Looking for other NSW adoptive parents for support

Sorry I can't help with your question.... but since you've just been admitted, how do you go about it? i'm not looking to adopt right away but it is something I'm definately interested in over the next few years. Does the pool only handle babies or older children too? Does it include people that are trying to adopt from overseas as well? How long did it take for you to get admitted? What sorts of costs were involved? (feel free not to answer that one if you're not comfortable doing so, I know it's a bit invasive) I know it is way off the topic of the forum, but I've no idea really about any of that stuff so any help at all would be amazing!

Hi, My husband and I have just begun the local adoption process in NSW - you are way ahead of us, we just put in our expression of interest form. How did you fing the process - was it very invasive, was it hard?What chances have the given you to get placed? Have you gone with DoCS or one of the private agencies? I am happy to be a sounding board as I will probably need one myself. It helps to have somebody who knows what you are going through.

Hi there, my husband and I were approved in November 2003 and are obviously in the same boat as you. How did you find the process??? I thought it was gruelling, but considering the end result it will be well worth it. I guess the hardest thing is trying, like us, to find someone who can relate the matter and discuss the easy days and the heartbreak days when you feel that you will never be placed......but we are getting there! Look forward to hearing from you soon. K

Hi cruiser1, Congratulations on getting onto the pool. We are still waiting from DoCS to hear if we get into the seminar. We are also looking at Centrecare. So you thought the assessment was "greulling" - well that scares me a little. I would be greatful for any advice you could give me on the process, I would love to talk to somebody who doesn't automatically say you should try some more to have your own kids or your sure to get a baby, just look at you. NOBODY we talk to (even if they are just trying to be positive ) has a realistic idea how really HARD it is to be placed. Can I ask you what you think of not being able to name your baby if you are placed and getting your baby at 5 - 6 months? Hope to hear from you soon Molly

Hi there, great to hear from you! Man you guys sound like you are having the same problems we had. My husband and I have only just gone into our 30's and everyone just ignores us or tells us we have a long time to get our family together and to let the older ones have a go??? What's that about? Never think that adoption is about equality, it is a very fickle business! So I understand where you are coming from - apart from our own friends and family, there is not one single person that I went to our seminar with who would even talk to us, so I ended up searching the web looking for someone to talk to about it and lucky me I found you... In response to your question about not being able to rename a child if we were placed with them...at the end of the day I don't see that it matters too much, I mean the significant thing is that you offer it your family and friends and they take on your surname anyway, so its six of one and half a dozen of the other really, as long as the name is not something hideous and don't forget you can always give them a nickname - one that you have thought up, so there is a few options. Just stick to it and always stay positive! Each step seems more daunting than the next, but never lose sight of what you want to achieve - and that is a family. There is so much I would like to tell you but, obviously for your eyes only. Not sure what the rules are about giving you my home email?? Anyway, take care I was really excited when I heard from you and I am excited that you are on the path and making your way to a happy family. Will write to you soon. Kim:D

Hi Kim, Did you recieve my personal messages- if you did I will send you my email address in the next one. I'm glad there is someone we will be able to talk to and who will relate with our problems. I called and they said I should recieve confirmation about our EOI and they said it looked positive - they are having a seminar in September - god I hope we are invited. I was really upset at first about the naming thing but who cares if you get a baby. Were the other couples a lot older than you guys - were they the one's saying you should give the older ones a chance. If so, shame on them. I know we have had enough grief and sadness regarding trying to become parents - losing three babies will do that. I don't judge others for their wish to be parents - they should'nt judge me. Better go, hope to hear from you soon. Molly23

Hi Molly and Kim, I am so happy to have logged back on here to see there are messages!! I stopped logging on because no on had answered me. I just thought to try again today and here you both are!! My hubby and I have been in the pool since March when we sent in our profile for the birth mother's to see. Every day feels like a year at times and I would love to keep in contact with you both. I am 29 and my husband is 33. I am a primary school teacher and LOVE my job. Our application process took about a year. We found it totally fine. No problems at all. It certainly made us look closely at ourselves and our marriage and our lives! Now we just wait.........and wait...... so I am thrilled to have some buddies in the same boat and would love to be a sounding board for your frustrations and joys too. Who knows, perhaps we can start a playgroup one day! Fingers crossed!! Anyway, I look forward to hearing from you, Hugs Katie:D

Hi Katie and Molly, Isn't it great to finally have someone to talk to ? Anyway, this is the third time I have tried to get a reply on here so I will make this one short and sweet. I think we should all meet up, but somehow I don't think it would be wise to post our detail on this web thingo...so what do we do? Put your thinking caps on girls. I have a treat for you anyway, I have been plugged into Foxtel for ages and every now and then a series on adoption comes on for the weekend, and I tape it. I would love for you to see the series as it is very enriching, but again how do I get details to send them to you? Let me know what you come up with and I will plug in again in a few days to see where we are at. Take care and nice to meet you Katie and glad you are amongst us friends. Kim xx

Hi everyone, I am in the very early stages of an international adoption. I'm adopting as a single. I'd like to be in contact with you guys too! Rebecca

For heavens sakes you guys!! Just enable your private messaging, share your emails and get together. You are all so lucky to be in the same place on the map, and in your lives! However, pleeeeeease don't go and leave me all alone on this forum. No-one ever wants to reply here. I think it's because NZ is SO SMALL, and adoption happens so rarely here, and even more rarely in Oz. That competitive edge. Hardly anyone spoke to us at our adoption classes either. Especially the older couples. I can't say I blame them, but it's a bit insecure really. You get placed because of who you are, not how old or young you are, or how much money you have. Best of luck to you all!!

Hey - I check out these boards from time to time, and just wondered if any of you have made any progress with adoptions? Anyone had a placement or any other exciting news? We were approved last November and the waiting seems eternal. I live in hope. Best wishes from NZ. Would love to have an update. Lou

I'm in Auckland. We are just about to finish our profile. It was heaps harder to write than I thought it would be. Once we hand it in, we will enter the pool and begin the waiting game. How long have you actually been in the pool for? I really hope it happens quickly but I realise the reality is probably the opposite. Our case worker seems to think because of our ages (27 & 35) that there is a good chance of an early placement. I can only hope and dream of course.

Good luck to you! We moved from local adoption to intercountry and are MUCH happier now. Should be next March when we have our lovely daughter. Sorry but age doesn't really help in local adoption. It didn't help us. I was 29 whilst we were in the local program. There just aren't many babies through local but I wish you all the luck!! xoxox

Bonny_sydney123, Well, I just put in my EOI for the international program. I sat on it for a long time and gave it a lot of thought to make sure I was making the right decision, and now I'm satisfied that I am. So I sent it last week and got my receipt from DOCS on Monday, so the wheels are finally set in motion. Rebecca