How Can We Make Our Agreements with Adoptive Parents Legal and binding?

"Statutes Permitting Enforceable Contracts

Approximately6 18 States (Arizona, California, Connecticut, Florida, Indiana, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Vermont, Washington, and West Virginia) currently have legislation allowing written and enforceable adoption with contact agreements. In many of these States, the statutes incorporate the substance of the language recommended by the Guidelines, while in other States (notably New York and South Dakota),7 provisions pertaining to the contents and enforcement of the agreements are not specified.

In most of these States, an agreement for adoption with contact can potentially be permitted for any adoptive child as long as the type and frequency of contact is deemed to be in the child's best interest. Some States, such as Connecticut, Nebraska, and New York, limit the application of agreements to children in foster care. Indiana limits enforceable contact agreements to children age two and older. For children under age two, non-enforceable agreements are permitted as long as the type of contact does not include visitation.

Most statutes permit post-adoption contact for birth parents, however, some States also allow other birth relatives, including grandparents, aunts, uncles or siblings, who have significant emotional ties to the child, to be included in the agreement. Minnesota permits foster parents to petition for contact privileges; for Indian children, members of the child's tribe are included among the eligible birth relatives. California, Indiana, Maryland, and Massachusetts have separate provisions for sibling visitation.

All parties wishing to be included in the agreements must agree in writing to all terms, which in most States are subject to court approval. Disputes over compliance, and requests for modification of the terms must also be brought before the court. Five States, Arizona, Connecticut, Louisiana, Minnesota, and Oregon, require parties to participate in mediation before petitions are brought before the court. In no case can disputes over the post-adoption agreement be used as grounds for setting aside an adoption or relinquishment of parental rights.

Hope this helps. For more info, please visit the following website: [url]http://www.calib.com/naic/laws/coopadopt/index.cfm[/url] ~ Sharon :)

I just don't get it. I am a adoptive mom to a one year old. I would never in a million years promise something that I wouldn't keep to a birthfamily. My story is different because my daughter's birthmom didn't know what she wanted at the time of placement. We kept it totally open for her to decide. The grandmother and I decided we would do letters and pictures every 2 months and send them to the grandma. I do call the grandma to see how her daughter is doing. My daughter's birthmom did not want to see her at birth and still hasn't looked at one picture or letter I have written to her. She has my phone number, email address and home address. I don't know how she feels right now and never will. I hear alot of adoptive parents quit sending things once the adoption is final. I think that is so wrong. We are adopting again and I hope and pray to God to find a birthfamily what wants open adoption. I would go to a Attorney and see what you can do. There needs to be a law that protects you ladies. The adoptive parents should be so thankful that you allow them to raise your child. I pray that some how you can find the answers you need. I'm still so sorry they are doing that to you. There are alot of good adoptive families out there that will always be grateful for allowing us to be parents. Take care and I will be praying for you. Cathy

Thank you ladies for helping to support me in this. I am going to try to get ahold of my agency and see what I can do. About three months after the adoption we got together with our adoption agent and drew up a contact agreement. The agent said that there was no way to have it legal and I feel that she just didn't want to take the time for find out for me since the agency received payment for the adoption from the afamily and the adoption was finalized. I even asked if I could just have it notarized just so that it would stand up in court, but she said that was not necessary. I don't know of anyone here in Orlando that is a reliable source if there is anyone who can help I'd appreciate it. I am kind of afraid of how this will affect my relationship with the afamily, I have witten them personally to share with them my concern and they have said that they are doing their best but I gave my all the least they can do is give me their all in sending picture on our agreed basis! T.Treu

Can I ask you what Agency you used? I'm adopting in Tampa and I do believe they have a Agency in Orlando. I will not let my agency do that to the birthfamily that picks us. You could PM me to keep it private.. Thank you and good luck!! Cathy

i need help i have had my niece baby for 4 months sience she has been took into dss custody. now the grandparents has got a lawyer saying dss did wrong when they took the baby from her but she made the decision to be with the father instead of the baby at the time. what is going to happen now can they fight dss? the mother has no visit with the baby now because she is not following through with her case plan i just need help no one to turn to with all these questions

PM?? I don't know what that is!?

PM means Private Message.

I wish I knew too. As much as I wanted my son to have a better life (July 1981 Sacred Heart Hospital..Ryan Patrick Boyle) I may not have made the same decision except for the Counselor telling me how great the parents were, how thet could give him a better life, and how I would know and get pictures and know how he was. My life has never recovered for the guilt. They sent me one letter telling me they were moving, thru the counselor, so that I could never find him and disrupt their lives. What this tells me and scares me is that they were not the stable settled family I was told. She convinced me I would not be a good parent, then didn't tell me I had a chance to change my mind or that It wasn't final once the family was chosen. She would never return my calls after

"They sent me one letter telling me they were moving, thru the counselor, so that I could never find him and disrupt their lives. What this tells me and scares me is that they were not the stable settled family I was told." They sound horrible and deceptive. Shame on them.

Gosh, I am sorry to hear that the adoptive family isn't honoring their part of the agreement. We have a semi-open adoption and are required to send updates once monthly for the first six months and once yearly after that (around their bdate) but I always think that is too long and wind up sending letter and pictures about every 3 months. If I were you, I would definitely call the agency and let them know you haven't been receiving pics or letters, maybe it has fallen through the cracks with the agency and they have forgotten to follow up with the afamily. I know we have to send all of our pics/letters to them first and then they forward them to bmom, so maybe, just maybe, someone isn't quite doing their job at the agency?? I don't know but I really hope they can do better for you. Good luck!

I also can't believe that adoptive parents do that to birthparents and their families. We adopted 3 years ago and we are in a fully open adoption. I am greatful to my sons birthmother and her family. We allow her to come over regularly, she has come to all birthdays, we got to her family's home just for dinner or to take our son there to see them. We are in contact weekly. There is nothing that says that is what we have to do, but I think of my son and all of the positive things that come out of having such a big family with several grandparents. His birthmother has even taken him for the day on several occasions. It is just a trust thing, and eventually it comes down to knowing that you can trust the birthmother because she is the last person who would want to do harm to her child. I feel for anyone that this has happened to, and hopefully more adoptive parents will feel secure enough to allow open adoptions.