She wants her boyfriend (not husband) to adopt my daughter...

I don't know of one state that would allow a step parent adoption if the parties aren't married, with the exception of same sex partners (which is allowed in some states).

no judge will allow her bf to adopt the child. they will have to be married at least a year, and they will also need your consent before the adoption can take place.

Actually incorrect - there are many ways a fathers rights can be terminated - "consent" is just one of them.

I know it varies state-to-state, but isn't whether or not child support has been paid consistently and visitation taken into account as well? I think it is here in MN. If the non-custodial parent has NOT paid child support consistently over the past five years or seen the child on a consistent basis -- then it is a possibility and almost seen as abandonment on the part of the non-custodial parent.