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After 5 years of waiting, we are adopting a sweet baby, but we've run into a jam. The birth mother still wants to continue with the adoption process, but the birth father now wishes to contest the adoption. He's in prison and will be there for at least another year, but after initially saying that he'd gladly sign the adoption consent papers, he changed his mind. His wife and he feel that they should adopt the baby, but the birth mother still wants to allow us to adopt the baby.
We have a lawyer and our social worker on the case, but does anyone have any advice on anything we can do to encourage the father to consent to the adoption? Waiting is so hard, especially not knowing the outcome. I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts -- thank you!
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My first question would be, what does your attorney say about the bfather's legal rights while he is in prison for another year?
The only other thing I could suggest is warmly having a letter relayed with your concerns for the best interest of the baby getting to grow up with a mom and a dad. Ultimately I would pray real hard that God would help him see the best interest for the baby.
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Other than ensuring that he has access to counseling, and ensuring you've got an attorney experienced in adoption issues, there is not a lot you can do here. This is a legal risk adoption.
Since he is not married (apparently) to this child's biological mother, he is a putative father. He may have to provide proof via a DNA test that he is this child's biological father to proceed, many attorneys will challenge this. This is usually done at his expense. He may also have to engage the services of an attorney to assert his rights in court.
If paternity is established, then the courts would examine whether he can provide a stable environment for a child. This is usually done via a home study. Incarceration, especially if it's not a 'life' or extremely long term sentence, is not an automatic reason for involuntary termination of parental rights. There is a spouse involved, the courts may find she is capable of providing a stable environment while he is incarcerated. There are so many factors to consider.
Bottom line: be cautious, guard your heart. Should he decide to assert his parental rights, things can get very rough and you may not be able to parent this child.
Sorry I can't be more positive.
Regina