How do I find a new family?

Your post may have been removed. I know birth parents aren't supposed to look for adoptive families on this website...it's more for supporting one another...not finding placements. Maybe that's why your post was deleted. I know your situation is a liitle different....but you are still looking for another home for your child on this website. Instead I would use this website for advice, a place to vent or just for a friend. I would love to take in all the kids of the world....that are in need....i know that is impossible. my husband and i have been talkng a lot about your little girl. Your situation definately sounds like you could use some advice and other people's perspective. I'm sure you aren't taking this lightely. But I do have a few questions for you. Have you been through counceling with your child? Have you spoken to your Bishop? have you spoken to your family? to your little girl? Have you already been sealed to her in the temple? How does she feel about loosing her "forever family"? Would you consider giving her up...for the same reasons if she were your biological child? Do you know what RAD & ODD are, and are you willing to go through what ever therapy she needs to help her overcome her problems? Every transition she goes through will make her RAD condition worse and worse. She needs a loving family willing to give her the love she needs...and not give up on her. My heart breaks for her...I know she was placed in your home for a reason....you are her mother....you were led and guided to her....and now....it seems like you are giving up on her...just because things are getting hard. I'm not trying to lay any guilt or make you feel bad...I'm not in your shoes.....I know you have certianly prayed about your choice to let her go. Have you considered also letting her brother go...so she can be with her biological brother. I really am interested in your family....and wish I can be of some help. Please continue to write in this thread...the exact problems you are having...what you have done to try and work through them...and maybe some of us can offer some advice...or maybe just getting all of it our...will help make your decision easier. I will pray for your family....we aren't just talking about a quick fix...this little girl deserves a forever family..... and I wish her the best....as well as your family while you struggle through this decision. Ps. What state do you live in?

What kind of adoption is she going to be going through? Just private lawyers or through the church? My husband and i have adopted our kids through DHS so we haven't had to pay anything. If your child was adopted through DHS...since she is 10 she would automatically receive a subsity until the time she turned 18 and since she has special needs as well she would probably qualify to stay on medicaid...that would probably help with the cost of her counceling and stuff. Just curious what you guys have thought of. Are you still interested in being in her life....and helping her make the transition to the new home...and letting her have continued visists with her brother. Or are you looking for more of a closed adoption...where you just want her to go to her new home and have no contact. These are all things you will want to think about as you consider placing her.

Sorry to bug you again...I can't get her off my mind..... Can you post a picture of her? What is her story? Do you have any biological children...or did you just adopt these two? Was she living in an orphanage? Is her brother her biological brother or did you just adopt him at the same time?

I did adopt her and her brother from an orphange. We did an independant adoption almost 3 yrs ago. We are keeping her brother and hope to have some contact with her as she grows. She calls me almost every day. We want her to know that we are doing this for her own good, so that she can heal. She seems to understand. At first I wanted to cut off communication, but was advised to stay in her life or else it would be worse for her RAD. I do not know how to post a picture of her, or even if I'm allowed to in this forum. Her brother Nathan started attaching as soon as she left the home. I've seen many times with other disrupted adoptions where the separation from the sibling and original family actually helps the one having trouble to get better. They realize that they really blew it and if they don't give the next family a chance, then they aren't going to make it. We have had several kids in our area do better in the next home. Of course, we didn't think it would happen to us. We were in it for the long haul. The Lord just seemed to wake me up to the situation and say, "That's enough here, let her go". We are all praying the family He's got in mind if found soon. She is doing fine at my parents' for now. She is quite a stinker at times, but is on her good behavior for the most part.

You might want to go to the Special needs board here at adoption.com. There's an adoptive mom there who has adopted children from disrupted adoptions. She would know what the process is.