How can I approach half siblings

If they are older then you it would seem odd that they not know about you. Is it a huge age gap? I am sure they would be happy to know they had another sister. It may be hard for them to accept at first if they don't already know. Best of luck in your journey.

Thanks for your reply. The situation seems to have been that my birthmother was about 40 yrs old. It said that she had no idea she was expecting because there was no weight gain or other obvious signs such as morning sickness. She thought she was going through the change of life. I was delivered at her home during the night, about 11:30. She evidentally phoned a friend in another town and she put her in touch with a doctor and social worker. She had previously been divorced and was having to support her other children and was affraid that if anyone was to find out she would loose her children to her ex-husband and then loose her job. This past Thanksgiving holiday I phoned who I thought may have been her only other living relative which was her sister. To say the least I threw her for a loop. She had no knowledge of me nor did she think anyone else did. She took down my name and all of my information and said that if anything came to mind about that time frame she would let me know. If no one knew about me then, I'm not so sure that she would have told anyone later. I am pretty sure my b/mom passed away in 1991 so there is no way to be sure. Sorry to go on and on. The circumstances are, to me, a little touchy. Thanks again.

I understand the desire to want to approach your sibling and wanting to do it the right way. Here is the thing, If your birth mom has passed away, yes there will be an initial shock but, there will be some happiness too because they will have another piece of there mother back. You must look at the positive of the this. Most adoptees are worried about violating the moms rights by contacting the kids. In your case mom has passed away and your brothers and sisters are all you have left. Take the chance. They are all you have left and the only chance you have left to get to know your birthmom. If it were me, this is how I would handle it. I am a birthsibling that found 1 adopted sibling that I knew about and had 1 adopted sibling find me that I knew nothing about. Start out by sending a card to the family that you just heard that your mother passed away with pictures of yourself. with a nice letter. and condolences. Make sure you tell them that you know this must come as a shock to them and your sorry about that but you would like the opportunity to get to know your biological mother through them. Explain what you know about the adoption and that you don't want to interfere in there lives just an opportunity to meet them. Trust me My uncle Jerry who is 60 when he met my sister Kate who is 36 for the 1st time and he knew the whole time and my mother didn't think he did cried tears of joy. Its not as bad as you may think it will be. You never know unless you try and we aren't dealing with hostile teens we are dealing with mature adults, that have lost there mother and I am sure many other family members and will welcome any resemblence of there mother. Best advice I can give you is Take the chance and write the letter. Send them you address and phone number see what happens. God Bless! Terri

Hi I, too, found that my bmom had passed away when I searched. I contacted one of my bsisters first and she was soo excited. We talked for a while and she broke the news to the other brothers and sisters who also did not know about me. Everyone reacted differently to the news but they have welcomed me into the family and it is awesome. We never know until we try what kind of reaction there will be. Surprisingly, the horrible reaction came from a bcousin! So we have to be prepared for anything. But if you don't try, you will never know and always wonder. You could be missing out on something wonderful. Best wishes to you. Snuffie