IUI/AI When Does the Church Allow it??

Thanks so much for your replies. I suppose we will not be allowed to do IUI, b/c it would replace the marital act. They Dr's would have to extract sprem from my husband's testicles, b/c there is none present in his semen. This clearly replaces the marital act. Thanks again!

Genevieve We have the same problem...and traveled the road you are on 10 year ago. We now are the proud parents of 2 soon to be 3 children who joined our family through adoption. It is a journey...but worth every mile!!!! Katie

Thanks, Katie. I am amazed at your devotion to the teachings of our faith. This truly is a test. We are looking into adoption from China. Thanks again! -Genevieve

We too are adopting from China. I have had several friends that have put themselves in extreame debt through fertility treatments and are now unable to adopt because of the cost. We know in our hearts that our little Lizzie from China is meant to be our baby and couldn't be more excited.:)

Hello - My husband and I (33 and 34 y.o.) have been married for 10 years and spent the last 3 & 1/2 yrs TTC, dealing w/ "unexplained infertility." We had multiple surgeries and 6 failed IUI attempts. I, too, struggled with the IUIs, esp. knowing what the Church teaches. However, we now realize that God is leading us in a different direction, and that adoption is the path we are meant to take. So we are know looking into adopting two children from Kazakhstan (hopefully a toddler and an infant) and are extremely excited. Right now we're trying to figure out how to go about financing the adoption, so we're really praying about that right now. Even though we still haven't officially started the paper chase, I can't wait until we can bring them home! :) Maureen

Dear Maureen, Thanks so much for your reply. Sometimes it is so difficult having strong Catholic values and convictions in today's world. My husband has normal sperm production, but has a defect where he is missing the tube which carries the sperm out into the semen. There is a 100% success rate with IVF, if the Dr. goes in and retrieves sperm. No one seems to understand why we don't "just do IVF", and have a baby. It is just so nice to hear from someone else who shares my values and can relate. I am really happy for you and you rhusband. What an exciting decision!! I'm, sure you're aware you'll get a really huge tax credit, but I know that doesn't make coming up with the $ any easier. May I ask you how you chose Kazakhstan? There are just so many decisions to be made, starting with what country to choose, I'm always looking to learn about the benefits of adopting from each country. Good Luck and God Bless! -Genevieve

We have gotten that phrase quite a bit too Genevieve...why don't you just do IVF? Or, have you considered a doner? (which just personaly creeps me out...) It never ceases to amaze me how nosey people can be! Have you decided on international adoption for sure? And you are right...the decision to adopt is a big one and definately only the beginning of making them!!!! Good luck to you on your journey! Kathy Oh and to update....we brought home our third domestic newborn Nov 30, 2004 and hope to finalize this coming June! She will be 5 months old this week...just a sweetheart!

Thanks for your reply, Katie. Congratulations on #3!! We haven't decided to adopt for sure, but I am leaning toward international. What's your take on international vs. domestic? Did you use the same agency for all 3 adoptions? (I'm not sure if you're allowed to poast the name). Thanks -Genevieve

For those of you who are still attempting to pinpoint the infertility that are well withing the teachings of the margesterium, id like to suggest Dr Hilgers in Omaha. He developed the Creighton method and NaProTechnology. Many couples both exp primary and secondary have had extremely high succes rates with his methods. [url]www.popepaulvi.com[/url] Pax, Yvonne

Gen... Our 2 main reasons for choosing domestic over international were: cost and age of baby. And we actually worked with a total of 5 agencies! Our son was through an agency in NM, we brought him home from the hospital. The agency that connected us to our first daughter had actually borrowed our album from the agency we were working with (actually the SW who borrowed it had left it in a pile after we weren't choosen and another SW took it by mistake and that led us to our daughter!!!!) The agency we are working with for our second daughter works together with the agency that connected us to her. This adoption has been the most stressful and costly of all three (18k) Which is still cheaper the international. We have semi open adoptions, sending pictures and letters twice a year and have had some visits in nuetral locations. I like that there is still a connection and hopefully will help our kids with questions they may have as they grow. good luck! Kathy

Genevieve, I wish you success in figuring out the type of adoption you want to pursue.There is a lot to research to do. I did want to point out that your statement about 100% "success rate" with IVF of any type is not true by any stretch of the imagination. There may be high success with fertilizing an egg in vitro but there is quite low success with sorting out what doctors feel are "quality-enough" embryos to implant and not good success with implantation rate either. That is why the magisterium talks about how IVF is disproportionate risk in the instruction I reference above

Genevieve, As you make your family planning decisions, I would highly recommend the show Adoption Stories. It's on the Discovery Health Channel, which you need digital cable to get, I think. It shows little half hour documentaries of different people's adoption journeys. It's a great way to get your gut reaction to different types of adoption. I wish you and your husband all the best as you try to discern God's will for you.

I just read a book "Bioethcis and catholicism". The author explained that anything that interrupts or substitutes the congugal act is considered immoral because it replaces God in the act of pregnancy. Since IUI requires the physician to insert the sperm, the Church does not support it. But meds that make a woman ovulate are not since it is only causing the women to ovulate and still requires the "act" to conceive. I am sorry to hear about your husband. My dh and I are in a similar boat but I am also part of the problem. It took time but now we are looking forward to possibly adopting one day. I teach RCIA at my church and we have been watching alot of vidoes during the lenten season about the redemptive quality of suffering and how it brings us closer to God. I consider this "my cross to bear". Good luck, please let everyone on this board know how you are doing

Thanks so much for your reply. It is quite across. We considered China adoption for a while, then I got cold feet. Last week at mass, however, I really started feeling like maybe this was what we are supposed to do. I've been so trying to focus on asking "What is God's will for me?", wondering whether adoption was the thing to do. I feel I got an answer when I was reading a book about the life of Padre Pio. One of the doctors who was supposed to operate on Padre Pio asked Padre Pio to first pray, and to ask if this was God's will that he (this doctor) be the one to perform the operation. Padre Pio firmly responded, in a nutshell, that that is a ridiculous question because of you are doing something good to help another it is always God's will! Considering what would otherwise be the fate of a little orphan in China, I think God will probably smile on us. Lets keep each other in our prayers! Thanks so much. -Genevieve

Genevieve, we just mailed of our dossier to China, and I can't help my heart from smiling- we are now REALLY on our way. Here are some of the factors that influenced us to pick international adoption with China: 1) China has a strong and reliable history with adoptions, thus creating both stable timelines and fee structures. After years of infertility and waiting each month while holding our breath, I wasn't up for the "unknown" timeline and waiting of a domestic adoption. 2) I know that I am being paranoid and that the facts and statistics don't support it, but domestic adoption scared me. The thought of a birth mom changing her mind would be too much for me to bear, and our state has a fairly large window for a birthmom to change her mind. 3) The health of Chinese adoptees has been statistically been very good/ stable. The rate of FAS and HIV are VERY low. While most experience some initial dev. delays, in almost all cases they catch up within months if not by school age. 4)The plight of female babies in China tugs at the heart. Lisa Ling did a wonderful documentry for NG, China's Lost Girls, that outlines the cultural pressures and implications of population policies in the country. I couldn't see us trying to "sell" ourselves to pbm, "competing" with other couples for an american newborn when these girls face a lifetime of abandonment, living in an orphanage. 5) After a lot of talk and research, we think that we can comfortably include Chinese culture in our home and in our lives. We had initially planned to honeymoon in Asia and due to our travel agent's negligence it was cancelled, it seems "meant to be" that the next big milestone in our marriage be marked by the trip we had orig. wanted to take. We also have a large Asian population inour county, we know she will have peers that "look like her", even if we don't. 6) There is an incredIble support system out there for chinese adoptions. We are already involved in our local chapter of Families with Children from China. The China link on this sight is awesome! There is also a wealth of reading material, etc, to draw from. We have done a lot to try and educate our families and they have been overwhelmingly supportive. I have really turned into the world's biggest advocate of Chinese adoption, so when I get someone about to go into their "why not IVF" shpeel, I can cut them off at the pass. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions or want to chat. :)