help need to reverse adoption

This brings to mind a question I have. I was adopted at birth by two wonderful loving people. My amother died when I was eight and my father remarried. His new wife legally adopted me and I was issued an amended birth certificate with her listed as my mother. My life with her was living hell. Even though I am now an adult (age 60), before I die, I would like to have this adoption annulled and my first adoption reinstated so that I can be buried in the cemetery next to my amother who died when I was 8. Is this possible? :confused:

No, it is not possible to have a legal adoption annulled. No way to reinstate an earlier birth certificate. But why would you have to do that to be buried beside someone? Maybe looking into the arrangements at the yard where she's buried would give you a different solution. Usually, those plots are purchased and used by people regardless of relationships.

It's a family plot in a small pre Revolutinary War cemetery. You must be family or marry into the family to be buried there. Some years back, an in-law had her sister buried in the plot without the family's knowledge. The family was quite upset about it. They are now requiring proof of relationship in order to be buried in the plot. :(

The only other option then, would be to have another family member on your mothers side adopt you. That would fulfil the need to be a family member for burial in the family plot, plus give you ties back to your mothers family. Sorry, I wish I had the magic answer...its not the one you wanted, but its one that will work :)

Brandy, I loved your reply! I am 60 years old. I can just imagine what the court would do with that one. I guess I could have myself declared feeble first and then maybe the court would allow me to be adopted; but I rather suspect that it would think I have Alzheimers and would either comit me to an old folks home or compel one of my 6 grown children to take care of me. Thank you, though, for making me laugh. This is a very depressing situation for me and the chuckle was good for me. :)

No no! Adult Adoption takes place ALL the time! Seriously, look into it! Find out what the laws are in your state regarding age and what not... When I was researching, I found that in the state I was looking at, there only had to be an age difference (one way or the other didnt matter)...so look into it! If it works out, then voila!

Nemo, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I hate the thought of an adoptive mom being so evil. Creamation (spelling?) is always a choice. It would be hard for anyone to remove your ashes from your mother's grave. Good Luck and God Bless You!!!

:) :) :) Brandy, You are pulling my leg, right? All I need is an 80+ year old couple who is related to my mother and is healthy enough that a court would award them custody of me. And then, if we all remain healty and none of us dies, after the required length of time, the court will finalize my adoption. Small problem... none of my mother's relatives in the correct age bracket are still living. This is like a Ripley's believe it or not. If I had only opened my mouth when the social worker asked me about my second amother before my adoption was finalized. As a shy 9 or 10 year old who had recently lost the only mother she ever knew, I sat quietly there and let the social worker think everything was okay. A few words of truth from my mouth might have nixed the adoption and I would not be in the jamb I'm in today. I guess I shouldn't let it bother me so much. When you're dead, you're dead and your body really doesn't know where it's buried. Marelle :) :) :)

:) :) :) rights, Thank you for your suggestion. It's a good one and as long as my kids know where I'm buried, that's good enough for me. These laws are something else, though. Who but an adoptee would have to go through all this insanity just to be buriied. Marelle :) :) :)

nemo, BrandyHagz is NOT pulling your leg. An adult CAN be adopted - usually by anyone he/she chooses! There are no custody issues, no notifying the people currently on your birth certificate, no needing to be declared feeble or in need of a guardian, nothing! (There's also no waiting period in most states, the adoption is often final before you leave the courtroom after asking the judge to allow it.) Think about it - what significance do the two adults on your birth certificate have now. Practically nothing. They are legally your next of kin, they'd have a say in your treatment if you were incapacitated in the hospital, they have the right to contest your will if you outlive them, and that's about it. Any new set of adoptive parents you choose, assuming they accept, would have only those same rights. Wanting the ties to a previous family that have been disallowed because of an adoption to be made legal once again is a perfectly acceptable reason for wanting to be adopted - judges probably hear it all the time. Although most people who go through an adult adoption are in the 18 - 25 year old age range, there is not usually an upper age cutoff for it. And check your state's laws - there may be a loophole saying any adult can adopt any adult, regardless of age! If your state has that loophole, your new adoptive "parents" would not even have to be older than you. I know you think this sounds like fantasy, but it isn't. An adult can usually be adopted by anyone he/she chooses. The new "parents" take over the responsibilities of any parents to an adult, which is practically nil. That's also why there's no homestudy, no waiting period, no social worker involvement... It's really pretty easy if you can find someone to agree to it.

one warning about this--be sure to see how it affects inheritance rights -- you don't want someone to have a claim on your estate or to have an unfair claim on someone else's. Could you, however, get your parents original marriage certificate, your mother's death certificate and obituary and your step mother/father's marriage certificate to show you were born during your parent's marriage and subsequently adopted. If there was an obituary for your mother it probably listed you as a survivor. Or perhaps the local paper ran a birth announcement? The library in your home town probably has access to old newspapers.

DianeS and spaypets, Thanks for your input. Since all three of my adoptive parents are dead, it is certainly something to consider, although in Louisiana, I know my adoptive parents would be entitled to a portion of my estate. Sometimes I wonder where the common sense of our law makers has gone. This whole concept is really a bit ludicrous. Marelle

5 years ago I had my daughter adopted by my ex-husband. Now I still stand by that adoption, but the birth-fatherhas recently been released from prison, and has convinced himself that he can get the adoption reversed. His rights were teminated by the court, and the adoption went through without a hitch. Is there any possibility that he may be able to get it reversed, even though it was done completely legal?

If this is the case, then no. Once a legal adoption is finalized, it is impossible to have an adoption overturned. The key word being 'legal' - there are a lot of things that must be done in order to make an adoption legal.

I started to worry because, if he were able to do something lie that, then it would be taking away the only father she has ever known. He recieve the paperwork and never responded in the 20 days that the court gives you, his rights were terminated and then 6 months later the papers were re-submitted for finalization. I don't want to put my daughter through anything that would break her heart.