sending troubled teen to a program

My 16 year old is currently sitting in Juvinile detention. His lawyer told me he's running into many kids in this age group that thinks they are above the law and can't be touched. He says my son can land into adult court very easily. I'm also researching to try to find the right treetment program for him should he be released. I've not been impressed with what I've found and not sure how to pay for it if his subsidy doesn't pay. The tough love program gave me suggestions at one time(sorry, my computer ate the website when it crashed). Proably if you typed toughlove into the search it would come up. You might try there. Good luck.

Hi Vicy82 Thanks for the suggestion. I will look at the website very soon. I appreciate your reply. We've researched a number of programs and think we've found one that will fit in Tennessee. Cathy

Your son sounds a lot like me when I was 16. A program will be helpful, bc then he'll be able to speak to his peers and explain what's really going on. I know I didn't want to tell my parents why I was so angry and lashing out because I was afraid they wouldn't understand me. When we had group, the doctor sat in the corner and took notes everytime we spoke, that way they could make a diagnosis w/out having to worry if we were holding anything back. As I much as I hated the place, and to this day have horrible memories of that place, it really did help. They have a "level" system, which I don't see any way possible of manipulating just to get out, because in order to get out you have to do family therapy a number of times before they'll even CONSIDER releasing you (my mother refused it at first, so of course that delayed things for me). If you're interested, the place is called Sandy Pines, and they're located in Jupitor, Florida. The facility is very nice as well, the have a large pool, a field for all of our outdoor activities, a gym, a "living" area(TV, nintendo/playstation), a laundry room (each room had its own laundry day) and in our rooms we had our own private bathrooms. The cafeteria was also nice, it had a picnic area so if our family came to see us we could have a nice lunch w/them. If you would like more info, let me know.

Wow! I just posted a new thread in another area looking for the same type of information. We have the same problem with our a-son, 15yo, way out of control. Unlike our 17 a-dau who has given us trouble for a long, drawn out time, our son just burst into flames. We cannot have him home, and he already got kicked out of a "regular" christian boarding school. I had found an at-risk boarding school in west va., but they just told me they have had a set back and may not have any openings till feb., and we CANNOT wait that long. I called the Aspen group and they have programs and schools, but $50k a year is just too much. I have plans to make some calls on Monday, and if I find out anything I think is useful, I bring it here. One place is Freedom Village, but the kid has to call them and agre to go, and in my case that ain't gonna happen! It is comforting just to have a place to come and pick someone's brain!! Lucyjoy - if anyone can find out things, you can!! Best to all,

Disowned Rocker, Thanks for the info. about your program and that it did help you. It's really good to hear from someone who actually went through a program, and their thoughts about it, that it really was helpful (thanks!) We are all set for our son to go to the Tennessee program this Tues. (Nov. 30th.) They also work on a level system (stage system, they call it.) We sure hope it helps him! My most recent finding was that he'd taken his Bible to school, had it in his backpack (wow, I thought, how nice) only to look into it further, to see that he'd cut pieces of the white paper out (thankfully not the words!) and I am supposing he was using it for rolling paper! How sad... Not anymore thankgoodness, I confiscated it! Cathy

Can you share info on the program in Tennessee? and Lucyjoy - you may want to look at miraclemeadows - that's the one I was considering before. Thanks!

Just keep yourself prepared for the beginning. He'll more than likely be VERY angry w/ you, say anything to get you to sign him out of there, and then when you don't he'll tell you you're just walking away from you, bottom line: He won't understand that you're doing it for his best interests. The other kids in the facility will befriend him, take HIS side, and agree with everything he has to say about you and feed into it. It will take time for him to open up and realize what's going on, it will be a long road, but keep your head up, it will help him. If he gets upset, stay as calm as possible. Anytime the staff noticed one of us was getting upset w/our parents, they would cut the visitation or the phone call short.

The level (stage) system is one of the best out there. First, you can't earn your next level w/in the first couple of weeks, chances are you're just on your best behavior because you think that will get you out of there quickly. Plus it gives them time to monitor you when you think their not watching, so they can get see the big picture. And when you DO finally earn your levels, the first act of unacceptable behavior and you're at the bottom again. Also, they don't just hand your levels out. You have to apply for them, and explain why you think you've earned your level, what have you improved on, what do you still need to improve on, etc. etc. The nurses and doctor then conversate, and you find out the next day if you've earned your level. They usually deny you the first 2 or 3 times, because most children when they first go in don't feel they need to be there.

Wow...Thanks for the insight. I appreciate it, since you've been the one thinking those things. Right now, all we are thinking about is the countdown...two more days. But, it is good to be prepared for what's ahead. The best way to check out the Tennessee program is to go to [url]www.threesprings.com/duckriver[/url] Their website is VERY good. They even mentioned groups that focus on adoption issues. I really liked their staff credentials. That was the deciding factor for us. The other program we were looking into was going to "get back to us" about that and never did!

Neebob, I had written you a reply, but I guess it didn't "take." Sorry to hear you have to go through problems with both your adopted children. I was adopted myself, so I thought I could relate to my adopted son, but didn't realize at the time that adopted kids struggle so much. Now, I see it more clearly. What I'd written was the money thing started for us as being closed to even spending a dime, then we progressed to maybe $30,000 tops for a military school, then decided against that for our son (oppositional defiant...figured he'd only comply because he was forced, and we wanted a heart change...) and also looked at out of the contry programs, since they were cheaper. But, we had some very strong advice from two different sources to avoid going out of the country. Then, we did a lot of internet research for different programs, and finally came up with two main ones. Our friends had a son who went through a program in Montana and did very well. The other was the one I'd written about preciously in Tennessee. Hope this helps. Cathy

I'm interested in learning more about this program, I will do a web search. In the meantime maybe you can tell me about how long is the treatment? I'm hoping for something long term for my step-daughter, no less than 4 months. Do you know how they handle family therapy if the family lives way out of state? Also, do you know if Medicaid covers any of the costs?

Hi Mrsleedavis, I love this program. It is wonderful. My son has been there since Nov 30th. Usually it is about a year, but can be longer. Depends on the child. The one we go to in Tennessee is for boys only, but I know Three Springs has a girls program too. We usually go to Family Day once a month (we live in Denver) but they can do the counseling session over the phone instead. We get email updates once a week also. I don't know about Medicaid. I know some insurances help though. The main thing that works with this program is peer group pressure. They are in groups of 10-12. You move up a level by your behavior. Earning it and really appreciating what you had before you went there. Hope this helps!

My son is currently attending the program at Missanabie Woods Academy-part of New Horizons Youth MInistries-It has been recommended that he go to their academy in the Dominican Republic for the school year. Unfortunately, I am financially drained from just the summer program. Does anyone know of any financial aid or grant programs that are available for adopted children for these types of programs? I have searched for hours online and can't find anything. Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!!

If you're looking for a program be very careful about troubled teenagers camps. Look into different types of programs with therapeutic components.

Also, it's worth a shot! at best. The biggest factor in whether it would be good is if the teen is ready to listen to the instructors at the program they will be going to.