What a nightmare!

I just wanted to post this - I am new to the board and new to adoption and found out something that I never knew before - I will try to keep this short. My husband and I are adopting and found a birthmother in May who had no prenatal care. We talked and went ahead with the adoption since she was due in July and we worked out getting her medicade in FL. While going along, we were not able to get any medical info. while she was seeing the doctor, but she was able to tell us what the doctor was saying. She also agreed to all blood tests and agreed for us to see any medical info. She felt she was healthy and had had 2 children before. She filled out all the proper paperwork (HIPA forms....) so that we too could receive her medical info. Then we found out in early June she had to go into the hospital and found out from the adoption agency in FL that she had Hepa C - no big deal to us - we did some research and if the BM was careful and was being treated, we would keep with the adoption (BM stated that she might have gotten it from a blood transfusion when she had complications with her second child); but we still wanted more medical info from her doctor - and we still hadn't recieved any medical info him specifically confirming the condition. I called the agency in FL to see if there was anything I could do to speed up the process. The agency GAVE ME the doctor's name and number and stated they didn't know why they weren't receiving medical info since "they stated" all the forms were filled out. For 3 days I called and never stated who I was but being very professional, got in contact with a nurse in the medical records department and asked her if she wouldn't mind getting the agency in FL the records. I requested that they be sent to the agency in FL (since I knew that they should get them first, not me). The girl couldn't figure out why we hadn't gotten them either, and she said she wasn't allowed to fax them, that they had to be sent by an agency that comes into medical records to copy and mail them. She knew though that a lot of time had passed since these several requests, and she went ahead and faxed them anyway to the agency in FL. The agency called us to say that they had gotten the medical records and some bloodwork looked very strange. They had an emergency call into the doctor to find out why the reports were testing for HIV as well as Hepa C - our BM had never mentioned anything about that. This is when things came crashing down. We come to find out the next day that our BM filled out the HIPA form wrong and the medical info WAS NOT supposed to be released to anyone. Meanwhile, the doctor finds out that the agency in FL has the records and how did they get them???? :confused: The doctor FIRED the girl who faxed the med records, and also finds out that I was the one who called. Our BM hadn't even found out about her HIV before my husband and I did! After several days of trying to get the right paperwork, the BM finds out and is upset that we are upset about the situation and feels we don't have her best interest at heart. She also finds out about her condition and is devisitated (we felt so bad for her). We wanted to speak with her doctor to see how far along the HIV and HEPA C is and what the risks are, but he is unwilling to release any info (even with the right forms filled out) without a court order. We got our BM to sign the forms correctly and sent them immediately to the medical records department. What a mess! After another couple days, the BM wants to know if we are still interested - OF COURSE WE ARE! we proclaim, but we would like to speak with your doctor!!! Another day or two passes with no word from the doctor, (he still will not talk to us without a court order) and the BM decides that she will keep the baby, since we do not have her best interests at heart. We were heartbroken! Sorry this was so long - we did find out that our BM (when she found out she had HIV as well got A LOT of assistance and support with counceling with the medicade and the state started processing her so that she could receive adequete care) She had a little girl a few days ago (and the baby was clear of HEPA C, but did have HIV), and even though all of our friend and family say that this was not meant to be.......... I am still having a hard time coming to grips with it all. I think about the BM and child EVERY DAY and also blame myself for someone loosing their job. I would have NEVER gotten involved if someone had told me that IT WAS NOT MY JOB to call and find out why things were taking so long. I assumed that if the agency had given me the name of the clinic and doctor to call that it was ok to do. I have learned a BIG lesson and next time we get a new BM I will ask my own agency and lawyer what to do. I feel like I am to blame in all of this. I am glad that I have also found this site. It is hard for me to get on line a lot, but I will try to check out this site often - especially with legal issues and just to run situations by for advice. Thanks for making this site so great!