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Tiffany Collins
March 27, 2021
So my boyfriend just found his adoptive mom and siblings. He’s been so excited and I really want to be excited with him. However, I’m really scared that he’s going to get hurt. He is sensitive and has ADHD. Ever since he’s found them he seems to be happy. Whenever he’s with me it seems that I bring him down... well his mood. He says I’m always fussing at him. I’m worried that he’s going to leave me if I’m not supportive, which I really am trying to be. Every time I try to talk to him he kind of snaps at me. We hardly talk anymore, it seems like he’s becoming more distant. Please tell me some good advice because I’m emotionally hurting.

Anna Horn
February 28, 2021
I was born in Swansea to a 16 year old single Jamaican girl. She tried her best to keep me but the system denied her any support or other options, so I was placed into care at three months of age. I was fostered and finally adopted by a very nice white middle class couple by the age of eighteen months, and settled into place as the youngest of three daughters, my elder sisters being their natural children . Located in South Wales Uk, swansea was a city where during the 1970's, the only black people that the local people had ever seen, were the blacked out faces of The Black and White Minstrel Show. If you're not from the UK, then you've probably never experienced the joy of Saturday evenings, when every family would be glued to the TV set, watching this craziness unfold before them... [[img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2021/02/eb7660098386350fa6f631ce9739f0e4_view.jpg[/img] That really summed up the level of cultural enlightenment during this era! My adopted parents loved me. They had spent some time in the Cameroons in East Africa, where my father had been stationed whilst he served as an officer in the Merchant Navy. Upon their return to Wales, they vowed to adopt a black child (My father was a Liberal haha). So after hanging their assortment of African memorabilia in prominent positions all over the house, and purchasing a handful of Calypso LPs (which my father would sing to me), they felt prepared to handle any obstacles that this adoption would throw their way over the following 18 years.... I am now 53, and I can honestly say that the primal wound of being separated from my birth mother, the resulting abondonment issues (that Donald Trump would be proud of), the relentless racist abuse during my childhood from my peers and total strangers, and the ongoing identity crisis have marred my entire adult life. It has been a work in progress, battling social anxiety, addiction and significant inner loneliness. My journey of self discovery has included being reunited with my birth mother (and being un-reunited), re-locating to London to find people that looked like me (I saw black people on the tube during a girl guides day trip to the Commonwealth Centre...), finding endless brothers and sisters...my father was a busy man evidently, finally, feelings of self-acceptance and understanding have begun to creep in...finally. During my journey, I have read some marvellous books, found some life-changing resources...and even learned to cook some West Indian food which my children adore. I've been blessed with four children, the youngest being an added gift as I adopted him from a relative in my adopted family. So I've seen both sides of the coin! I hope that the articles and experiences that I post, and any recommendations that I make, help any adopted people (transracially or otherwise), that see themselves mirrored in my story. I have created two Facebook groups so we can create a little safe haven and community. I've found it so exciting over the years, when I've met another adoptee. So many shared experiences! Please feel free to comment on any posts, join the FB group https://www.facebook.com/groups/www.interracialadoptees and share your thoughts and story with the rest of us. We've Found Our Tribe! Anna

February 26, 2021
Alcohol and drug addiction can become a major issue in life due to childhood trauma concerning abandonment. I never medaled with drugs or alcohol until I read my dhhr adoption file when I was around 40 years old and I literally went into a spiral down fall from there. The pain was and still is unbearable to the point I don't want to feel anymore.

January 29, 2021
My name is Annabelle Wadsworth Duncan I was born December 24, 2000 in Primorsky Krai, Vladivostok Russia. I was adopted in 2003 by my parents Doug and Elizabeth Duncan. I think my birth name was Valaria. Please help me find them if or If anyone knows who could be my birth parents please contact me. I have been trying to look up adoption places in Vladivostok and see if any of them look like the ones in the back of some of my photos. I do not know their names. Please help. [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2021/01/f81d062286a1577aa7f7be7cbc20da04_view.jpeg[/img]pictures. *The first photo is of me a my mom(one who adopted me) at the orphanage in Vladivostok. I do not know what orphanage this is so if someone can tell from the background please contact me. Here are 2 photos of me as a baby [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2021/01/1a5af176fcea2acbc214f60d358ff052_view.jpeg[/img] [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2021/01/1772893fed9908e260c58ee011c988bd_view.jpeg[/img] And here is a photo of me now [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2021/01/2bc91d3989ad0298e57fe99c6e3db8ae_view.jpeg[/img]

December 18, 2020
HI IM SEARCHING FOR MY HALF BROTHER. HE WAS BORN AROUND JANUARY 1972 . IN SILVER SPRING MARYLAND AND SIX MONTHS LATER MY MOTHER HAD TO GIVE HIM HIM UP. MY MOTHER NAMED HIM MICHEAL SCOTT. (POSSIBLY HAD TWIN WHO DIED AT BIRTH ) MOTHERS NAME IS GAYLA LYNN SCOTT (KNITTLE)BORN MAY 15 1953,IF ANYONE KNOWS ANYTHING HELP PLEASE... UNFORTUNATELY IM NOT POSITIVE ON BIRTH PLACE AND DATE . THERE IS SO MUCH MORE , A FEW YEARS LATER GAYLA MET MY FATHER AND HAD ME AND MY YOUNGER BROTHER. WHEN SHE WAS KILLED IN 1980 MY BROTHER AND I WERE PUT UP FOR ADOPTION . I ALWAYS KNEW OF MICHEAL . AT 16 I FOUBD MY BIO FATHER AND WAS REUNITED.. I DONT WANT TO INTRUDE ON HIS LIFE OR EXPECT A RELATIONSHIP, I JYST WANT KNOW

November 27, 2020
Hi, am 20 years. I lost my parents at a young age. Am looking for a family to care and love me as one of their own because that has always been my wish. I am a comedian and good in acting and singing. My email is elizaakinyi123@gmail.com

Colleen Black
November 5, 2020
Some of you may already know that we are adopting our first child here in Zambia. I have had so many people asking questions about the process, and time just seems to be whizzing by (most days!) as things are moving rather quickly in these initial stages. I decided to share where we are at, for our own memories sake, to keep friends and family updated, but also to encourage anyone out there who is on a similar journey. I am a reader, and so I have loved reading of other peoples experiences, and seeing what God is doing in peoples lives through adoption. We started our adoption process in April 2020, as in, we made the decision to find out what our options were. We had hit a few bumps along the road on having biological children, and whilst we have a solution, and we can have biological kids, I just felt God pointing us to adoption. It is so important to me that people understand that adoption is not a plan B, it is not second best, it is not a last resort. It is our first choice. [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2020/11/f93ffb92cd5a21ced1af21a9d5497089_view.png[/img] We got in touch with the social workers at House of Moses mid April, as they were the orphanage in Lusaka that friends of ours used. Zambia is different in that they do not use agencies here, you work directly with government social workers and orphanages. They confirmed that as expats we could adopt, which was a huge relief! We were given a list of documents we needed to get together along with a letter to addressed to social welfare explaining why we want to adopt and our request (age, gender, health). Please remember, this is our experience of adoption in Zambia, and every case might not look the same and the systems may change. Documents we needed to submit: NRC Bank statement/payslip Reference letters Police clearance Marriage certificate Medical report (only at government hospital) Early May, we then had our interview (also referred to as a home study/home assessment), with our social worker at House of Moses. Because we live outside of Lusaka, they did this on Zoom. It was about two hours long, very intensive! Which was really encouraging at how thorough they are. It was such a comfort to me that they are Christian, and were also so sensitive towards us as we had to share some difficult information from our pasts. It is not often you find yourself telling someone your entire history from birth! We still had to get our police clearance and medical report done, this was delayed purely from our own schedules as well as Covid. But we eventually got it done and we could then have our next visit. On the 10th June our social worker, Elizabeth Mzeche, here in Mazabuka came to our house to do the home visit and go through all our paperwork and application. We had a couple of changes to make and then our application was delivered to Lusaka on the 21st June. We had initially been told it could take anything between 2-4 weeks, but that there might be delays to Covid. Catch phrase of 2020! Naturally, as soon as we hit the end of 4 weeks I got in contact to see if there was any news, which there was none. Our social workers have been so kind and gracious towards me, with all my questions, and I am so grateful for Gods presence in all this. Then, completely out of the blue, on the 6th August, I received a message from Elizabeth asking if I had received my copy of the approval letter as she had just received hers. I could not believe it, so unexpected, but what was just miraculous, was the letter was dated 24th June, which means our application was processed and approved in less than 3 days?! That is a miracle, nothing happens that quickly, ever? So it was either waiting to be printed, to be taken to a different desk, to be taken to be signed, and then sent out for delivery, and or floated about somewhere in the postal system. Who knows where the delay was, but quite frankly, I am so thankful to God for the miracle! Our name has been added to the list of families wanting to adopt, and now, we wait to be matched to a baby. Our request was a boy or girl, under 12 months of age, as young as possible! They work with the Child Protection Unit to do family tracing on the child, then once that is done, a police clearance report is written to clear the child for adoption. So that will all take time. Hopefully, in the not to distant future, we will get the call to say we can go meet our child! We then have to spend some time with the child at the orphanage to go through a bonding/attachment period. Once that is done, then we get to take our baby home on a 3 month fostering agreement. Once that is done, then we do the adoption paperwork. It is all quite a process! I had a bit of a wobble around the time of our application being submitted, there were just so many unknowns and not knowing if I would be holding a baby in 2 months or 12 months or more was freaking me out. But I realised that I could ruin this season by allowing myself to be consumed with mistrust, impatience, doubt, fear, ingratitude, and even what was probably pride and selfishness. I didn’t want to look back on this season of my life and see how I had missed the happiness because I was being so self focussed. So I gave it all to God, and He provided me with such a peace and patience which I am so grateful for. This is a journey, and there have been and will be tough days, but I am keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus in this. Also, I am enjoying our time without kids. I am in a season now where I am looking forward to a bit of chaos in our lives, and even the sleepless nights and endless nappies. I know that it won’t be long before I will find myself wondering what it is like to have time all to ourselves and what on earth were we thinking having kids. But, I also know, having seen it in so many women, that there will will come a time, as our baby grows up, that I will miss the season of chaos. Every season has it’s mix of chaos and bliss. So we are enjoying our time, where we are at now, and I am reading and doing the odd bit of shopping … We would love you to pray with us on this journey. For our hearts, for our marriage, for our baby, for the birth parents, for their salvation and healing, for our social workers. The proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child” could not be more true. [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2020/11/05d076c4e9f65a735c21f614113dc58d_view.png[/img] If you have questions about adoption, please do ask me, or someone, or Google. Adoption has never been a foreign concept to us, but I appreciate that for many people this is not the case, and there are questions. But don’t leave those questions unasked, not just for your sake, but for everyone’s. x A common, often unasked, question: “How will you love a child that is not your ‘own’?” They are my own, they just didn’t come from my body. I will love them the same way I love my husband, who is also not a blood relative. By choosing to, every day, for the rest of our lives.

August 13, 2020
Hello Looking for some input on out of state adoption. We live in a small state, so we were looking to go elsewhere as well. Was it difficult? How were visits managed? How long did it take? Paperwork? Etc. thanks for your help!

August 7, 2020
In this blog I will be promoting different resources, groups, studies, and advice for those effected by post adoption or post birth maternal separation disorder. No matter if your symptoms be an inability to connect to babies or physical PTSD you get for a reason you don't remember, this is a blog that may help you and those around you.

August 7, 2020
I’m feeling even more defeated lately than I normally do. I was adopted in family at birth and was raised as my family secret. I had started questioning things at an early age, but was lied to from the start. The differences I noticed and the connections I wasn’t able to form seemed to be blamed on me for not being up to par with my adoptive siblings. At 16, my depression forced my adoptive parents hand and they admitted that I am in fact adopted and that my birth mother was someone I was familiar with — my aunt. This was at first welcome news because I knew her, I knew my older siblings. I could see myself. The problem started creeping in once it started to sink in. I knew her. She had older kids. She raised them. She relinquished me. Naturally, I was consumed with questions and the realization that I had been lied to for years. After some time in therapy, I decided to reach out to her. My birth mom started telling conflicting stories and wouldn’t outright say that she did give birth to me. Just recently, I’m 26 now, I was informed that she had been attending my adopted siblings events and taking them to lunch randomly. She’s also starting to take on more of a “mom” role with her grandkids and seemingly flaunting their closeness in my face. I’ve tried many times to get straight answers from her, but she seems to want to change details as she seems necessary. Then in person, when she is around me she wants to be around me as if I’m not aware that she’s lying. I’m not really sure how to proceed with this anymore or if I should keep trying at all. It’s caused more than enough damage in my life, but I’m not sure how to tell my adoptive dad that I cannot be around her. It makes him choose between his baby sister and his daughter. I feel like I’m losing myself all over again trying to figure out why she didn’t want me, how she continues to deliberately reject me, why she seeks out relationships with everyone around me. I haven’t pushed her for anything other than the truth. I also understand that she may not want a relationship with me. What I don’t understand is her asking questions about me to everyone around me instead of having a real conversation with me.