single parent ( over 50) adoption

I am a single "older" woman (55), although I dont think of myself as "old", and I have just had 15 year old placed with me a few months ago. I was interested in a girl between the ages of 12 and 15, and mild emotional at the most. Since I've had my new daughter here I do realize that what I have been told about these children not being mature for their age is very true. My daughter just turned 16 and I believe that her behavior and maturity is like that of a 13 year old. What age are you specifically interested in? I went through a local Pennsylvania agency and my caseworker didn't seem to have a problem with any age. I was interested in a little older because of my work situation. I wanted to take a child that could be left alone on occasion if I had to go on an appointment or she could come home from school and be alright alone for an hour or so if need be. I thought I may have a problem finding babysitters. NJ

I am interested in a child who is pre-school age, around 3-5 years old. I would take even younger or a little older. I have also been advised that Kazakhstan could be another country to think about. Jam

Hi, Your profile says you are in New York. There are special rules there that limit the agencies you can work with so I would start by checking that out (I think it is that they need to be licensed in New York). The state of New Jersey rule was you shouldn't turn 65 before the child was 18 (do the math) to adopt a child. You don't specify race - if you don't want to do state adoption, then Spence Chapin might work for AA or biracial (I don't know if they do toddler adoption) and am not recommending them - just suggesting you look into them. Hope this helps Cynthia

You might like to PM sak9645 - she adopted an infant from China when she was 51.

Thank you so much for the information. I will try to contact her. Thanks again. Jamuny

Hi, Jamuny, Many older and single people find that domestic adoption is difficult. With private and infant/young child adoption, the birthmother often has a say in the type of family chosen to parent the child she is placing. And, let's face it, while some young women will place with an older and/or single person, most will choose a young, married couple. Adoption from foster care is a wonderful option for many people, especially because it is virtually cost-free. However, most of the children who are available are over age three and/or have significant special needs. And the state may be willing to consider an older or single person only if he/she is willing to take a hard to place child. On the other hand, there are some countries that have liberal age and marital status requirements. China used to be one of them, but I wouldn't put it in that category for now. For one thing, China requires agencies to limit the number of single parent dossiers submitted to 8% of their total China dossiers. For another, China generally won't place a child with a single over 50 now. But there are other options. Ethiopia has very liberal requirements, and singles and older people are usually welcomed. It also has very low fees -- some singles have adopted for about $10K. Of course, you have to be comfortable with raising a Black child in American society, where racism exists on the part of both Whites and Blacks. And you have to choose from only five agencies that are currently authorized by the Ethiopian government to place children from that country. Fortunately, the five agencies are well-known and have been doing adoptions for many years. Haiti may also be an option down the road, but because of political instability, the State Department is advising prospective parents not to travel there at this time. In the past, Haiti has been flexible on age and marital status, and fairly low-cost. Many singles and older people are choosing Guatemala. One reason is that young babies are available. Another is that travel is very brief and easy. The biggest drawback is the average cost, which can range upwards of $25,000. The main reason is that the agencies must work with Guatemalan attorneys, who tend to charge high fees. Most other countries accept singles -- Korea is the most notable exception -- but have difficulty when singles want to adopt infants. However, since you are looking for a preschooler, you should have no problem with some of them. You mentioned Kazakhstan. It is very popular with adoptive families because both White and Asian children are available, and because the care of the children is usually pretty good. However, many people find that the length of travel is a concern. Some families may have to be in Kaz for over a month. Sharon

Sharon, Thanks for all you information. I have already gathered together most of the information you have sent. It seems that I no matter where I go to adopt a small child, I am either too old or too single...and of course, the kaz trip is too long for a single person traveling alone... Bulgaria is open to me, though...I need to decide soon. I thank you for responding, Sharon. Wish me luck. Sincerely, Judy