FASD adoption in alberta

Okay, so how were you told that you had FASD? How did you handle it? Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this? Do you find you have to resist the tempation to use FASD as a reason to not succeed? Were you looked at as different by other classmates? How did you handle this?

I was told at a young age. I suggest you start to tell your child about drinking during pregnancy by the time they are three and start to tell them why certian things happen to them and then tell them they have FASD (eventually.) It takes time but the child should know. Its best to tell them at a young age so they know when they are older. I didn't understand at first but later it didn't bother me. When I was a teenager I wanted my dad to stop talking about FASD and I wished he would stop telling me about it... but it didn't effect me in any negitive way. When I was a child my class-mates were rude to me because I didn't always fit in, but I had no physical features of FASD at all. I did have trouble playing games with other kids and I had problems getting along. Genrally my class mates were nice to me and didn't think there was anything wrong with me. But when they were rude to me I had temper tantrums and I did bite a child once... I think I scratched a child too... but this was in my 4-6 age range. I never have used the FASD diagnosis as an excuse not to suceed. When I was younger my teachers asked me why I was angry sometimes, I did say I had FASD... because I didn't understand fully about my actions and that I was responsible for them. But I don't use that as an excuse, I do believe I have the ability to do everything anybody else can do... some of it may take more time but I still try my best. :)

Thanks so much for your honesty. I hope it will help prevent us from making mistakes. Can you tell me specific things that helped, or give us ideas on what would have made issues easier to deal with? Like fitting in, is it better to let people know that you have FASD? Or is it better to only tell if it becomes necessary (with kids and adults)? What about with school? You said that one on one sometimes worked, what would have worked better? Would a home-schooling situation be better? Thanks again, Spring

HI... Things that made issues easier to handel (or would have) would be if the teachers or whoever wouldn't be like "DONT DO THIS OR THIS WILL HAPPEN" because that is the worst and I mean WORST thing to do to FASD kids. I personally don't think telling the KIDS that the child has FASD. But DO tell the teachers because you will need to advocate for your child and you will need to fight for them because the teachers are under educated or at least some are. In school one on one worked with me sometimes but not always because sometimes I wanted independant time. I personally think home schooling would have been a better option. Or there is an option where you have the child at home for half of the day and at school for the rest of the day... that is a good idea for FASD kids. I know that would have been better for me... hope I helped. ~ good luck

That is such a great idea (half and half). I would never have even thought that was a possibility, but I am definitely going to look into it. Thanks for being so honest with us. You have made this seem so much less intimindating. Spring

Oh, and why not tell them "Do not do this because..." I thought repetition was something that was recommended. Spring

Well, even though its reccomended its not always a good thing. In most cases with FASD children it doesn't work... "don't do this or else this will happen..." that just makes them want to prove it... they want you to do it... even if they don't know it. Its really a bad idea... a better thing to do is... "If you do this this will happen..." in a positive way... like say that if you be good you will get a candy... or something like that. Its better to be positive with them... :)

Okay, that makes sense. Just like kids without FASD really, reverse psychology can sometimes be a parents best friend! So are you trying to adopt? I just noticed it says trying to adopt at the bottom of your messages. Thanks again, Spring

Yes I'm trying to adopt! We have a baby girl who we might adopt *crosses fingers.* The social worker is coming to see us next week!!! :) good luck

Congratulations. Good luck with everything. Spring

Thank-you and good luck to you as well. Let me know what happens. :)

just some info from an adoptee, dont take it personally. Growing up and being adopted was o.k for me i guess i was a handful for my adoptive parents it got to the point where they wanted to put me in a foster home they never took me anywhere or give me anything i really wanted so i ran away alot and i would cry for my real mommy when i was little. Now im 27 and my adoptive family dont even call me i call them but even if i didnt i guess i would never hear from them. Now i am really alone with no family but i am happy cuz i have a husband who loves me and 4 children and my husbands family loves me like a daughter so i am lucky that way. this little story brings me to say this to you even after they get older you are still their family this is all they will know when it comes to mom or dad brother or sister and brother when they get older, that is when they will understand about family. and when they get my age if you are still hounding them on the phone (thats if they dont live with you) where are you, when can we get together. that is what adoption is all about being family for life not just for 18 years and then see ya later like they dont even know you. so if your prepared for that kind of comitment then best of luck. all the best to you **********

Hi, It is too bad that your adoptive family treats you that way, because that is not how most adoptive families are. Unfortunately, many families adopt for the wrong reasons and their adoptive children end up feeling the way that you do. That is not something that my husband and I are planning on. We are more concernced with long term health problems and how will they be dealt with as we age, because we do not want any of our potential children to end up in the system. Thanks, Spring

well i guess if you plan to adopt you plan to adopt all matters concerned. you treat all matters as if they were your own you just do your best and all other things is up to God. so whatever you decide you do whats best for you nobody knows the outcomes you just give it your all and see where it takes you life is full of risks and choices so do what you think is right. whenever one door closes another will open just rember that.

i was a roomate with a fasd girl who as 18 years old. she was funny and had a great sense of fun. i didn't matter to me to she had fasd.