Expect the Unexpected

Sometimes the adoption process doesn't go the way you plan.

admin July 10, 2014
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babyWhen we found out that our son had been born he was already two days old. He was born on a Thursday and they called us on Saturday. His birth mom called the agency early in her pregnancy but never came in to fill out paperwork. The agency didn’t hear from her again until she delivered our son.

I remember the day we got the call like it was yesterday. They told us a baby boy had been born and the birth mom wanted to place the  baby for adoption. She had placed another baby a couple of years earlier with the same agency, so the social worker was familiar with her. They told us that he did have drugs in his system, but they didn’t know all the details yet. He seemed fine, but was going through withdrawals.

Something just felt right about this little baby. He already seemed like ours and we had not even met him yet. We had to drive about two and half hours to get to the hospital. When we arrived at the hospital we found out the birth mom went into labor at a friends’ house and ended up giving birth to our son right there. No medical doctors or nurses or a doula, just a friend. The ambulance arrived 10 minutes later and transported the baby and birth mom to the hospital.

When our son was admitted, his birth mom just left. (I almost cry writing that and it has been five years since my son was born.) Needless to say, we were in shock. I was so sad for my son. He spent the first two days of his life not being held or comforted by his mom. He was also going through drug withdrawals. He needed a lot of love.

The nurses were awesome. They grew fond of our son quickly and were able to love him and care for him until we arrived. I will always be grateful for the love and support of the neonatal nurse and staff.

After about two hours of paper work and safety precautions with the  hospital, we finally got to meet our son. When the nurse placed my son in my arms it was love at first sight. I will always remember that moment. How I felt, how he smelled, how small he seemed. I just knew he was destined to be ours.

We were able to spend some alone time with our new baby for about an hour. Later, the head nurse came in to tell us about the health of the baby. He had a couple of drugs in his system, but not large amounts. He was going through withdrawals, but doing good. They had to come check his Apgar score about every hour. He also had a heart murmur called VSD. We were to see a cardiologist as soon as we got home. It was a lot to take in. We went from not having a baby, or even knowing that a baby was arriving, to having a baby in less than 6 hours.

The nurse staff continued to bless us. They gave us a room for the night and even brought us dinner. I was so thankful that we were able to experience the “hospital stay.” Our son slept in our room all night. It was a sweet time of bonding.

When you are planning to adopt you have to expect the unexpected. Changes happen day-to-day. We had been waiting for nine months for our baby. We were so unprepared for a baby that we were doing internet searches for names on the way to the hospital. I did not have a car seat, bed, pack and play, bottles, or even clothes. We were expecting to be matched with a birth mom. We thought we would anticipate the arrival of our baby. We expected to have some sort of relationship with the birth mom, or even meet her. Everything we expected to happen, didn’t. Now I would not have it any other way.

Our son is the best “unexpected” gift we could ask for.

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