December 18, 2020

November 27, 2020
Hi, my name is Elizabeth, am 20 years of age. I was born in Kenya and I grew up in Kenya. I lost my mom at the age of six years and since then I do not know the where about of my father. I grew up in the hands of my relatives which was not easy. I gave always wanted and wish to find a family who will live me, care for me and support me. I love reading and traveling. Am talented in comedy, singing and acting. If there is a a family who wish to support me I will be very grateful and I will let you know everything about me since I cannot post everything here. My email is am a Christian. God bless.

November 27, 2020
Hi, am 20 years. I lost my parents at a young age. Am looking for a family to care and love me as one of their own because that has always been my wish. I am a comedian and good in acting and singing. My email is

Colleen Black
November 5, 2020
Some of you may already know that we are adopting our first child here in Zambia. I have had so many people asking questions about the process, and time just seems to be whizzing by (most days!) as things are moving rather quickly in these initial stages. I decided to share where we are at, for our own memories sake, to keep friends and family updated, but also to encourage anyone out there who is on a similar journey. I am a reader, and so I have loved reading of other peoples experiences, and seeing what God is doing in peoples lives through adoption. We started our adoption process in April 2020, as in, we made the decision to find out what our options were. We had hit a few bumps along the road on having biological children, and whilst we have a solution, and we can have biological kids, I just felt God pointing us to adoption. It is so important to me that people understand that adoption is not a plan B, it is not second best, it is not a last resort. It is our first choice. [img][/img] We got in touch with the social workers at House of Moses mid April, as they were the orphanage in Lusaka that friends of ours used. Zambia is different in that they do not use agencies here, you work directly with government social workers and orphanages. They confirmed that as expats we could adopt, which was a huge relief! We were given a list of documents we needed to get together along with a letter to addressed to social welfare explaining why we want to adopt and our request (age, gender, health). Please remember, this is our experience of adoption in Zambia, and every case might not look the same and the systems may change. Documents we needed to submit: NRC Bank statement/payslip Reference letters Police clearance Marriage certificate Medical report (only at government hospital) Early May, we then had our interview (also referred to as a home study/home assessment), with our social worker at House of Moses. Because we live outside of Lusaka, they did this on Zoom. It was about two hours long, very intensive! Which was really encouraging at how thorough they are. It was such a comfort to me that they are Christian, and were also so sensitive towards us as we had to share some difficult information from our pasts. It is not often you find yourself telling someone your entire history from birth! We still had to get our police clearance and medical report done, this was delayed purely from our own schedules as well as Covid. But we eventually got it done and we could then have our next visit. On the 10th June our social worker, Elizabeth Mzeche, here in Mazabuka came to our house to do the home visit and go through all our paperwork and application. We had a couple of changes to make and then our application was delivered to Lusaka on the 21st June. We had initially been told it could take anything between 2-4 weeks, but that there might be delays to Covid. Catch phrase of 2020! Naturally, as soon as we hit the end of 4 weeks I got in contact to see if there was any news, which there was none. Our social workers have been so kind and gracious towards me, with all my questions, and I am so grateful for Gods presence in all this. Then, completely out of the blue, on the 6th August, I received a message from Elizabeth asking if I had received my copy of the approval letter as she had just received hers. I could not believe it, so unexpected, but what was just miraculous, was the letter was dated 24th June, which means our application was processed and approved in less than 3 days?! That is a miracle, nothing happens that quickly, ever? So it was either waiting to be printed, to be taken to a different desk, to be taken to be signed, and then sent out for delivery, and or floated about somewhere in the postal system. Who knows where the delay was, but quite frankly, I am so thankful to God for the miracle! Our name has been added to the list of families wanting to adopt, and now, we wait to be matched to a baby. Our request was a boy or girl, under 12 months of age, as young as possible! They work with the Child Protection Unit to do family tracing on the child, then once that is done, a police clearance report is written to clear the child for adoption. So that will all take time. Hopefully, in the not to distant future, we will get the call to say we can go meet our child! We then have to spend some time with the child at the orphanage to go through a bonding/attachment period. Once that is done, then we get to take our baby home on a 3 month fostering agreement. Once that is done, then we do the adoption paperwork. It is all quite a process! I had a bit of a wobble around the time of our application being submitted, there were just so many unknowns and not knowing if I would be holding a baby in 2 months or 12 months or more was freaking me out. But I realised that I could ruin this season by allowing myself to be consumed with mistrust, impatience, doubt, fear, ingratitude, and even what was probably pride and selfishness. I didn’t want to look back on this season of my life and see how I had missed the happiness because I was being so self focussed. So I gave it all to God, and He provided me with such a peace and patience which I am so grateful for. This is a journey, and there have been and will be tough days, but I am keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus in this. Also, I am enjoying our time without kids. I am in a season now where I am looking forward to a bit of chaos in our lives, and even the sleepless nights and endless nappies. I know that it won’t be long before I will find myself wondering what it is like to have time all to ourselves and what on earth were we thinking having kids. But, I also know, having seen it in so many women, that there will will come a time, as our baby grows up, that I will miss the season of chaos. Every season has it’s mix of chaos and bliss. So we are enjoying our time, where we are at now, and I am reading and doing the odd bit of shopping … We would love you to pray with us on this journey. For our hearts, for our marriage, for our baby, for the birth parents, for their salvation and healing, for our social workers. The proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child” could not be more true. [img][/img] If you have questions about adoption, please do ask me, or someone, or Google. Adoption has never been a foreign concept to us, but I appreciate that for many people this is not the case, and there are questions. But don’t leave those questions unasked, not just for your sake, but for everyone’s. x A common, often unasked, question: “How will you love a child that is not your ‘own’?” They are my own, they just didn’t come from my body. I will love them the same way I love my husband, who is also not a blood relative. By choosing to, every day, for the rest of our lives.

August 13, 2020
Hello Looking for some input on out of state adoption. We live in a small state, so we were looking to go elsewhere as well. Was it difficult? How were visits managed? How long did it take? Paperwork? Etc. thanks for your help!

August 7, 2020
In this blog I will be promoting different resources, groups, studies, and advice for those effected by post adoption or post birth maternal separation disorder. No matter if your symptoms be an inability to connect to babies or physical PTSD you get for a reason you don't remember, this is a blog that may help you and those around you.

August 7, 2020
I’m feeling even more defeated lately than I normally do. I was adopted in family at birth and was raised as my family secret. I had started questioning things at an early age, but was lied to from the start. The differences I noticed and the connections I wasn’t able to form seemed to be blamed on me for not being up to par with my adoptive siblings. At 16, my depression forced my adoptive parents hand and they admitted that I am in fact adopted and that my birth mother was someone I was familiar with — my aunt. This was at first welcome news because I knew her, I knew my older siblings. I could see myself. The problem started creeping in once it started to sink in. I knew her. She had older kids. She raised them. She relinquished me. Naturally, I was consumed with questions and the realization that I had been lied to for years. After some time in therapy, I decided to reach out to her. My birth mom started telling conflicting stories and wouldn’t outright say that she did give birth to me. Just recently, I’m 26 now, I was informed that she had been attending my adopted siblings events and taking them to lunch randomly. She’s also starting to take on more of a “mom” role with her grandkids and seemingly flaunting their closeness in my face. I’ve tried many times to get straight answers from her, but she seems to want to change details as she seems necessary. Then in person, when she is around me she wants to be around me as if I’m not aware that she’s lying. I’m not really sure how to proceed with this anymore or if I should keep trying at all. It’s caused more than enough damage in my life, but I’m not sure how to tell my adoptive dad that I cannot be around her. It makes him choose between his baby sister and his daughter. I feel like I’m losing myself all over again trying to figure out why she didn’t want me, how she continues to deliberately reject me, why she seeks out relationships with everyone around me. I haven’t pushed her for anything other than the truth. I also understand that she may not want a relationship with me. What I don’t understand is her asking questions about me to everyone around me instead of having a real conversation with me.

May 27, 2020
When I was 17 and a senior in high school my girlfriend (same age and grade) got pregnant. We were both so scared and had no idea how to approach such a grown-up situation with our adolescent minds and problem solving skills. The back and forth we went through, the indecision and agony we went through over what to do sticks with me to this day. I'm 36 now and my bio-daughter will be 18 on the 20th of December. Sophie, wherever you are out there, I want you to know I think about you everyday and love you so dearly. My greatest hope is that you are healthy, safe and happy. My one wish and prayer for myself in this lifetime is that I meet you one day. And Elaine, sweet Elaine. I loved you more than heaven and earth. Wherever you are, I hope you are happy. You made me feel like the luckiest person in the world whenever I was with you. You had the innate ability to make every little rotten thing in life feel like it was going to be okay. No matter where I go in this life, whatever comes to pass, I will always, always, carry a room for you in my heart.

April 25, 2020
Hi there, I'm new here but I've read quite a few posts and they've helped a ton. Not all have answered all of my questions so I thought I'd just ask my own. A little back story, my husband and I were married for 5 year and had tried every route of fertility treatment in our means. My sister in law text my husband and asked to barrow money. (She did not know yet the doctor had just 3 days prior confirmed there was no physical way I would ever conceive on my own or carry a baby past 12 weeks.) He asked her for what and she said for an abortion. She had 2 other kids that she was barely able to take care of and knew she couldn't add another with the father abandoning her the second she told him she was pregnant. We didn't reply right away as that was very painful for us to even imagine helping with just being given the news from the doctor. A day or 2 later, she calls and says she had talked to my mother in law and was wondering if we'd like to adopt the baby and have her and her kids live with us so we could be involved through the whole pregnancy and help her as well. Long story short we did and everything was amazing. Fast forward 5 years we told my daughter she was adopted but were suggested because of being a relative to wait until she asked to tell her who her bio parents were. So here we are to the reason for me joining and my post. My daughter is now 12, and because i.f a school project in genetics the question had arrived. We've for the last 5 years been estranged from my sister in law because of some major drug and lifestyle choices we are not supportive of and choose to be distant from. We're still in contact with my niece and nephew and to her, her cousins. My sister in law has recently told my niece and nephew that my daughter is their bio-sister and at their next chance to tell my daughter so she'll come running back to her and leave us because I'd the horrible people we are. We know that wont be the issue because with my daughter seeing how she lives and the choices she's made, she dispises her. We are planning to tell my daughter in ther next day or 2 because my niece wants a sleep over again and don't want this to be taken out on my niece but I want our daughter to hear and feel the news of her bio from us not her cousin. So the question, how do I start the conversation? I don't want to just: "Hey, the moon is huge tonight, by the way meme is your bio mom." How do I work into it? Also, we know who the bio- father is but have no contact but he's very active on Facebook, (because I check his page often) so I believe there could be contact if she wanted. There is also more sibling on that side as well. What reaction should I prepare for from her as well? I know everyone is different but a little insight would help my mind prepare as well. Please, any input would be very appreciated. Thank you so much.

April 23, 2020
This is my first time writing in this forum and my first attempt to verbalise what I'm feeling so please bear with me.. I am 36 and was placed in my adoptive home shortly after my 4th birthday and have always known and 'understood' the reasons for my adoption. After years of internal struggle, anxiety and depression I finally decided to actively find my biological parents and got my file from my local authority who handled my adoption. Fast forward a year and I actually stumbled across my half-sibling on Facebook which led to make contact with my only full sibling (I wasn't aware I had a full sibling) and another half sibling and both my biological parents. Some might say jackpot! After really positive reunions with all I looked forward to building relationships with them all, however after the initial meeting both parents have withdrawn. I have since developed an irrational anger, I understand having read my file, and spoken to my siblings, and in part to my biological parents about what happened. But I have this sense that I have been rejected again by them. I understand that they were unable to be parents when I was born, and I get they are still not able to be parents but I can't help the feeling that they should step up a bit more. I'm their child for all their declarations that they wanted me, loved me and wish that they had known me as a child etc etc but they just can't seem to think of me first. I'm a parent myself and I would give me last breath to protect my children or to tell them I loved them that last time. But even as grown adults 30+ years later they cant see past themselves. I know I should be grateful I had a wonderful childhood, an amazing husband and 2 beautiful children but why can't I shift this soul crushing anger and hurt? I want to move on, deal with the fact they don't want to be active in my life etc but it hurts, its like I wasn't enough to fight for as a child and I'm still not enough for them.. Am I stupid? Will I ever be able to just move past this? I find it hard to verbalise how I feel to my family, I try and my hubby almost gets it but there is just this sense that they just don't get it, am I making too much of this or am I justified in my feelings? I want to feel something other than deep routed anger, I feel I constantly have to squash the feeling down in fear it will all come out and people will look at me like I am mad! ***sorry for the rant!