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Is breastfeeding an adopted child successful? How long does it take to get lactation going? Does it cost a substancial amount of money and do you need to see a doctor? I wonder this because I am hoping the family my child goes with will want to breastfeed her.
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I am breastfeeding my 10 month old adopted daughter.
I am so happy you are wanting your babies adoptive mother(if you choose to place for adoption) to breastfeed. Some mothers may feel awckward having anothor woman breastfeed their child...which I can completely understand.
Have you considered breastfeeding...your baby for the first couple days until you sign the papers. It is a gift only you can give to your child. The reason why i say this is because ..not only is it a special time you can spend with your baby..as you make the difficult choice to give him/her up...but an adoptive mom...can not produce colostrum. The milk that comes in the first few days...before the real milk comes in. It is loaded with so many immunities...and benefits for the baby. The milk an adoptive mom makes is completely...the same..as what you would make..a week or so after the baby was born..once your milk comes in. Sometimes, a birthmother will also offer to pump and express milk after the placement of her child...for the amom to use while she is building her milk supply. It may help you in your grieving process...knowing that even though you made the difficult choice not to parent.....you can still provide all or part of his/her nourishment...and protection from illness.
It takes a while to induce lactation, the more time you can give a pamom the more milk she will be able to make. Some amothers are already starting to try and produce milk...even before a pbmom picks them out...because they know about it and are very commited to nursing their new baby.
There are several ways to do it....there is not just one right way. Some people use the Newman Goldfarb protocals....way in advance...or start pumping...and some wait until they get the baby..and use a supplemental feeder..until they have built up a good milk supply. There are several places you can go to...find out more...or to refer to your pamom.
AskLenore.com....abrw.com.....fourfriends.com....there are many other sights as well.
Sometimes...and amom may want to breastfeed...but for some reason or another has to stop..or isn't able to produce milk...or only able to produce a very small amount. In those cases...the benefits of breastfeeding using the supplementor is still..one of the most important for the child and amom...that is the bonding...that comes with adoptive breastfeeding.
I guess what I'm trying to say..is even the most devoted breastfeeder may decide not to breastfeed after all...for one reason or another. If you want your amom to breastfeed...and let her know how important it is for you..that's all you can really do. You also have to be flexible and realize that it can't be a deal breaker...meaning..if she doesn't breastfeed (after she said she would) then that shouldn't be a reason to change your mind...on the adoption or be angry with her.
I know there were many times...I almost gave up..or did use bottles to supplement. I felt awkward breastfeeding in public...mainly becuase i was a foster parent..and didn't know what the rules in my area were ...for babies you are adopting...so i just did it secretly...fearing if word got out..the adoption worker might have changed her mind on letting us adopt because....she thought it was strange(she didn't even want to touch our baby until she was older...so I really felt she would have a negative reaction to it). But even at home..I struggled with even producing a drop of milk....until i started the newman goldfarb accelerated protocal...then i was finally able to produce some milk....Maybe....about an ounce of my own milk at each feeding. Then....when my baby got around 9months old...she started being to busy...and wiggly...and wouldn't sit still to nurse....Instead...of sticking it out...I kinda let her slowely wean....and now at 10 months...she has changed her mind and is now...really wanting to nurse....so my milk is now all dried up..and i am about to start the medication..and stuff all over again...to get my milk started again.
Even if i never produce milk...again....(which I'm sure i can) the bonding and comfort i can provide for my little girl...just using the lact-aid.....is well worth all the effort...and money involved.
(No offense to amothers who didn't nurse)but I have had many babies in my home as a foster mother who bottlefed. Nothing can compare to the feelings i have for my little girl who I breastfed. I really feel that a breastfeeding mother...is more in tune with her baby. My baby either slept with me...in the cove of my arm..or in her bassinet right beside my bed...since she was born. She has just started to sleep some nights in a crib in her room since she was 7 months....otherwise she is with me. In the middle of the night...she would wake up..and just putting her to my breast...even when i didn't have much milk..with her body up against my skin...comforted her....as she woke every night..and during the day when she wasn't hungry...just needing comfort.
I really admire you for wanting your pamom to share in that specail bond between mother and child.
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Hi, knowing from the otherside of the story...that I as a person that wants to be a mother in the worst way...that I am scared to ask the birth moms if they would be "ok" with this. I am scared that it may cause them to not choose my husband and I. I would suggest that if this is what you want then make it known to the parents that you are considering...there are many of us out there that want to do what is best for the baby (ie...in my opinion, that it is). Just ask...you are the one that has the option to choose who you place the baby with. I can promise that there is a "mom" out there waiting for you to bring it up. May you find the right family for your baby.
I was very successful in breastfeeding my adopted son. I had the luxury of being able to prepare five months in advance. I visited with a doctor who specialized in lactation and she helped me get things going, so to speak! I took double birth control pills and domperidone up until two weeks before he was born. I stopped the the bc and continued the domperidone while I pumped every two hours around the clock. Just when I thought I couldn't go on... our son was born and he latched on right away. No problem. He exclusively breastfed for eleven months. Only had a bottle of formula on occassion. I had pumped for our first son who was terminally ill two years before and my body remembered and jumped right in. I even had too much milk and had to stop taking the med. It was a wonderful experience and worth all the effort. I hope your baby's adoptive mom decides to give it a try.
I was successful at breastfeeding.
I had no help from my doctor because he knew nothing about inducing lactation. But I read up a lot in the internet and did everything I could.
LACTAID units and bags can add up as far as cost, but it's not forever. I found Domperidone cheap abroad. Fenugreek is affordable too. All those added up it cost more than exclusive breastfeeding...but it was worth it!
The birthmom of my baby never expressed opposition to breastfeeding, though birthgrandmom thought it was strange and recommended me to stick with the bottle and formula....I did what I thought was best for my baby and me. I felt I needed to experience this, and now I produce breakfasts for my baby at 6 months. The bonding in breastfeeding is priceless.
If I were you I'd be confident to express your desire to have adoptive mom breastfeed. While breastfeeding is not for everyone because it can be time consuming and painful, and many natural mothers even pass on, there are many moms adoptive and natural that enjoy and choose to breastfeed.
You'll find an adoptive mom that will breastfeed your child!
Blessings to you and this baby!!!
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I bf our adopted dd. I agree that you should initiate the topic with pamoms. Rather or not you use the answer in making your decision, it will open the door for deeper conversation. I asked dd's bmom if she minded and if she minded if I did so in front of her. But not everyone will feel comfortable asking.
If you chose an amom who wishes to bf, please be sure to discuss this with the hospital and your adoption agency/lawyer. Yes, bfing your baby at the start is great for bonding and the colostrum - a wonderful and very special gift! But, you may also wish to allow the amom to bf at the start as well (alternating with you or exclusively with you pumping). This may help with latch, etc. Our lawyer from a very well respected adoption agency had drawn up papers which gave me, the amom, medical power of attorney in the event the bmom could not speak for herself. There were a lot of papers supporting the relationship between the bmom and myself. There was even a paper that prohibited the nursing staff from saying anything against adoption or trying to talk the bmom out of adoption (this was her idea). The lawyer sent our photographs and driver's licenses along with all of the necessary legal papers to the hospital. All of this was kept locked in the social worker's desk and was not accessible over the weekend. Of course, dd was born on Saturday. Allowing my dh and I access to our baby gave the nursing staff great concern, even though bmom consented in person (and my lawyer spoke with the staff by phone.) The social worker was contacted by phone and FORBADE me to bf, regardless of the bmom's wishes!! Luckily, there was a sympathetic nurse on duty who allowed me to start bf. The SW had no recourse when she showed up the next day but to allow me to continue. She made it known to everyone that she disapproved and this would NEVER happen again at HER hospital. When I asked our lawyer to intervene on our behalf regarding the bf, she replied that the SW could restrict our time with our dd and we would have to decide if we wanted to chance that. (We had not discussed bf with the laywer prior so she didn't put it in the adoption plan.)
My point is, if you wish to allow the amom to bf at the hospital, please put it in writing - be specific. Also, be sure to keep a copy of the papers for yourself and have the amom keep a copy as well. I can't believe that such important papers would be kept unavailable just because of the day of the week. My lawyer was perplexed as this hadn't happened to her before. You never know!
Carrol
I adopted my daughter from Guatemala, but I went there to foster her until we could bring her home. She has been a great breast-baby from the day I got her. She's 7 months old now and still primarily breastfed. I use the lact-aid as I have never been pregnant, I'm not using meds or herbs, and she does get frustrated when she's hungry and the breast has given its all!;) It's the best thing I have ever done. Highly recommend it!~Shannon
We are starting the purposeful weanig process with our fourth child (second to be breastfed). She is 2.5 and it has been a great ride. If I left it up to her she would probably be one of those kids who would nurse all the way into her school years. Her older brother finally weaned at 3.25 without any prodding but Miranda needs some help along the way.
With Sam I had the chance to prepare but because he had latch and suck issues it took six months to finally wean off the Lact-aid full time. With Miranda we had no notice so we just started using the Lactaid and pumping to build supply. i used herbs but found that some worked better for me while others work beter for others. My personal blend was fenugreek, blessed thistle and fennel seed. I had GREAT luck with goat's rue but the taste was hideous and alfalfla also helped but it made me so hungry I was afraid I would look like a dairy cow because of the amount I wanted to eat. I have heard some people have great success with yeast but never worked for me and my babies both had thrush so I avoided yeasty type stuff. I took dompereidone with each of them for the first year then nursed without it for the next two. More later. I am being paged by a cranky two year old.
lias
I am bfeeding my 6 mos old baby. I had a late start. We were matched right before he was born and wer were together for a week but then I was separated from him for about 10 days ( long story) anyway so he was about 3 weeks old when we got started. I took Dom and herbs and it took about 10 days or so for my milk to come in. Its been great. I do supplement with bottles, but I am about at half supply. Its great for bonding and its also the only way we get him to sleep at night!!!!
I was overwhelmed in the beginning, but it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I would encourage anyone that is interested to give it a try. It is well worth it!!!!
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A great source for adoptive breastfeeding is the adoptive breastfeeding resource web site. The address is something like [url]www.abrw/4friends[/url]. If you run a search you will be able to find it. There is a woman on there that successfully abf her daughter that she adopted at age 3. Check them out there is loads of info and tons of support. Shelley
I sucessfully did it for 9 mo. until she weaned herself. I pumped three times a day for 10 min. each and took domperidone previous to placement. I had milk in 2 days and got my baby within 2 weeks of signing. I would start early because I wish I had gotten a chance to freeze some. I had my daughter 15 min. and she latched right on with no issues, even with her being preemie. It was the best experience I have ever had!!! It is fourfriends.com/abrw
:) Hello, we have a surrogate going to carry my husband and I's baby, (not preg. yet), and I really want to breast feed our little one, but I am 31 years old now, when I was only 23 y.o., I had a TOTAL hyst. and have NO ovaries or ANYTHING, is this still an option for me? I sure hope so. Also, takeing the Domperidone med., is there any side affects to it and if so, what?..Is it safe to take for the baby,(and you?),?..how long should/can you take it?..My mom is on this same drug, but it is used to help her colon/intestines to work, never heard of it used for this/breast feeding, until now. Any advice on how SOON to start to get milk coming in?..** isn't even preg. yet, getting ready to artificially insiminate with husband's sperm, hopefully wont take to many times befor she does, praying anyway!! What is really the VERY FIRST STEP to take in preparing to breast feed?..ALL VERY NEW TO ME, JUST LEARNING, BUT WOULD LOVE TO DO THIS!!!! Thanks for ANY advice/input, Hope:flower:
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mom2GRLC
(No offense to amothers who didn't nurse)but I have had many babies in my home as a foster mother who bottlefed. Nothing can compare to the feelings i have for my little girl who I breastfed. I really feel that a breastfeeding mother...is more in tune with her baby. My baby either slept with me...in the cove of my arm..or in her bassinet right beside my bed...since she was born. She has just started to sleep some nights in a crib in her room since she was 7 months....otherwise she is with me. In the middle of the night...she would wake up..and just putting her to my breast...even when i didn't have much milk..with her body up against my skin...comforted her....as she woke every night..and during the day when she wasn't hungry...just needing comfort.
I really admire you for wanting your pamom to share in that specail bond between mother and child.
My comments were based on my experience and i stand by them 100%. My breastfed baby was much different than any of my other bottlefed babies. Just the act of breastfeeding changes the little things....and creates for a special relationship between mother and child that unless experienced could not be truly understood/felt.
I'm not saying I love my breastfed baby more than my other children or anything like that. Only that it does create a verty intimate. personal, motherly experience that bottle feeding just DOES NOT provide.
Some people may not even want to breastfeed or can't for some reason like in your case, I'm not saying it's best for your situation or anyone elses. Only that it is best for my family...and is an important part of living my dreams of being a mother to my children. It's a special part of mothering that I wish I could have experienced with my other adopted children and one that if I were to ever have a baby again either bio or adopted I would do it again in a heart beat.
I'm sorry you weren't able to breastfeed like you had hoped. You made the right choice for you and your family and just because you couldn't breastfeed does not mean that you are less of a Mom or that you have Less of a bond with your child. I'm sure you are a wondeful Mom and completely in love with your sweet baby. Keep up the good work!!