May 27, 2020
When I was 17 and a senior in high school my girlfriend (same age and grade) got pregnant. We were both so scared and had no idea how to approach such a grown-up situation with our adolescent minds and problem solving skills. The back and forth we went through, the indecision and agony we went through over what to do sticks with me to this day. I'm 34 now and my bio-daughter will be 17 on the 20th of December. Sophie, wherever you are out there, I want you to know I think about you everyday and love you so dearly. My greatest hope is that you are healthy, safe and happy. My one wish and prayer for myself in this lifetime is that I meet you one day. And Elaine, sweet Elaine. I loved you more than heaven and earth. Wherever you are, I hope you are happy. You made me feel like the luckiest person in the world whenever I was with you. You had the innate ability to make every little rotten thing in life feel like it was going to be okay. No matter where I go in this life, whatever comes to pass, I will always, always, carry a room for you in my heart.

April 25, 2020
Hi there, I'm new here but I've read quite a few posts and they've helped a ton. Not all have answered all of my questions so I thought I'd just ask my own. A little back story, my husband and I were married for 5 year and had tried every route of fertility treatment in our means. My sister in law text my husband and asked to barrow money. (She did not know yet the doctor had just 3 days prior confirmed there was no physical way I would ever conceive on my own or carry a baby past 12 weeks.) He asked her for what and she said for an abortion. She had 2 other kids that she was barely able to take care of and knew she couldn't add another with the father abandoning her the second she told him she was pregnant. We didn't reply right away as that was very painful for us to even imagine helping with just being given the news from the doctor. A day or 2 later, she calls and says she had talked to my mother in law and was wondering if we'd like to adopt the baby and have her and her kids live with us so we could be involved through the whole pregnancy and help her as well. Long story short we did and everything was amazing. Fast forward 5 years we told my daughter she was adopted but were suggested because of being a relative to wait until she asked to tell her who her bio parents were. So here we are to the reason for me joining and my post. My daughter is now 12, and because i.f a school project in genetics the question had arrived. We've for the last 5 years been estranged from my sister in law because of some major drug and lifestyle choices we are not supportive of and choose to be distant from. We're still in contact with my niece and nephew and to her, her cousins. My sister in law has recently told my niece and nephew that my daughter is their bio-sister and at their next chance to tell my daughter so she'll come running back to her and leave us because I'd the horrible people we are. We know that wont be the issue because with my daughter seeing how she lives and the choices she's made, she dispises her. We are planning to tell my daughter in ther next day or 2 because my niece wants a sleep over again and don't want this to be taken out on my niece but I want our daughter to hear and feel the news of her bio from us not her cousin. So the question, how do I start the conversation? I don't want to just: "Hey, the moon is huge tonight, by the way meme is your bio mom." How do I work into it? Also, we know who the bio- father is but have no contact but he's very active on Facebook, (because I check his page often) so I believe there could be contact if she wanted. There is also more sibling on that side as well. What reaction should I prepare for from her as well? I know everyone is different but a little insight would help my mind prepare as well. Please, any input would be very appreciated. Thank you so much.

April 23, 2020
This is my first time writing in this forum and my first attempt to verbalise what I'm feeling so please bear with me.. I am 36 and was placed in my adoptive home shortly after my 4th birthday and have always known and 'understood' the reasons for my adoption. After years of internal struggle, anxiety and depression I finally decided to actively find my biological parents and got my file from my local authority who handled my adoption. Fast forward a year and I actually stumbled across my half-sibling on Facebook which led to make contact with my only full sibling (I wasn't aware I had a full sibling) and another half sibling and both my biological parents. Some might say jackpot! After really positive reunions with all I looked forward to building relationships with them all, however after the initial meeting both parents have withdrawn. I have since developed an irrational anger, I understand having read my file, and spoken to my siblings, and in part to my biological parents about what happened. But I have this sense that I have been rejected again by them. I understand that they were unable to be parents when I was born, and I get they are still not able to be parents but I can't help the feeling that they should step up a bit more. I'm their child for all their declarations that they wanted me, loved me and wish that they had known me as a child etc etc but they just can't seem to think of me first. I'm a parent myself and I would give me last breath to protect my children or to tell them I loved them that last time. But even as grown adults 30+ years later they cant see past themselves. I know I should be grateful I had a wonderful childhood, an amazing husband and 2 beautiful children but why can't I shift this soul crushing anger and hurt? I want to move on, deal with the fact they don't want to be active in my life etc but it hurts, its like I wasn't enough to fight for as a child and I'm still not enough for them.. Am I stupid? Will I ever be able to just move past this? I find it hard to verbalise how I feel to my family, I try and my hubby almost gets it but there is just this sense that they just don't get it, am I making too much of this or am I justified in my feelings? I want to feel something other than deep routed anger, I feel I constantly have to squash the feeling down in fear it will all come out and people will look at me like I am mad! ***sorry for the rant!

Aileen Porter
March 29, 2020
I am new to this, so here goes! I am 43 years old and I am trying to find closure to this. According to my mother she never signed any papers to have me adopted. Unfortunately, my "so called father" I call him that because I have never met him but met his sisters who I thought were my aunts, are telling me that he never knew I was his etc..its alot of he said she said things. Obviously no one is going to tell me the truth but I need closure for myself regarding if I was legally adopted or was i just given away. and If that is the case then how could i be added to medical insurance by the family that raised me; I mean I have so many unanswered questions. I just want some type of help!! can someone guide me in the right direction. And not to mention I have chosen Family as my topic for my "multigenre research paper for school. So this is my own personal journey.

March 21, 2020
I am searching for the following Birth Father:Jack M. Toth 6821 il Regalo Circle Naples, FL 3410, Birth Grandparents:Angela and Jack Toth 3531 Creekview Drive Naples, FL 34134, Birth Aunt:Cheri and Mike Lewis 5736 Twin Lakes Ct. Westerville, OH 43082. Half Sibling: John Ross Toth and/or his mother Dee Dee Brown-Toth Texas? Just seeking some health and genetic information. All attempts I have made have gone without response. I was told by my birth mother, whom is now deceased, that the paternal family denies I exist.

March 1, 2020
Hello everyone, I’ve recently underwent a hysterectomy for endometrial cancer and have come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be able to have my own children. While I am still undecided about whether adoption is right for me, I feel I could help those parents in the process of international adoptions. I work as a flight attendant which means I have flight benefits which essentially means I can “fly for free.” With that being said I know adoption, especially internationally can be very costly. I know many countries require you to personally pick up your child and these flight costs can be very high. If it’s possible I would like to serve as a surrogate of sorts, in the role of picking up these babies and bringing them home to their new families. Does anyone know if this is a service I could legally offer or how to go about doing so?

February 14, 2020
I just wanted to share my story and hopefully it helps someone going through this scary similar process. I share a child with this man named (let’s call him) Gary. I got pregnant when I was very young and from the moment I had my child (let’s call him) Josh , I knew being a mother was the most important thing to me in the world. Gary and I fought constantly and sometimes unfortunately it would turn physical. You see it’s hard for me to say Gary actually ever cared about being a father, because to me it was more of a means to control me. I won’t bore you with our complicated past.. anyways after fighting in court and having his family hire an expensive attorney against me we had to come up with a parenting plan. Gary was to see Josh two days a week at his parents house and pay the lowest amount of child support possible. Gary also had to summit clean urine samples when the court asked because of his drug court orders. (Oh yes, he also has a drug and alcohol issue) . Anyways, Gary stopped coming to visits. Never paid one dime of his court ordered child support and moved to an other state without even notifying me. It has been over 6 years since Gary has had any communication with Josh. I happily got married a few years ago to a wonderful man who loves Josh as his own. So after hearing Gary had yet an other fail with his rehab I decided it was time to take action. I was terrified but knew it was the best thing to do for Josh. I hired an attorney and I suggested if you are going this rout you hire an experienced attorney with step parent adoption and TPRs. Also be prepared because it does get expensive, but completely worth it in the end. I knew Gary was not going to consent the adoption because he is a person that needs to be in control. He is all fine for someone else to raise his child and take care of him physically/emotionally/ and financially.. but in no way does that give them the write to be called his father (the world he lives in is a Delusional one). So we started the process back in February. It took a few weeks to find him because he did move to an other state but once he was served half the battle was already over with. Once he was served a hearing was scheduled. He had a little over 3 months to figure out how to come back to our state and hire an attorney of his own. In my case I was lucky... he put more effort to request to appear by phone than anything else. He never hired an attorney because people like Gary like to think that they are a lot smarter than what they really are. So hearing was in the beginning of April. My attorney was ready. The judge placed the phone call and that’s when the nerves over took me. It starts off by the judge swearing both parties in. Since Gary was representing himself he got to talk a lot more than I did. I was restricted to yes and no responses only and to be honest it drove me nuts. Gary went above and beyond. He blamed me for his drug and alcohol problems . He blamed me on why he moved (even though I hadn’t spoken to him years prior) He blamed me on why he never kept up with Josh. He even went as far to state he had given my child support checks, I would just never cash them, and if I did I would bunch them together and cash them all at once to make his account over draft. ( that made me sick to my stomach) I was being verbally attacked.. and every time my lawyer would try to interject.. she was over ruled. At that moment I was accepting defeat. I looked at my husband with tears filling up my eyes and at this point I had to try my hardest to toon out all the lies that were being said about me. I began to look at my attorney with eyes yelling at her saying DO SOMETHING!!!! Then the court room for quit. The judge looked our way and asked my attorney why this adoption was in the best interest for Josh. My attorney responded with state law facts on child abandonment in our state. She then focused on Josh’s relationship with my husband. How my husband has done all the work... so why can’t he receive the credit and honor of being his father. The judge asked Gary why Josh shouldn’t be adopted. This is where Gary shot himself in the foot. He began rambling on about how he takes full responsibility for not being there for Josh, but that at the end of the day it was my doing. He kept saying over and over again how he would do anything in the world for Josh and would even move back to the states and take Josh to see a child Psychologist to wein Gary into Josh’s life. At the point the judge then calmly asked him.... then why are you not here now? At that moment I felt like I could breathe again. For someone who had almost half a year to present evidence and make arrangements to attend an very important hearing .. he spent more time bad mouthing me and filing motions to appear by phone. When the judge overruled my lawyer he wasn’t doing to because he felt Gary was on to something, he did it because he was absorbing all the BS. He saw right through it. This is the very 1st time that this particular judge waved a biological fathers consent for stepparent adoption. I was in complete shock. The judge even went as far to thank my husband for everything he has done and he feels that Josh is better off having him as a father. At the end of the day we met all the requirements for child abandonment. Despite Gary saying he was ready now to be a dad.. he was 6 years too late. Hope this story helps someone in a similar situation. And remember at the end of the day all these judges care about is what’s best for the child. I’m not saying that only because we won. Watching my judge actually Absorbing every single word that was said and giving us a change to explain why both parties feel their position is best for the child meant everything. It’s hard to listen to the terrible things the other parent will say about you.. but remember none of that matters and the more reserve you are, the better for you and your child. Best of luck.

February 4, 2020
I have been on the search for the last year for my dad’s lost biological family. Some think I’m too late, but I’m not giving up hope. I’m searching for my dad’s biological mother which would be my grandmother. The original birth certificate had her name as Eleanor Gordon and my dad’s as Baby Boy Gordon. He was born with red hair, green eyes, and fair skin. I’m coming with the conclusion that her name was a fake, or her first name was fake. She was from Decatur, IL and went to Springfield, IL at around 4 months along to stay at St. Monica’s for unwed mothers to finish out her pregnancy. At the time, it was 1958 and she was 18 years of age just finished high school. We don’t have her birthday, but I’m guessing that she turned 18 years old prior to having my dad. She birthed him on September 23rd at St. John’s hospital and went straight to the Catholic Charities orphanage after birth. He stayed in the orphanage until he was around 3 months of age. We know very little about her features and health background that we got from the “non-identifying information.” We did get that she was around 5’7ft tall, dirty blonde hair and green eyes. She finished all 4 years of high school and some other little stuff. My dad’s biological dad I found with ancestry very easily, but sadly he passed around 5 years prior so I can’t reach out and ask him. It would’ve been interesting if I could’ve reached out to him since he had no idea about my dad and sadly never will. After a year of looking and searching, I’m coming to terms that someone put an alias name on the original birth certificate or altered something. Could someone help me out? If you were at St. Monica’s in 1958 or are from Decatur, IL and have some leads for me, I’d really appreciate it. I’m looking for her because I need more family medical history information and to know what I come from. History interest me, as well as knowing what I have coming to me as I get older. You can email me at . Meghan