Adoption Books | Review of In On It By Elisabeth O’Toole

What adoptive parents would like you to know.

Natalie Brenner December 01, 2016
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The boys were nestled into the stroller nice and warm, I had my coffee in hand, and we were walking downtown to Jo Anne’s. The vibrant leaves covered the sidewalks while the fog began to lift. It was a perfect time to begin reading In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption.

Don’t get me wrong: reading a book while simultaneously walking and pushing a stroller filled with babies isn’t the easiest thing to do. But when you have two babies and a thriving photography business, there isn’t much time to do what you love: read. So you read and stroll.

As we walked the mile and a half to Jo Anne’s, I gobbled the book with my eyes and wished the entire time that I had given this book to my family members as gifts when we decided it was time to start our adoption journey.

Right off the bat, Elisabeth O’Toole addresses important aspects of the adoptive family’s life that are changing drastically, but may go unnoticed, causing rifts or hurt by well-meaning and loving family members.

O’Toole walks the reader through an entire list of questions an adoptive family suddenly has to process and you begin to get the inside scoop of understanding a lot of what is being processed through. This enables family members and close friends to support an adoptive family really well and know what loving them tangibly looks like.

The book also addresses the varying levels that extended family members are affected by adoption, giving a voice to very real losses and processes the close members are also walking through. She assists the reader in navigating and validating the extremely complex and vast array of complicated emotions that even extended family members experience: fear and anticipation, worry and relief, gratitude and disappointment.

It offers the family members a chance to acknowledge and grieve any loss of expectation or belief they once held regarding what family is. It helps you begin to move forward and help prepare for the incoming child that will soon be your: granddaughter/nephew/cousin/etc.

There are so many golden nuggets in this book, such as positive adoption language and how-to tips to approach the adoptive parents to heal any unintentional wounds.

Overall, I would recommend this book for friends and family who have loved ones pursuing adoption. It would be a great gift to give your family members to read as you all wait for your child to join your family via adoption. It was also helpful for me to read, noting various things that are normal, and how to address them lovingly and with grace.

It is a quick and easy read, learning how to love others well through their adoption journey.

Purchase your copy here!

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Natalie Brenner

Natalie Brenner is wife to Loren and mom to two under two, living in Portland, Oregon. She is the best-selling author of This Undeserved Life. She likes her wine red, ice cream served by the pint, and conversations vulnerable. Natalie believes in the impossible and hopes to create safe spaces for every fractured soul. She's addicted to honesty and believes grief is the avenue to wholeness. Natalie is a bookworm, a speaker, and a lover of fall. Connect with her at NatalieBrennerWrites.com and join her email community.


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