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For all prospective parents PLEASE read this story about a unhappy korean adoptee. Please understand that not all parents understand the racial and social responsibility for raising a kid different from themselves. Before you adopt consider ALL these things before you take those major steps in becoming a parent. As a parent you have to understand this is a living breathing human being, not a doll or a cute foreign child you've temporarily taken under your wing. In most cases they will be part of you for the rest of your life. Not all adoption stories end happily, as a korean adoptee myself i've met with dozens of koreans who talked about the extreme identity and psychiatric issues they've had. Many have faced discrimination within their own families, racism, and ostracization as this letter shows.. [url]http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/SITE/data/html_dir/2003/12/17/200312170020.asp[/url]
Please stop sending Korean babies for adoption to Sweden and other countries. Why? From my point of view as an adoptee, I want to emphasize several reasons. The first is racism and discrimination against Korean women which, as an adult woman with an East Asian appearance, I and other Asian women face on a daily basis. From Sweden, and other Western countries, there is a flourishing sex tourism to East and Southeast Asia. Some travel agencies have specialized in these kinds of tours and the horrifying business is affecting the adoptees. We become victims of this tragic sex tourism, as we are perceived and treated as prostitutes in Swedish society. Many Korean adopted women have been assaulted by words such as "whore, go home to your country," and some adoptees have even been attacked physically by Swedish people. The racism among Swedes toward Asians is very strong. This affects our lives and is a big burden on our sense of happiness and quality of life. Secondly, there is racism against Korean men. The majority of Korean males are also victims of racism as most Asian adopted males in Sweden are not married. Racism in Sweden includes an unwillingness to share their lives with a spouse with a foreign appearance and Korean men suffer tremendously in not finding a wife. As Koreans they are also shorter and they have black hair and brown eyes. In Sweden the ideal is still the Swedish appearance of tall males with lots of muscles and a Swedish blond, blue-eyed appearance. For the first time in Sweden, results of scientific research have also shown that the rate of suicide among adoptees is five times higher than among Swedes, and the adoptees are also more often treated at psychiatric clinics. There is also racism in the labor market. According to the latest research, 50 percent of adoptees were unemployed during the past year. It is well known that immigrants from Africa and the Middle East are rejected on the labor market. The bond between adoptees and their Swedish adoptive family seems to become more fragile and full of conflict over the years. Maybe the lack of a blood connection and our Asian appearance remind them of not having a biological child. A lot of adoptive parents withdraw themselves from the relationship with the adopted child when they grow up, especially in those families where they already have their own biological children. I have talked with many adoptees who have severed their contact with their adoptive family because of mistreatment and abuse. It is a great strain for them to take the decision to break up with their families. We adoptees try to support each other but that is not enough. We want Korea to stop sending more babies to the West. We do not want more Korean children to come to Western societies just to suffer as much as we have suffered and are still doing. The only service adoption agencies in Korea provide that I think is adequate is helping adult adoptees to find their biological parents or roots. In my view, adoption agencies should, instead of sending babies to the West, help children in their own country and help single mothers provide for their existence. I am pleased to hear that Korea is slowly changing its attitude regarding single motherhood, but I am sad and angry that adoption agencies still visit hospitals in order to persuade pregnant mothers to leave their babies for adoption. As long as there exists strong racism in the receiving countries, where we adoptees face discrimination in our daily lives, and as long as there are no adequate resources in the recipient countries to meet adoptees' special needs, I and other adoptees want to stop international adoption altogether. How many more suicides among adoptees will there be before Korea stops adoption to the West? The suffering we are doomed to, as lifelong outsiders and as a discriminated group in Swedish society, is larger and deeper than the suffering we would have faced growing up in Korea. The hardships would, in that case, only be there during adolescence, but as adults we would be married, living an ordinary life as good citizens helping Korea in its development. Korea is no longer a poor country, but a highly developed and successful nation. There is no longer any economic reason for Korea to send babies to the West. Korea needs its own babies who will grow up and help the country in every area of the society. It is a loss for Korea to send its beautiful and talented babies to the West to a life of huge suffering and with a high suicide rate. I would myself have preferred to stay in Korea instead of being adopted and doomed to a lifelong status as an outsider, becoming a lifelong object of racism and discrimination. Many other Korean adoptees share my point of view. By Susanne Brink The writer studies theology in Uppsala, Sweden. Her e-mail address is susanne_brink @bredband.net- Ed.
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Ok I tried to ignor this post due to it's negative conotation, but I can't. First of all let me first say thank you god that I live in the United States. Also, the parents that enter into adoption whether it be korean, russian any international or domestic adoption do not do so lightly. Many people are required to educate themselves on all aspects of adoption including transracial issues. They sometimes have to attend seminars classes and have may home visits. It is truley unfortunate that some children in interacial families have had such horrific experiences that they find the only way out is suicide. But I do not see this as any kind of trend in the United States. I also am a Korean adoptee from just over 30 years ago. I have never felt any of what the original poster wrote. I have many adopted Korean friends in transracial families as well as african american, vietimese and from china oh and hispanic heritage. Yes the parents have an awsome reponsibility for ensuring their children feel loved and are adjusted and accepted. But it is not all doom an gloom. Lastly, we just adopted a beautiful little Korean boy last month to add to our family. We also have a biological son as well. I applaud anyone who chooses the path of adoption to give a child a new beginning and a wonderful life. My own birth mother stated that the reason for giving me uo for adoption was exactly that.
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Ok I tried to ignor this post due to it's negative connotation, but I can't. First of all let me first say thank you god that I live in the United States. Also, the parents that enter into adoption whether it be korean, russian any international or domestic adoption do not do so lightly. Many people are required to educate themselves on all aspects of adoption including transracial issues. They sometimes have to attend seminars classes and have many home visits. It is truley unfortunate that some children in interacial families have had such horrific experiences that they find the only way out is suicide. But I do not see this as any kind of trend in the United States. I also am a Korean adoptee from just over 30 years ago. I have never felt any of what the original poster wrote. I have many adopted Korean friends in transracial families as well as african american, vietimese and from china oh and hispanic heritage. Yes the parents have an awsome reponsibility for ensuring their children feel loved and are adjusted and accepted. But it is not all doom an gloom. Lastly, we just adopted a beautiful little Korean boy last month to add to our family. We also have a biological son as well. I applaud anyone who chooses the path of adoption to give a child a new beginning and a wonderful life. My own birth mother stated that the reason for giving me uo for adoption was exactly that.
[I also am a Korean adoptee from just over 30 years ago. I have never felt any of what the original poster wrote. I have many adopted Korean friends in transracial families as well as african american, vietimese and from china oh and hispanic heritage. ] Hello, I am an African American woman and I am considering adopting children in a few years. I was interested in the above comment you made. I was a bit confused about the word 'transracial.' I know the word 'biracial' but I do not know 'transracial.' Also, I was curious to know if you meant that you knew Korean people that had been adopted by African Americans? Thank you
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Maybe it's just me, but I found the tone and implications of this post offensive.I did not come to my decision to adopt internationally lightly and do not regard my potential child as a "toy" or a "doll". I also do not see myself as a saviour of any kind. I am adopting for one reason only: to love and nurture a child, as I am sure are the others on this board. Yes, sadly, there are cases of adoptees being abused, and many have not had it easy; I do not wish to diminish that fact at all. However, for every one adoption sadly gone wrong for the child, there are many, many more that have gone very, very right. Yes, the Scandinavian countries are very "white" in their physical look, but to make it sound like racial prejudice is the norm and that a child of a different hue or appearance will automatically be mistreated is ridiculous. I teach and see kids teased daily for everything from a dirty shirt to being too thin, to being overweight and everything in between. It is the parent's responsibility, whether the child is adopted, or biological, a step-child etc to advocate for their child as best they can and, if nothing else, to make home safe and loving, so that if some bad stuff happens out in the world, that child always knows he/she has a haven. As for persuading young mothers to give up their children- yes, that is wrong, and it is one of the reasons the Canadian gov't no longer allows adoptions from certain countries. But again, to assume that all adoptees are found in this way is ludicrous. Each of us who have made the decision to adopt, are committed to learning about that child's country of origin and traditions, I hope. And, if not, we should be, but to "warn" us of the grave wrong we may be imposing by adopting is offensive, as I have said.