working mom of large families?

Well, not sure if I have any suggestions that will help you at all since I feel and have felt the same way at times. I have 4 boys aged 15, 12, 9 and 8. I remember my mother as a woman obsessed with cleaning the house (and it was beautiful) and now I have guilt over the fact that my house is unorganized. I do give the boys responsibilities, but, like you said it's difficult when they have school work. They attend private schools and have loads of homeowrk each night and to keep them from being burned out I give them breaks. Sometimes it's change clothes, back to homeowrk, snack, back to homework, dinner, back to homework, shower, then back to the homework. When I was working outside of the home, I felt so guilty. The boys were up with me at 6:00 and then in afterschool care until 6:30. I felt as though I was rushing all the time and then no rest on weekends since that was when the cleaning and washing of clothes needed to be done. I had to change some things, however. All of the boys are responsible for their rooms and the 3 youngest ones rotate on who is responsible for the bathroom they share (the oldest has his own bathroom). I started small with showing them how to make sure that the towels went in the dirty clothes hamper in the laundry room, and how to get the sponge and wash the sinks, Windex the mirrors, spray the "stuff" in the toilet, set the timer and then use the scrub brush. (The youngest 2 love the timer thing). My oldest now has to wash his own clothes and iron his uniforms. They now all rotate vacuuming on weekends. It took about 6 months but now they have the hang of it and I add things once they get the hang of it. They rotate on unloading the dishwasher. (I load it because I have had broken glasses and dishes). They take out the trash on a rotating schedule and walk the dog, get the mail, take out the recycling, etc. Well, I have some relief now that I work in the home. I am much less stressed. But the good thing is, that since I started while I was working outside of the home, they are well into doing so much around here without me having to do it and they have become so responsible. I still have to remind them of certain things and I do go behind them to make sure they're not slacking off. Don't feel guilty at all. I understand but I look at it this way. If they don't learn early how to be responsible, then it does them a disservice. My mom did everything for us and it made it so much harder for me to learn how to take care of myself. My poor husband! Our first few years were so hard for me because the house was a mess and I couldn't understand how to even begin to get organized. My MIL was wonderful and sat me down and explained certain things. She was so good about it. And it didn't help that the babies kept coming! LOL Hang in there! I'm sorry this got long but I wanted you to know that you're not alone at all. They will definitely have a childhood and in their free time, they will enjoy it more after taking pride in helping you. Good luck! I, like you, adore having a big family! kllee

I am desperately scrambling to get things in order around here before we go from a family of 5 to a family of 8. (Hoping for a February court date.) We set up a chore schedule book and keep it hung in the kitchen. Our children are 5,9 and 14. Each has three chores. Their own room, another room in the home and a pet care. The 5 year old's extra room is the foyer. She hangs up backpacks, jackets, puts away shoes,brings anything else to the room it belongs in and then sweeps. (We cut the handle of a broom to half size.) The boys have the family room and the living room. It has worked out great to keep them responsible for one room because they start to take ownership of it. They don't like to see someone leave an empty glass on the end table or pull pillows and blankets on the floor and not pick them up. First thing in the morning they get their chores done and I check them off. In the same book I keep a running balance of their allowances. They get paid for the work they've done, but I am the bank and when they want to go to the movies or they want to rent a game or it's time to buy a birthday present for one of their friends, we check their balance. I pay for these things and deduct it out of the chore schedule book. There are times when my 14 year old just wants to have cash with him ($5-$10) if he's invited along with a family somewhere, and we do that, too. Teaching my children to clean the bathroom and kitchen has been more of a challenge. For now I just have them in the room with me while I'm cleaning. I start the toilet, them have them finish while I empty the trash and then move to the sink and tub. I shouldn't have waited so long to teach them these skills, but I'm catching up. My boys must earn computer time by the number of minutes they spend helping with the bathroom or kitchen. We also use other methods to earn computer time; Cleaning the garage, raking leaves, helping a sibling with homework, working on flashcards with a younger sibling.