Is Anyone Else Frustrated?????

hey, i was also born in '85 and have had a hard time finding my birth mom as well. im sure everyone will tell you that it takes time and patience when searching... when i first started searching for my b-mom, i expected to find her with-in a few days... a year or so has gone by and i still havent found her. sure there have been times when ive said to myself "maybe i should just give up" but i know that i cant let frustration get the best of me. who knows-- maybe the day i decide to give up, is the day my mom starts looking for me. If you truly want to find your birth family you need to take into consideration that these reunions take time. unfortunatley you and i have to wait and hope for the best. until then, feel free to share your feelings or anything you'd like with me and the rest of us here. we are all supportive and many of us are in the same boat. good luck to you and keep that chin up!! ~Jen~

I know the frustrations you are feeling....I on the other hand am the birthmom searching for my daughter. I started posting my information five years ago, incase she started looking it would be easy for her to find me. Do you know if it was a lawyer or and agency that handled your adoption??? Has your mother given you ALL the info she does have? My daughter's adoptive parents and I exchanged letters before she was born and I gave them TONS of info about myself but was NOT allowed to give my name or place of residence. You say you have posted EVERYWHERE, so have I ......from time to time I will use yahoo or google search engines and type in my daughter's DOB and see what comes up. I am hoping one day when she begins searching, she will do this because it will pull up several posts I have left for her. Try it from every search engine you find and see what you come up with. You can also look for a group like on yahoo that has a registry and support group for the State where you were born. I hope some of this helps you, let me know...... Kimberly b-mom to Amber Leigh born 5/5/85 Rock Hill, SC

I HOPE U FIND YOUR MOTHER, WE ARE KINDA IN THE SAME SPOT I'M LOOKING FOR MY SON WHO WAS TOOK FROM ME ,HIS ADOPTED PARENTS KNOW ME BUT HE KNOWS NOTHING OF ME AND IT HURTS. I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR YEARS SO HAS HIS BROTHER. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR SEARCH.

i know it is very very frustrating, but please dont give up,, i am a birth mom in search of my daughter born in sept of 86, like u her amom isnt giving her all the info, she was told she was born in 85, and they will not allow me to contact her, so just keep trying,, dont give up

I am a birthmom trying to find my son born 1985. However, here in Tennessee, I have been informed that I can't request anything until he's 21!!! Ahhh the frustration!!! Thank goodness for this forum for us to be able to let out our frustrations and get the support!!! I do hope that you continue, and that you find your birthmom also!! Good luck to you all!!!:)

it is very frustrating i am looking for my daughter but only like for a month its been hell i cant sleep i forget to eat its like a rollercaster ride i get alot of clues and im so excited but then they turn out to be dead ends i am online like 10 hrs a day ive looked every where i thought i got on geneology.com tonite and saw where she was also looking for me have you asked for a search angel i have had so much help trying to find her and i think i may have im waitin on a phone call ! but look i have some off the wall far out ways ive searched maybe i can give u some ideas ill try to help just email me at Breezydayla@aol.com ok but dont give up!! or we can chat if you want !! i have other kids your age one 24 one 15 id like to help :D

If you think your mom is stubborn be glad you don't have mine!! She and My adoptive Father have all of my birthmother's info -- name,address--everything and refuse to give it to me until they "decide when they think I am ready for information that big". Talk about frustrating!!! So don't feel bad at all....

I know exactly how you feel...my a-mom has information on my birthmother that she won't give me either. Its frustrating- and it definitely causes a breach in trust and a strain in our relationship. Its ironic- she is afraid that if I search for and potentially reunite with my bmom that my relationship with my amom will be neglected and suffer. So she hides the information she has from me, which probably causes more harm than if she were just honest with me from the beginning.

Please don't give up...I only started my search on her 20th birthday...9-19...I didn't want the emotional drama that is coming with this and so I didn't start earlier...just when you stop is when she might start her search for you...please hang on.Rhonda MillerDaughter-DOB:9-19-1985, Born in Wichita, KSAgency: Gentle Shepherd-Olathe, KSrhonmil@hotmail.com

I think it is quite easy for birthmothers to find their children. However, it is very difficult for an adoptee to find his./her birthmother. We have decided that the birthmothers likely know we are looking for them and just do not want contact at this time. We will wait until they look for us. :flower:

I am a birth sister looking for adoptee girl born 10-28-1985, what little I know Bout her is from my grandma, my mom has some info but she has mental health issues and it’s hard to talk about something like this with her. I don’t know if she’s afraid of rejection, but like my mom said, we don’t know if she knows (although by age 30 I’d think so...) and it’s not up to us to tell her. But I’m about ready to do the ansestry dna submission just so I can try everything in my power. Maybe it’ll work, but if I don’t try, it’ll never work. Just keep trying!