Frustrated, please help!

Our daughter is a screecher. It gets worse at all of the usual frustration times....tired, not feeling well, hungry. About the only thing I've found that almost always brings her out of it is singing in a very soft voice, "the itsy bitsy spider". Sounds crazy, I know, and some other songs only make it worse. Anyhow....thought you might give it a try.

Oh my gosh..I'm so glad you posted this. I'm in the same position. We just got 2 girls a couple nights ago. One is almost 3 and the other is 14 1/2 months. They are both sick right now and not dealing very well with the transition. The older girl just has to be by my side every minute and will cry at times. The 14 month old is way worse. She follows me around everywhere and cryes/screeches ALL day long. She doesn't know what she wants....or at least what ever I have to give isn't what she wants after all. She is constantly screeching so loud....it's like a high pitched alarms screaming right through your head. I haven't found any ways top stop her. We just got them thursday night and my husband was saying today...."Give your 10 day notice....monday". Well, not exactly ..his exact words were..."they need to GO tomorrow." He mentioned that they have only gotten worse and worse....which in many ways I do agree with him...at least with the little one. I don't know what else I can do to help comfort her. We have 6 kids in the house now, Ages (5,3,2,14 months.12months,5 months.) Things were going so smothly with just our 4 kids....that when they called trying to find a placement for these kids(after calling for over an hour) I told them yes, knowing that they would probably move these kids within the month or so to be with their siblings when a home was found. But i trully don't know if we can stand it that long. Her screeching disturbs the whole house....it's all day long...especially when we are trying to eat or get things done, I know she is just wanting attention...but when i give it to her half the time she just pulls away and screaches for me to let her go. How long can i expect this to continue? Or will it be with her for several months/years until she finally can talk and express herself. We've had kids cry all the time and scream before but this is completely different. I'm suprised all the windows in our house haven't shattered...it is so high pitched and loud. There is nothing I can even compare it to...to explain it. I know we would be able to handle all these kids and enjoy them until they were placed with their siblings....but....with this screeching....it's hard to concentrate on anything(especially all the other kids) with that constant loud noise going on. At times we just put her in her room which is at the opposite end of our house and close her door plus our hallway door and you can still hear her...just not quite as loud. I just don't know how to comfort her....and how to get rid of this behavior. Any advice? I've tried singing...it doesn't work....I haven't tried the itzy bitzy spider though...I'll have to give it a try.

You guys might try sign language, too. If it's a communication problem it really helps. They are old enough they will pick up things like please, help, more, eat, (those are the biggies) really quick....but sorry jessica, maybe not by tomorrow :o . If that doesn't work maybe a good pair of earplugs :p !

Last night was so bad that hubby and I said this CANNOT go on another day, let alone the 7 days we would need to give notice. His screeches are so unsettling, like he was raised with wild animals or something. I really can't explain it either. But, we have our 7 yo adopted special needs daughter who is reacting big time to this disruption. She keeps begging me to keep him quiet. A friend, who has done foster care forever, said to ignore ignore ignore! Use ear plugs and just let him screech, giving him NO attention while he is screeching. Then, when he is quiet, give lots of attention. Problem is, baby J is starting to model his behaviors and I cannot have that! It has been over a month and it seems worse rather than better. We use baby sign, he came to us knowing "more" "eat" and "drink" and we watch and practice with the video several times daily. Maybe I am just getting too old for this??!!??!! :rolleyes: Hugs, Vickie

Have you tried each time he screeches saying that is not okay and you need to go to your crib until you can calm down? And be consistant that each time he does it put him in his crib and as soon as he calms down go in and say good boy, happy boy now you can come back and play. The more times you do it and the more consistant you are the more he will catch on. Make sure there is nothing he can play with in his crib so he knows you can't play until he calms down. Let me know how it goes. I will be praying for you. We had a screamer also and it takes a lot of time and patience.

Hi, I did try that for a bit, but he can go on for hours and it was really bothering the rest of our kids. But, I am game to try it again. I really would like to try to help him through this, but not at the expense of the rest of our family's sanity (and hearing!!) Thanks everyone! Hugs, Vickie

My bio son used to do this (to some degree) and actually ended up being diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Maybe try researching under this topic for suggestions? As you probably know communication is one of the big issues with autism. Even if he's not, the strategies may work as they are directed toward kids who are hard to reach. ;)

I agree that he may have some higher needs, but it may be that's the only way he's gotten what he needed before. It you can be consistent with consequencing the screeches with either time out in crib, or ignoring( hard to do) or even losing a toy until he can be quiet, he should eventually stop. It will get worse before it gets better, even for a couple of weeks. If that doesn't work or start to work, you might want to suggest to have a specialist look at him for autism or other conditions. Hope this helps!

I guess you guys are reading my mind!!! I have been thinking about Autism! He has many of the signs, and I have brought that up to the Social Worker. I will bring it to her attention, yet again! I feel so much for this little boy already. I hope and pray we can help him, at least somewhat!! Thanks again, you guys are the greatest! Hugs, Vickie

I wasn't going to post as I have no experience with a true screamer, nor with any special needs such as autism. But what I wanted to say was that I have always been told to not punish a child where he sleeps. He will associate his crib with punishment, and then bed time will be a real problem too. I agree with time outs or time ins, depending on the circumstance. My friend uses a playpen in another room for her fs when he needs to have a time out. This keeps him safe and the play pen is only used for this purpose, not for sleeping ever.Please let us know how you and your family are, and especially how this lil guy is. Warm Wishes....Teagans Mama

Hi, well things have not improved much, in fact now he is throwing objects at me and the other baby. Yesterday he had his first true MAJOR temper tantrum. I was stunned at the rage in it. His SW got him evaluated by an early intervention and he qualified. Not sure when it will start but they will come to the house for an hour and a half 2-3 times weekly and help with all his developmental delays and behavior issues. AHHHHHH!!!! Relief!!!! I feel so much better knowing he will be getting help. We are falling in love with the little guy (little thorns and all) and it is looking like Grandma only wants him till an adoptive family is found (we think we want to adopt him!!). So...kinda in limbo right now as to if he will be with us or not. Bio mom and dad blew it, big time and are on supervised visitation again with SW saying they have little chance at getting him back. I feel horrible for bio mom, she really is an awesome person/mom. Bio dad is the issue and she refuses to leave him. On a side note, I had L and J's picture taken a few days ago and the people there would not believe me that they were not twins!! It turned out too adorable! I also had individual pics taken. So bio mom and gma will get pics too. Bio Gma is taking L for the weekend. I am glad for the break, but will miss him terribly. Will update as the saga continues!! Hugs, Vickie