our faith and give back to the community with our time or whatever other resources we had to share. Well, I grew up, like most little girls do. Many other childhood dreams and ambitions were forgotten or deemed silly, but this one desire kept burning bright. In my final year of university, I met my prince charming and quite soon into our relationship I dragged him one Saturday afternoon to spend time with the babies. He was a trooper. He got that this was a big deal to me. Over the next few years we talked about adoption a lot. He listened patiently, asked questions and brought up concerns. But my battle plans were drawn and I was well prepared with facts and testimonies. I took him to more orphanages and adoption workshops. I read him excerpts of books. I knew one hundred percent that we could love a child we had not conceived as much as one that had grown in my belly. To be honest though, he didn’t need much convincing. We made a pact. We would have biological children, and adopt one too. We had our first child a year after getting married and the pregnancy and parenthood was everything and more than we had imagined. Life was perfect. We treasured each milestone and enjoyed watching our first born grow. Around the time she started school we knew the time had come to plan for baby number two. We began the initial paperwork required for adoption and the wait began. Though shorter, it was every bit as exciting as the nine months of pregnancy. We looked for names and prepared our families and friends. Our immediate families were very supportive but we did meet with many who asked, “But why, when you have your own?” Most often we just smiled and just said “Because we want to”. And so at 28, my lifelong dream came true and on July 27th 2003, we brought Ryeika Teresa, all of two months old, into our hearts and lives. As I held her that first time, the tears flowed freely. We looked at her angelic face, the sparkling eyes and felt such a gut wrenching tug of emotion (the good kind). We were so blessed to have been given the honor of being her parents. Her name Ryeika means ‘unique’ and Teresa is for the little bent lady, the one in the blue and white sari who held hundreds of babies in her arms, who fought for their right to live. She believed that they were all, each and every one of them a gift from God. In the next couple of years we went on to have two more biological children and today I am the proud mother of four girls. Life is full, I am blessed and the circle of life continues. I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to attend the canonization ceremony with my husband and our four girls. I feel blessed that Ryeika was able to witness the person who inspired her parents, who delivered her into our hearts, be proclaimed a Saint. I have read some disheartening articles in the media recently criticizing Mother Teresa. While I cannot but agree that perhaps some of her practices were outdated and her dogma could be perceived as harsh, the simple truth is that she helped scores and scores of people. She gave dignity to the dying. She set up hospitals and schools in areas of the world where life has little value, and built safe havens for babies of unwed mothers or women who, because of poverty or other circumstances had to leave their children at her doorstep. I have seen personally how the nuns from her order look after the aged, the sick, the HIV positive, the children with deformities and I wonder, if they did not do it, then who? I have met so many of her nuns, Europeans, Americans, Asians, Africans; brilliant, well educated, charismatic women, who could have had great careers and the world at their feet. And yet they chose to give up all that and wear the blue and white, dedicating their lives to service and simplicity of a whole different kind. And the beauty about them was that they were all so happy and contented. In spite of tough conditions and bone tiring work, they were always cheerful. I till date have never met a grumpy Mother Teresa nun. So perhaps more than all the work and charity and selfless giving that Mother Teresa did, day in and day out, what marks her for sainthood, is the influence she has had on a plethora of people. People who, inspired by her example, were prompted to go out and make a difference, be kind, lend a ear, pray or do a little bit of charity and change somebody’s life in whatever small way. The ripples....some small, some big, but all so very significant. Saint Teresa of Calcutta, yes you cast the stone across the waters. So glad one ripple touched me. You inspired me. You touched my life. Thank You. To read our full adoption story, pick up my personal memoir, now out on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Little-Girls-Dream-Letter-Daughter-ebook/dp/B0785S5HL8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1518092023&sr=8-1&keywords=sanchita+lobo #adoption #special needs

February 14, 2018
Hey i am 15 yr old from india my name Is danley my parents don't love me they treats me like a outsider and my whole family hates me and they are not allowing me toursue my education is ant to complete my education and a loving parent I will always bea good son

February 5, 2018
[img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/02/20e54628b87ad51253f41a78e991ce96_view.jpg[/img] S E L F - L O V E  C H A L L E N G E | 💛 What if you Simply Devoted this Month to Self Love? It's February and Valentine's Day is just right around the corner. If I can be entirely honest with you, I used to be that girl who would envy the couples in relationships when this day came around every year. Comparing myself to the women around me and wondering "how did she end up with a man like him?" -- even worse wondering what was wrong with me and why no one wanted me? On the outside I was protruding with what I call "fake confidence".  Deep down I was insecure with high expectations on everyone else including myself. Not proud of this side of me, however this is who I am. As much as I want to take credit about the woman I am today, I must honor the woman I was that got me here.   I've recently come to terms with being accepting of the past, present, and future self. I've committed to never abandon myself - yes, even through the most cringe-worthy moments of embarrassment, to the most emotional and hardest days. To all the bad relationships and to the psycho crazy b***** that would come out while on my emotional roller coaster rides. Yeah... Not a pretty sight.  Prior to placing my son, Austin for adoption and for a little while after - I played pretend often and I was SO good at it!  Ask any of my acquaintances or the people I've worked with -- I had this know it all, egotistic, attitude that carried me in my career. I played fantasy football and won just so that I can fit in with the boys - I didn't even LIKE football. I would roll my eyes hard wondering why the person I was training couldn't grasp what I was teaching for the millionth time. I was judging BIG TIME.  How did I get from being a know-it-all to admitting that I don't know anything at all. Egotistic and self-centered to being an empathetic and compassionate person who is embarking on this journey committing to being and making a difference in the world? The answer is Self-love. Yes, it sounds contradicting - to focus more on you to be less self centered? You can go to as many massages, exercising classes, go to get that mani/pedi, eat well, and other external options as you want but the truth is that self- love is an inside job.  What does that mean? Take a moment and listen to your thoughts, How do you talk to yourself? What kinds of expectations do you have on other people? Chances are those are the same expectations that you have on yourself.  Who do you judge and what are you judging them for? When you judge other people, you're really judging yourself.  How can you become more of an empathetic and compassionate human being? You start by being empathetic and compassionate with yourself. To approve and accept yourself just as you are and not have the need to be anything else. When you create space for yourself to be okay when you fail, make mistakes, and be imperfect - You unconsciously create that same space for others.  Whatever rules and person you have carved yourself out to be or having to be - realize that you have a choice to be who you want to be and that you can change your identity.   In my recent instagram post, I talked about my struggle with being alone. Loneliness was a constant unwanted feeling and at times I found myself desperate for companionship, which resulted in many bad relationships and decisions. I was looking for love in all the wrong places and from all the wrong people. After many failed relationships, I finally asked myself “What if it’s me?” “Why am I attracting these type of men into my life?”. The love I desperately needed was the LOVE WITHIN MYSELF. ❤️ My colleague once asked me "will anyone ever be good enough for you?" I was forced to take a hard look at myself and asked If I was ever going to be good enough for myself?    These days I appreciate my own company and have found joy, liberation, and freedom from being single. I wholeheartedly enjoy my time being alone, in my space, and connecting with my inner being. Does it mean that I am cured and always loving to myself? HELL NO. Self-love and self-care is an ongoing practice, its the little things you do for yourself to keep centered.  I buy myself flowers every week. Why wait for someone else to give me what I want? Instead I give myself what I want and need. Sometimes self love means drawing boundaries and saying no to the things you don't want to do and saying yes to the things you desperately need.  To be okay with taking a day off from your day to day madness. To cancel on friends or previous commitment when you're tired. To be forgiving to yourself when you forget to do something you were supposed to do. To allow yourself to be free from having to be perfect and collected everyday.  January was a hard month, I struggled so much getting through it. It was my son's 3rd birthday and I was unable to see him. In honor of his 3rd birthday I launched Modern Birth Mom, the nonprofit. I've since reminded myself that in order for me to continue giving and helping others I first need to take care of myself and so for the month of February I am devoting this month to self-love and self care. I have a number of women who have committed and joining me on this challenge.  The most important relationship is the relationship between you and yourself.  Self-Love has and continues to save me from myself. At times I can be very hard on myself and become my very own worst enemy and there are days when I don’t like the person that I am.  I already know that by giving myself the things that I need to fill my tanks up so that I can step into being the person I want to be for others. I must take action to put myself in a more centered place.  Anyone else up for the Self Love Challenge? Rules are simple. Keep loving on yourself and do one thing each day that  lights you up, fills your tanks up, makes you laugh, and that creates joy and happiness. 💖 Wake up every day and answer this question. "How can you love yourself more today?"  ------------------------------------------------ Modern Birth Mom (MBM) is a collective group of birth mothers & adoption advocates united to inspire birth mothers to live their best lives and help others do the same after placement. We are here to create support systems that empower birth mothers to reach their potential, and turn their life experiences into fuel to achieve their dreams. MODERN BIRTH MOM Non- Profit Organization www.modernbirthmom.org We have a Valentines Day Special Workshop on February 11, 6pm Pacific Time for Birth Mothers. Whether you are in a relationship, single, or in a complicated situation. This workshop will be an opportunity for you to connect with other birth mothers to give or receive advice about self love, relationships, and dating again after placement.   Lastly, I've recently posted an Affirmations & Mantras booklet designed for birth mothers in the Modern Birth Mom Facebook Group. MBM Facebook Community Group : https://www.facebook.com/groups/129938464368577 [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/02/2bad720c668ec4b52283762042f2d20b_view.jpg[/img]

February 5, 2018
[img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/02/497bc99f7814d5b699431e84239f6b9d_view.jpg[/img] ​Picture: My son Austin and I, December 2016. ​​Inside a restroom stall on my 25th birthday, I stood in shocked staring at the two sticks both marked "positive". The world stood still as my mind raced in every direction. My life as I knew it was over. I thought I did everything "the right way": Graduated university with a bachelors degree in finance, landed a fortune 250 corporate job prior to graduation, I was enrolled in studying to be a U.S. Licensed Customs Broker, & working in my dream industry of international business. I had a huge ego, traveled for work, and flew in business class internationally. I resided in Long Beach, CA in my own 1 bedroom apartment with my cat - two blocks away from the ocean. I had just gotten back to Los Angeles from back to back weekend trips: running a 13.1 miles (half marathon) in Nashville, partied until 5 am in Chicago, bachelorette party in Vegas, a business trip in Dallas, and a wedding in San Diego. I worked out 6x per week and was in the best shape of my life. At the time, this was my definition of living the life of my dreams as a 25 year old.  The next day, I found myself at Planned Parenthood & confirmed that I was indeed pregnant - 9 weeks along. The nurse lectured me as if I was a mother in trouble & I was told that my window to decide was getting shorter by the minute.  I called my mother, who was living internationally, to break the news to her and I had asked her for help. She said no, cried hysterically, and begged me to abort. The birth father and I had just broken up over a month ago and our future together was non-negotiable.  Walking into Planned Parenthood, I had every intention to abort, however the moment I saw him swimming around in the ultrasound display, I knew there was a soul, and I just could not find it in me to follow through. I chose to give life & so the next 7 months consisted of uncertainty, the whole adoption process, emotional (hormonal) roller-coaster rides, & of course a baby growing inside. As a 25 year old, I had extremely high expectations of myself compared to the average person. The backlash with high self-expectations is that there is no amount of validation to ever make me feel like I was enough. Without a shadow of a doubt, I knew that I could've raised him on my own. This is the part where most people disagree with my decision. I've heard every opinion and judgment possible. I've been called names and accused of a number of things. I have been told that I should be ashamed of myself. My father ignored me for an entire year after placement. My favorite is when a colleague said "Aww, you should've given me the baby, I would've taken him". - As if my son was an object and as if you are qualified to be his mother.  What I learned through this process was how to tune out the world and to listen to my own voice and intuition.  The truth is that I wanted him to have an extraordinary life. I wanted older parents with life experience walking down the different paths of life, siblings so that he won't be lonely, and pets because I was not allowed to have them growing up. I wanted parents with masters degrees and financial stability to place him in Montessori school because I disliked daycare. Religion was important as long as it was non-extremist. The most important quality to me was Time. Time was the deal breaker because it was my love language and the type of love I craved most from my parents growing up. I was born to immigrants who became entrepreneurs. My parents both ran their own businesses, worked around the clock, and rarely had any time to spend with us. Gifts and money was their expressions of love. I knew as a single mother I would be forced to do the same to my son. I knew I would take my anger and resentment out on him the way my parents did with us. I knew he deserved more than what I could give him.  The adoption agency sent me stacks and stacks of waiting family profiles. I turned them all down and came up with my list of requirements and told them that if they could not find me a family that matched - I would raise him myself. Sure enough that was when I met Mark, Sarah, & Reagan (Older Sister).  When I was 7 months along, I flew out to visit the family. I wanted to meet their friends, check out the neighborhood, the schools, and basically see what day-to-day life meant in their household. Mark & Sarah had two disrupted adoptions prior to meeting me. I had built a solid relationship with the family. Because I was able to experience and see the environment that my son would be growing up with, it gave me a tremendous amount of closure and ease. The hardest moment of my life was walking out of the hospital without my baby. Months of crying myself to sleep later, I grew the courage to let go & trust the journey. For the past 3 years, I’ve spent my days obsessing over ways to nurture my soul & to heal myself. Over 100+ self-help books later, countless seminars, courses, & certifications resulted in finding more calm & peace than most people do in a lifetime. Initially, I thought I was giving him the gift of life. Now having gone through it, I came to realize that being a birth mom has been my grace. The hardships, misfortunes, & life lessons that we overcome... they become our life's purpose, mission, & journey.   My dreams have since changed and I am still living it. If I could go back and do it over again, I wouldn't have it any other way.  ------------------------------------------------ Modern Birth Mom (MBM) is a collective group of birth mothers & adoption advocates united to inspire birth mothers to live their best lives and help others do the same after placement. We are here to create support systems that empower birth mothers to reach their potential, and turn their life experiences into fuel to achieve their dreams. MODERN BIRTH MOM Non- Profit Organization www.modernbirthmom.org

Michelle MadridBranch
February 2, 2018
I am an explorer. As an adoptee, I have explored the depths of my soul to find a meaning to the earliest parts of my history. I have ventured out, and within, to seek unknown parts of myself. I have tracked many a mile to uncover my identity and to dismantle the titles given to me by others. Titles that did not serve me in a positive life outcome. I believe that all adoptees are explorers. In some way, we are all searching, seeking, and looking for answers to who we are and why we’re here. We’re trackers of truth. At some moment in our lives, a severing took place that catapulted us into a situation we had no control over. Free falling — or so it seemed — we landed into lives that we were not born of, but were destined for. Earlier worlds unravel and somewhere in our distant minds, our first families are kept as a memory. Reunion, or the thought of reunification, gets stored in a mental file called fantasy. A place where we probe the “what if” of someday reconnecting with birth family. Sometimes, fantasy becomes reality and we find ourselves face-to-face with that unraveled world. A world that — on some level — unnerves us and, at the same time, delights our senses. Might someone, connected to us by DNA, offer us the gift of coloring in all those pieces of ourselves left blank? Could members of our birth family fill in the holes within us left hollow by abandonment? Secretly, we hope so. And, quietly, we pray. I did. I prayed, and I hoped. For years, I wanted someone to help me understand the mystery of my story — a mystery that held me distant from myself. Therefore, I put much stock into the idea of a reunion as a vehicle to aide me in arriving at my truth. And, so I wrote a letter while in my teens. It was addressed to my birthmother in England. I did not have her physical address — only her name. I sent the letter to the main office of the Royal Air Force, where I knew that my mum’s husband once served. The letter began something like this: If you have opened this envelope, I want to say thank you. If you are reading my words, I want you to promise not to throw this letter away. You see, I need an angel right now… I went on to briefly explain my situation and the story of my earliest life. I wrote how desperately I needed to find my birthmother in order to reunite and, as was my prayer, to heal what had been broken inside. Read more: http://michellemadridbranch.com/reuniting-worlds-one-adoptees-thoughts-on-birth-family-reunification/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/02/49a3eb61bc69e5de238f5f965e9e11bc_view.jpg[/img]

Michelle MadridBranch
January 24, 2018
Michelle: Was adoption something that was always on your heart, Rachel? Or was there a moment, or experience that you recall that awakened you to this form of family building? Rachel: I’ve always worked with kids and loved kids. I worked as a nanny, at a day care… I was a writing camp counselor. I babysat friend’s kids, always for fun, never for pay. I just love being around children, so I think I always knew we were going to have children, but I didn’t do a lot of planning on how that was going to happen, just because I was finishing my college degree, and then we got married. I got married when I was twenty one. About four or five years into our marriage, we started thinking about having kids. At that point, the big thing happened. I had been sick for about a year and a half and I went to five different medical professionals and no one could figure out what was wrong with me. I was misdiagnosed with anorexia, and being a hypochondriac, and I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease when I entered into a state called, diabetic ketoacidosis. My body was shutting down. Multiple doctors came into my room and said, “I don’t know how you are alive, this is a miracle.” And I knew in that moment—because I knew that Type 1 could make a pregnancy potentially dangerous—that we would choose adoption. Now, my husband wasn’t on board yet, but I was like, “This is what we are doing.” Adoption is a really difficult decision for a lot of people, it was not for me. I just knew. Read the full interview, here: http://michellemadridbranch.com/interview-with-author-adoptive-mother-rachel-garlinghouse/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/01/d430366a77b98ed0709fce03e2b8d48b_view.png[/img]

January 11, 2018
Hello I am currently 22...I was adopted from Russia when I was a year and a half! I would really like to find my birth parents!! Any suggestions or people I could call?! Thanks

January 9, 2018
HELLO I M LOOKING FOR MY TWIN SISTER. WE WHERE BORN IN ROMANIA BUCHAREST ON 10 OF JUNE 1985 ON FILANTROPIA HOSPITAL CAN SOMEWONE HELP PLEASE. THANK YOU[img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/01/ee9bdf722108afa2aa073a678625d260_view.jpg[/img]

January 8, 2018
This is my first blog/post. I'm new to this group. I'm not American, but I hope to heal by taking my first step and here I am. I'm not sure how this works, or will work, but I do have a goal - I hope to start a Facebook group to support the people in my area so I'm hoping to learn a thing or two from Adoption.com. Here's my story - in brief - because we can all write a book about our own lives, so. I was adopted when I was a baby. I was raised by a beautiful family, I was only told I was adopted when I was 18. When I was told so, it wasn't under any normal circumstances. I was told I was adopted when I was pregnant with my firstborn - I was assaulted by my boyfriend and he knocked me up - and left me to rot. I decided to put my daughter up for adoption because I couldn't give her anything good, let alone a home. This was in 2001. Fast forward to 2017, she was told that she was adopted. And then she found me. It was a closed adoption, but she found me, her parents found me, for her. Our story isn't unique, but it can be empowering to some. There are so many emotional and mental rollercoasters that we've both went through. It's too difficult to write them all unless I decide to be a hermit and start writing a book about it to help people like me, like her. I was wondering if anyone could advise me what do I need to do if I were to start a local association or a help group of any sort to bring together people like me or the wonderful parents who've adopted my daughter, together. Often times, we feel trapped because we have no one but online strangers to talk to. But I hope to change that in my community, or even country. I want to help. Thank you for listening.