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Hi, I am new to this forum and have some questions regarding domestic adoption. My husband and I are from India and settled in the USA for over 14 yrs. We have a 3+ yr old daughter. We adopted her from India. Now, we are looking to adopt an infant with a Indian heritage here in the US. I hear from people that it is very difficult to find Indian birthparents willing to put their child for adoption. Has anyone in this forum know any info on this?. Can anyone guide us in the right path?. Any help in this matter is greatly appreciated. ---asha
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I can't teally help other than to reinforce the fact that it's very rare. I work in adoptions and I have never heard of and East Indian birth mother giving up her child. I think once East Indians are in the U.S. they often struggle to "make it" and grow their famililes and given the difficulty of emigrating to the US from India they are usually professionals. I'd check Canada to see if *perhaps* since they have a very large East Indian community an East Indian birth mother might be found.
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You would be most successful in finding a situation where biological parents were of Indian ethnicity through your own personal networking and searching. Target specifially areas with larger Indian communities for advertising, etc. If you like, PM me and I'll send you some suggested networking tips.
It's more rare to see biological parents of this ethnicity make adoption plans, so you should be patient if you do choose this route.
IMHO
Regina
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We adopted a newborn infant whose birth mother is originally from India. She was on a student visa studying here in the US. She didn't realize she was pregnant until she began showing. Her mother wanted her to have an abortion so her father would never find out - but it was too late - she was already in her 3rd trimester. When her father found out he was furious - apparently, had she been living in their region of India, this birth mother could have been killed or beaten for shaming her family in such a way. Even though she was already away at college, her parents made her put college on hold while they sent her away to live in a maternity home clear across the country so their local Indian community (and family back in India) would not find out.
The birth mother SPECIFICALLY looked for adoptive parents that were NOT Indian. She did not want to take any chances of having ANYONE ever finding out she had a baby. The birthmother also wanted her child to be raised here in the USA in a devout Christian family. We are very humbled and blessed she chose us. Unfortunately, our adoption is considered a "closed" adoption by the birth mothers choice.
To make a long story short, we would LOVE to adopt another newborn infant of Indian heritage, but as rare as our situation sounds, according to our birth mother, it's not as uncommon as one might think.
This birth mother explained to us that even though her religion is still very strict regarding sex before marriage, unmarried girls in her culture/religion - both here in the US and in India - DO get pregnant, but unfortunately most ABORT before their parents (especially their dad) ever find out.
She said rarely will these girls decide to keep/parent their babies due to the social/culture stigma, so those that do not abort ARE placing for adoption. However, she said that like her, most will want to see their babies placed with non-Indian families of Christian faith - far removed as much as possible from their own culture and religion.
So...IF you are Christians, and very established here in the US and "americanized" (a term she used - our birth mother wanted to make sure her baby girl would never have to live in India or have to have an arranged marriage, etc), I would highlight those points in your profile and pursue your dream. However, if you have strong ties to India and are Hindu, Muslim or Pujambi, it may prove to be more difficult to adopt a newborn infant of Indian heritage here in the US (if what our birth mother explained is true).
Hope this helps!