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I live in Ohio and 2 months ago adopted the most beautiful baby. We have a semi open adoption, my husband and I were chosen by our birthmother and have had several meetings with her. Our adoption is set to be finalized in Dec.
The Problem... My husband and I have been having problems and he no longer wants to be married or to be a father to this baby. He wants me to return the baby..(like the baby is a peice of clothing or something), and I am heartbroken. I love this baby and have waited for the baby for so long. I can't bear to lose my child.
What are my legal rights as far as continuing this adoption on my own? Please help! Any advice is welcomed...
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I'm sorry you are going through this, but I do think you should be entirely honest with the birthmother about the situation and offer her the opportunity of reclaiming her child and backing out of the deal. If she chooses to go ahead with it, then you should have no problem adopting the baby on your own as a single parent. If the birthmom still wants you to adopt the baby, even if the agency refuses to work with you as a single parent, you and the birthmom can just get a lawyer and do an independent adoption, I would think.
I don't see a whole lot of alternatives... I suppose the agency (or the State) could take the baby out of your home and give it to some other adoptive couple (or worse yet, foster care), but I can't think of anything more traumatic and harmful for the child. The baby has already bonded with you... if he leaves your care, it should be to go back to the care of his biological mother. I see no benefit to the child in being raised by anyone other than you or his biological mother, regardless of marital status.
This may not be exactly what you want to hear, but it is my opinion. Get together with the birthmother and decide together what's best for this child... otherwise, the State will surely step in and do something that will be very damaging to him.
Best of luck to you, ~ Sharon
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I totally disagree with the last poster. Until you have worked things out with your husband the bmom does not need to be involved. I assume she already relinquished her rights? I would first speak with your attorney and see what your options are. If you are working with an agency I would then talk to them and see how they want to handle all of it.
You know when we brought our first daughter home we have a very rough patch in our marriage. It was all the stress of the adoption and a new baby at home. Have the two of you discussed counseling? I hope all works out for your family. Good luck to you.