How can she treat me like that?!

Situation: We adopt a baby and have not been informed upfront of potential legal ramifications pertaining to termination of the birthfather's rights. I get upset with the agency, "she" calls me "unstable". How dare can a person that doesn't even know me, get away with this? Then, the birthmother in which we had a great relationship with, is told the same thing, now I haven't heard from her. It's such a long story, but we have a very beautiful baby and I just can't get over how this woman that runs this agency can get away with this?!!! Now we live with a loophole in our adoption thanks to this whole mess. Wouldn't you be upset too?! Anyway, my main objective is to get reunited with the birthmother for my child's sake. I want to write to her and send her a picture but I don't know whether to be brief, or assume she doesn't want anything to do with us. Any thoughts?