control issue

It seems as my boyfriend of 2 years has a control issue. I believe cause he always stresses the issue that he needs to be needed. A relationship to me is not to be needed but wanted. So to be needed he with his charm and financial sub counsiously makes you feel like you need to depend on him. which puts him in controlWith his behavior of this for years in past relationships his control issue has developed into a full blown control problem. Can anyone help me to locate information on the web about this? I want to research this and see how common this is? I believe it was cause he was adopted @ age 5 and feels like he wasnt wanted and as well all through his life his mother said she never wanted him only his father wanted a son. SO maybe he feels need is love. TO me need is a have to and want is a desire want is love.