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Any suggestions for encouraging my 4yr old FS (soon to adopted by us) to participate in playful games? He runs and hides whenever we try to play or sing toddler songs! His 2 yr old sister and 3yr old brother play along well-it's just the 4yr old who won't? He almost acts scared. We were playing Old McDonald (making animal noises and actions) he would have nothing to do with it. No Itsy Bitsy Spider-not even Pat-A Cake. He has attached with me and is very loving-just won't play games. Has anyone had this problem?
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Any chance he's reacting to certain noises or levels of noise?
Any chance these songs could be triggering trauma memories?
Will he play with the other kids if you don't? If you ignore him and continue to play would he watch or join you?
Will he play games with you if the other kids aren't playing? Will he let you hold him and rock him on your terms?
There are so many things that could be causing this. If this were me, I'd try journaling or writing notes about the behavior and look for any kind of patterns. Also, if you have access to it, recheck his files or check with former foster parents to see if this is repeat or new behavior.
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