Drug/Alcohol-Addicted Birth Mother

We have fostered drug exposed children and some seem affected and some don't. Lots of it depends on when they were exposed a)in utero or 2) post delivery exposure ie. Meth labs. Also, many behaviors and issues you deal with will improve when brought in to a healthy environment and with time you are able to help them heal. We had a child thought to possibly be autistic and within days of being in our care starting changing and it was ruled that he had the autistic type behaviors due to social deprivation in the home environment. He is doing great now.:) On the other hand, some problems will never improve as with FAS, when you really have to understand they will only have a certain level of functioning for a lifetime. Unfortunately, love and a good home don't cure all. That is what is so sad about it.

Nursie, Thank you for your response. I hadn't even considered post delivery exposure.

I'm not sure if you're asking about the possibilities of being able to adopt such a child, or about whether or not such a child can overcome the obstacles resulting from their exposure? If it is the former, so many things factor in. Are there any appropriate, willing relatives to take the child? Are there any sibs and where are they? Has bmom had other kids taken away because of substance abuse or any other run-in's with the system? Is bdad in the picture? Is bmom working her program according to the permanency plan and really making an effort to get her child/ren back? Does she have stable housing and a way to support her child/ren? Then you have the whole other side of the system to consider. Is the child's SW competent and efficient, doing her job and getting the proper paperwork done and on time? Is the whole team working together for the child's best interests? What does the judge think about reunification or tpr of this particular case? I think you really have to believe in the divine plan of God and His Omnipotence in order to see this process through. How many times has a child been reunified, reunification failed and now they are back in the foster care system? I think providing foster care is a high calling and not for the faint-at-heart! I know it sure is teaching me some lessons--the hard way, but at least I'm learning!!! RM

Thank you!

My know of a family who adopted three drug exposed infants (they live next door to my in-law's). They are teenagers now, and all doing great. One is not exactly "slow", but not quite the brightest either...same as could happen with bio kids. They are well behaved, nice kids who do well in school. Our dd, 4 years old, was probably exposed to drugs and/or alcohol...possibly after birth as well. Although I an on the lookout for any issues where she will need extra help, she is doing great so far (other than defiance that I have written about elswhere, and which is to be expected at this age, especially with foster children). I think she is quite bright, as does her therapist and former foster mom. Of course there are the not-so-happy stories, as you mentioned. It is definitely a gamble. But again, having a bio child is a gamble as well. Good luck to you!

Thanks SFBay Mom. That's is great news!

I adopted my daughter through Catholic Charities. She was exposed to crack, cigarettes, and alcohol before birth.She was also premature-but doctors weren't sure how early because the ** had no prenatal care. For the first 6 months, Maire-Kate was really sleepy but happy. She didn't have any health problems. By 7 months, she was right on schedule-doing everything she was supposed to do. When she started school last year, she really struggled with remembering the letters of the alphabet. She'd learn A, she'd learn B, but when you introduce C, she'd forget all three. The teacher was concerned but then Maire-Kate just grasped the letters. By the end of the Kind. she was right at grade level and doing well. This year in first grade she struggled with reading. She loves books and she loves reading but she struggles with how to sound out word. She would see the word "dog" and pick up the "g" instead of the "d". But again, she just sort of grasped the whole concept. By May, she was at grade level and promoted to second grade. I don't know if her learning difficulties are due to **'s drug use, if she's just "young" and needs more time to grasp concepts, or if a birth parent had a learning disability. Maire-Kate is still too young to test. Other than this, I have had absolutely NOOO problems at all. She's a dear heart and she really brightens my life. I don't think there have been any long term studies to show the effects that drugs have on kids. I've searched for statistics on learning disabilities for kids born to drug users and couldn't find anything. The effects of drug use probably varies from child to child. I wasn't sure what to expect when I said "yes" to Maire-Kate. I knew she was healthy from her medical exam. I just figured God would give me the child who is right for me.

Hi Kat-L - I noticed you are a new member here, so welcome!! Just to let you know, the abbreviation you used in the previous post for birthmother was **ed out because there are some members of these forums that find that abbreviation offensive. Bmom, birthmom, firstmom and biomom are all acceptable alternatives, though obviously longer to type. Just wanted to let you know in case you were wondering about how your post came out that way. Enjoy the forums and good luck to you on your adoption journey! Cheers! Heather

Thank you! I was wondering what happened there!

You are welcome! Please remember you can always PM me or any of the other moderators (Crick, Jensboys, BrandyHagz, Kiwi) with any questions you might have. There's no such thing as a silly question, 'cause believe me, I've tried to ask them all! :) Cheers! Heather

We just adopted our twins, after fostering them for a year and a half. They were crack and alcohol exposed before and after birth (breast fed). They are the cutest, happiest (okay, they're two, so they tantrum) kids in the world!!! They do need services, S is going into specialized preschool and OT/PT therapy, but early intervention is key. K is being tested at the FAS clinic, as she shows some features and behaviors, but we'll get her all the help she needs! I would venture to say that most drug and alcohol exposed kids will need some services at some point, but if you get services, read and research (like you are!), you can help them so much. Our kids need some extra help, yes, but we love them to pieces and they are the greatest joys in our lives! That, to me, is a success!! Hope this helps! Good luck!

I am fostering a newborn who is almost a month old. She tested positive for meth exposure and at a recent biomom visit, the mom told me she has a drinking problem, so I'm guessing the baby was probably exposed to alcohol as well even though it is not documented. The baby has been wonderful. She is very calm, eats well, and loves to be held. She does sleep most of the time, but I think that is pretty normal for newborns. At her last doctor's visit at 10 days old, the doc said that he didn't see any reason why "she shouldn't lead a normal life." She has a clean bill of health for now, but I have heard of issues surfacing later. We will see!

Hi there. We adopted a cocaine-exposed and possibly alcohol-exposed baby girl. She's now 2 years old and doing well, very smart, ahead developmentally. She is a bit small for her age, weight-wise but is doing great! We don't know how she'll do wheen school starts but for now she's done quite well. She has been saying her ABCs since about 18 months and can count up to almost 20. She is a joy to us, although lately has been having tantrums. The lovely 2-age year! Let us know what happens with you! Kathy

My fost/adopt son was exposed to cocain very early on in his bmom's pregnancy. I think she was two months pregnant when she tested positive. Then she refused drug testing for a while during her pregnancy. And then she tested positive for barbituits at my son's birth. He was a normal birth weight and had no problems after birth. He was not addicted at birth. He is a BIG boy and is somewhat delayed in the early milestones. But I have a few friends whose birth children are somewhat delayed as well. And it just so happens that they are big babies as well. So maybe that has something to do with it. My son was also a LITTLE stiff since birth. And he started having temper tantrums at 10 months of age but my doctor just tells me I have a stubborn baby! :D I think drug exposed babies are more prone to ADD or ADHD, but again there are many non-exposed children who have ADD and ADHD. (I'm a teacher) I have also heard that many times you will not see any problems until a child is school aged. And as a teacher I can tell you that some children learn at a slower pace than others. Drugs or no drugs kids need things to click and sometimes it takes longer for that to happen. I have no reservations about adopting another drug exposed child. Good luck to you! :)